MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should you foot the bridesmaid bill?



  • :eek: The bridesmaid is doing the bride a favour - not the other way round! Of course she should be allowed to keep the dress afterwards - what use is someone else's dress, anyway? (now socks or trousers, that's different, but...)

    So the bride's father pays for the dress and the bridesmaid keeps it - that's the way it goes!
  • We got married over 20 years ago and although totally skint paid for the whole wedding ourselves. Our allowed my two bridesmaids, one flower girl and one page boy to choose their own outfits from a hire shop. This kept everyone happy!
  • The tradition is that the unfortunate Father of the Bride pays for the lot. If you are lucky then the groom's parents offer to chip in.

    If you want bridesmaids you pay for what they wear and in fact it used to be traditional that as a thank you the groom gave all the bridesmaids a present.

    A big wedding is something you budget for - if you can't afford to do it properly you don't do it. Personally I think it is all a waste of money rather like the end of school Proms for 16 year olds which have taken off here and also cost a fortune with dresses, limos, hairdressing and the like. Your wedding day is when you and your intended make your vows to each other and is not merely an excuse to dress up. What is important is those vows not the setting and the clothes and your mum keeping in with all your relatives.
  • Iv been married twice and have married off 3 daughters and never asked a bridesmaid to buy their own dress. If you cant afford the bridesmaid outfits, then dont have any!
  • My daughter got married in April and I paid for the brides dress, her special underwear, all three bridesmaids dresses and headdresses.
  • Dekazer wrote: »

    I regularly fork out for expensive hen events (rarely just a night these days!), travel to weddings, accommodation, gifts, even my own drinks at the reception (a sore point :mad: ) but would draw the line at paying for something someone else has decided or insisted upon.

    why would you expect all the reception drinks to be paid for at every wedding reception?
  • The bride's father traditionally pays for the wedding and it is unacceptable to expect the bridesmaids' parents to pay for expensive outfits. Buy the child an everyday dress to match the other bridesmaids and send her in that.
  • gillyv
    gillyv Posts: 2 Newbie
    When I got married four years ago I nearly fell over when all 3 of my bridesmaids offered to pay for their dresses etc... It was just so odd to me that they should pay - if you want bridesmaids you pay for their outfit, including shoes. So no, the parents shouldn't pay and if the bride kicks off they should back out and dress the child themselves in something they choose.

    I was bridesmaid a few weeks ago and I don't suppose the bride would want my dress back even if I offered, she's got enough stuff from the day to store!
  • When we got married my 3 bidesmaids paid half of the cost of their dresses (£40 each) and we all decided on style. they picked dresses that could be worn again. I paid for shoes, hair, make-up etc. Had they been young girls i would have paid for the dress.
  • Daisy_Bell
    Daisy_Bell Posts: 186 Forumite
    No definitely not!

    "Common Sense is really not so common!"
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