Having kids - how do you survive?!

Timmne

Hi all!

Having kids is something that's on my mind a lot - not because I want them now but I will in a few years (being an accountant, it's natural that I begin to forecast )

My GF and I are on good salaries and I can't think how we'd ever be able to afford to have kids - well, not 'run' them per se, but childcare and the cost of working/not working.

Does anyone fancy filling me in on their circumstances? I know there are couples out there who earn a lot less than us but get by and do it well, too!

By the way, before anyone thinks it (!) - we don't insist on Champagne and smoked salmon for breakfast - it's not a case that we live lavishly and don't want to give it up, although we could cut back on a few hundred a month if we needed to (and will when the time comes!)

:beer:

BillScarab

Timmne wrote: »

we could cut back on a few hundred a month if we needed to (and will when the time comes!)

:beer:

There's your answer then!

As for childcare you have to balance the cost of childcare against how much money you cna bring in by working. My wife decided it wasn't worth paying for childcare and working full time as she wopuld have ended up with very little so she decided to stay at home with the children. Luckily we coudl survive on my salary. She's now lookign to go back to work as they are 8 and 6 and both at school.

To be hinest we found that we once we had a child we went out a lot less and that saves a hell of a lot. Also, children are only expensive if you want them to be. Don't go mad on expensive prams and suchlike that you won't use, buy clothes from cheaper shops as babies don't care if the clothes say Matalan or Versace on the label. Food doesn't have to cost a fortune either if you don't buy all pre-made stuff.

Funnily enough although a lot of people worry about the cost everyone seems to manage. You just change your priorities.

Lillibet_2

Really the only cost you have to worry about is either childcare or loss of a salary, everything else is incidental. Once you work out whether you are likely to need chidlcare or if one parent is going to give up work then you can look at how to budget accordingley.

For us, I desperately wanted to be a full time parent yet Hubbys salary was too low to support us entirely, so we took the decision to supplement his salary out of savings for 2-3 years. This gave me unrestricted time with our son without having to worry aboout a end of maternity leave money crisis & time without preassure to go back to work when I felt ready & to find an appropriate job. Now I work part time, evenings only when Hubby takes over the parenting so no childcare costs to consider, son gets quality one-2-one time with daddy, I get to keep my sanity & have grown up conversation without leaving my son with a paid carer & the budget (almost!) balances every month. To ge to this point we did deplete our pre-child savings considerably though. But it is whatever will work for you.

One word of warning, if you aren't even expecing yet don't get too carried away assuming free grandparental childcare (even if they say Yes!), health & chircumstances can change quickly, especailly for older people, and I have seen a few familes come unstuck this way when Granny was suddenly too old/frail etc to keep up with a 1 YO on a regular basis:rolleyes:

Well done for planning ahead, we did (I obviously should have been an accountant, I can't even leave the house without planning what will happen when I come home again!).

Good luck;)

PS : What you sholud really be asking is how do you survive the terrible twos.......It's only half past nine in the morning & we've already had one 10 minute tantrum, 3 strops & a batch of spat out yogurt! At the moment it feels like everyday is a battle top find some enjoyable moments.....!

Mutantk

I know this isn't a detailed answer but in my opinion, you can never 'afford' to have kids! If you look at on paper, it won't add up but you just manage somehow - does that sound silly, sorry I hope you can see what I'm getting at!

*Louise*

We got our mortgage based on only OH's wage before we had our first. That way when I stopped working it didn't hit us too hard.

I have stayed at home since then (we have 3 now) because money-wise it's not beneficial for me to go back to work yet. I do some voluntary work, but that's so I can have some adult convo now and then lol

OP - work out if you can manage on one wage - have a look at the bills and where you could cut back. Then look into childcare - get an idea of prices etc.

If we all waited till we could afford the kids...the world would grind to a halt :rotfl:

DKLS

Myself & OH weighed everything up and decided on the selfish option and decided to get a cat and a vasectomy instead.
The sums were frightening and would have meant we would have had to give up the things we both love doing.

galvanizersbaby

DKLS wrote: »

Myself & OH weighed everything up and decided on the selfish option and decided to get a cat and a vasectomy instead.
The sums were frightening and would have meant we would have had to give up the things we both love doing.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Sorry DKLS - just had to chuckle at you response!

*Louise*

DKLS wrote: »

Myself & OH weighed everything up and decided on the selfish option and decided to get a cat and a vasectomy instead.
The sums were frightening and would have meant we would have had to give up the things we both love doing.

That's certainly one way of sorting things!!:rotfl:

MrsTinks

Drat what does that make me with 2 cats and a dog and planning babies???

hehehe :rotfl:

devils_advocate

DKLS wrote: »

Myself & OH weighed everything up and decided on the selfish option and decided to get a cat and a vasectomy instead.
The sums were frightening and would have meant we would have had to give up the things we both love doing.

Please!! This is a family forum !!

:D:D:D

Staciep88

Lol at DKLS!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :T :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

TBH I think that have answered your question about cutting back etc. My OH's sister and partner have just had a baby and they don't have a lot of money - in fact they owe quite a bit of money but they survive. There daughter has lovely stuff without going over the top of 'cute' things that she doesnt need. Again, people on lower incomes do it, single parents do it so if you want it that bad you'll find a way