Having kids - how do you survive?!

BillScarab

I still don't see why the OP is even worrying about it. He said they could cut back on a few hundred each month so I don't see how they would have a problem.

One option of course would be to cut back on a couple of hundred a month now and invest it so you have a pot of cash when the time is right.

daphne_descends

It's really not that expensive, even with the loss of a salary. You say you can cut back by a few hundred a month - you'll find it easy then, believe me. We were doing alright pre-baby and are doing alright post-baby.

You absorb the day to day costs into your normal budget and the rest... well you adjust pretty quickly. We spend less overall now as we're not eating out much, I've no time to read so don't buy many books (!!!) and because we have to be more organised there are less takeaways, for example. I probably spend about £15 a week on doing things with the baby - swimming and a signing class for example but there are lots of free activities you can do as well, most libraries run story times or sing-a-long sessions and wherever you are I'm sure there'll be plenty of parent and baby/toddler groups. I spent more than £15 a week on lunches when I worked!

When you have a baby though you realise there's nothing you wouldn't sacrifice for them... each milestone they hit gives you such a massive high, first smile, first laugh, and so on, then you realise how fast they grow and want another - that's where the trouble starts :rotfl:

affordmylife

you live to your means. whatever salary you have it has to get spread around the mortgage, bills, kids etc.

everyone manages or goes into debt those are the options.

im managing five kids on my hubbys salary (supplemented by my part time one) and by far its harder managing the actual kids than the budget - trust me.

just juggling their activities and social calenders is exhausting. there is no time or energy left for me to even think about having a life - lol.

im lucky none of my lot are into labels (neither are we) i just dont buy into that total con. but each to their own and you will find a way to manage just like everyone else does.

good luck and forward planning.

belfastgirl23

I agree with BillScarab, start cutting back now so that you have a nest egg and also are used to living on slightly less. It isn't that you otherwise wouldn't manage, more that it would reassure you that it's possible to cut back.

Although personally I'm a fan of the vasectomy and dogs (rather than cars) route as well but it takes all sorts

amandada

*Louise* wrote: »

We got our mortgage based on only OH's wage before we had our first. That way when I stopped working it didn't hit us too hard.


If we all waited till we could afford the kids...the world would grind to a halt :rotfl:

That's what we did too-although I've always worked part time-I need it for what's left of my sanity, not just the money!
My working hours dove tail with OH's-he comes in from work, and I go out to work in the evenings. We don't need to pay for childcare-especially during the school holidays which I know can be a bit of a headache for a lot of parents.

We also went from having 2/3 holidays abroad every year, to having about 2-3 years without a holiday after we had dd(now almost 11), and last year was the 1st year we got abroad since ds, who's now 6, was 10 months old.

We've gone from having cars which were 3/4 years old, to one being 10 years old and the other being 12 years old! Neither of these things bother either of us though (thank god for having an OH who doesn't see his car as an extension to his bits!:rotfl: )

Over the years our priorities have changed and without being martyrs to the children, they are definitely our 1st priority....it does make me wonder what we used to do with all the money though!:o

MrsTinks

Actually thinking about it then it's not kids that are expensive It's the husbands :rotfl:

Corker for you - saturday we're heading back from town having bought a couple of games (one each) as a special treat - this doesn't happen often!!! And after this little bit of extravangance OH thougth he'd show me a "practical car" for when babies start joining the madhouse... Ya all wanna have a GUESS at what he wanted me to think about buying? GO on...




















Mazda 6 SPORT :rotfl:

Seriously - £19k car!
his reasoning? HUGE boot! You could get shopping AND a buggy in there no problems... So the fact it's a sports model didn't enter his head? "no never thought of that dear - look it has a Bose sound system and you'll like this: it does nearly as much to the gallon as your mini!"...

I love him... no honest I do....... I think...

amandada

MrsTine wrote: »

Actually thinking about it then it's not kids that are expensive It's the husbands :rotfl:

Corker for you - saturday we're heading back from town having bought a couple of games (one each) as a special treat - this doesn't happen often!!! And after this little bit of extravangance OH thougth he'd show me a "practical car" for when babies start joining the madhouse... Ya all wanna have a GUESS at what he wanted me to think about buying? GO on...




















Mazda 6 SPORT :rotfl:

Seriously - £19k car!
his reasoning? HUGE boot! You could get shopping AND a buggy in there no problems... So the fact it's a sports model didn't enter his head? "no never thought of that dear - look it has a Bose sound system and you'll like this: it does nearly as much to the gallon as your mini!"...

I love him... no honest I do....... I think...

pah MEN!! Bet it wasn't even a nice colour!!;)

MrsTinks

Oh I'd have gotten to choose the colour Apparently...

Of COURSE I believe him (Actually they do a nice lilac silver...)
The thing that had be giggling was that this would be my car, but he'd drive it... what with his being the 4x4 and I can have both the dog AND a buggy etc in there.

Actually he was being very sweet - he had actually put some thought into it... all the practical selling points for having this like havign more than 2 doors so easy access to the back with childseats etc, lots of room - same insurance class as mine, optional leather seats which you can wipe clean, room for practical stuff etc... he really put some thought into it - then ruined it by saying: "I would drive it so you can have mine as it has more room and you can have the dog AND a baby in it"... so why should I buy it in the first place ya daftie! Bless him!! :rotfl:

patchwork_cat

If you analyse it you will never have kids! Before we had children an older colleague told me to try and save all my salary and if we could do that then we could afford them. We could never do that! However we did manage to put away £500 a month ( we are talking 16/17 years ago!) so that probably equated to 1/2 to 2/3 of my salary. You do manage and ofcourse do get child benefit and tax credits ( if you earn under 55k for 2 I think?). As someone else has said you would be better wondering how on earth you are going to cope with 6 week colic!!!

Timmne

Wow thanks for all your responses!

I don't want to sound spoilt or picky, it's just I am genuinely bothered how parents actually afford to bring the sprogs up!

The thing I can't get out of my mind is the childcare - either lose my GF's £1500 per month income (and therefore be £1500 down, which we can't afford) or pay for childcare, spending at least £600 (which we can't afford either!)....

I like the idea above Lillibet said which is that one parent works part time in the evening while the other one looks after baby. Just a little worried we'd never see each other!

Ahhh well, there's a few years to pass yet anyway - enough time for us to pay for the wedding! :rolleyes: