how to get wife to support my budgeting activity

MPwannasavemoney

I think this is the core issue. We have looked at ways of helping to get her out of the house. It may be possible to break even on the child-care & cleaner, but getting a job that is interesting enough is an issue - she gets bored very easily or doesn't always get on with everyone which eventually becomes demotivating.

As a lifestyle choice we don't really want to put a 10month old into childcare - we want to wait until she is a bit older. We tried it with the first born and I tried to persuade her to do just 1 or 2 days a week - she went for 3 days a week and then got fed up completely (she does tend not to listen to advice but charge on ahead and learn the hard way).

Saving on one thing to spend on something nice - sounds like a good tip - except that doesn't stop us being in debt in 3 years time! Still might be able to use it sometime.

calleyw

Maybe your wife could do mystery shopping or cashback sites to get a little money of her own.

Maybe you could tell her that if things don't change that you are robbing both yours and your childrens future. Pensions and savings are boring. But explain you need to start saving for retirement and for children to go to uni.

Could you have child benefit paid directly in to bank accounts for the children. That way it is painless way to save for the children.

Yours

Calley

MPwannasavemoney

Hmm if only I could get her motivated to look at the PC for long enough in between the sleepless nights!

She thinks she knows how she can get the kitchen - cash in her endowment policy and pay for it. To my mind money down the drain as the only thing wrong with the kitchen that can't be easily repaired is the colour (even then it is all solid wood that can be painted) and there are higher priority spending items the family need, e.g.
1) my car will probably conk out in a year or so - how will I get to work without a another one - no direct bus service, no train service, hours are flexi so no one to car share with plus employer is paying a so called 'car allowance' which means I'm actually expected to have a car.
2) the ensuite bathroom has just packed in - new bathroom expenditure is not only more than we can really afford but has further depleted savings such that there is less mortgage to offset so we have higher interest payments and less money to tide us buy meaning I'll have to cash in other policies to get cash to fund the monthly shortfall.
Only issue with all of that is that all these policies were earmarked to pay off half the mortgage capital.

rchddap1

MPwannasavemoney wrote:

"if you spent as much time increasing your income as saving money we would be much better off!"

The response to this one is simple..."but if we don't spend what we have carfully we could already have a 'free' increase in income"

If you catch my drift.

MPwannasavemoney

Mystery shopping - we thought of that and I tried to encourage her to go for it but alas nothing has happened...

cashback sites - does this mean shopping online - no not as exciting as going to a shop and buying it there and then and bringing it home!

child benefit - need it to pay for the nappies, school lunches, extra gym lessons, swimming lessons etc.

Is there any point putting money aside at 4% to 5% per annum when there is a huge mortgage to be paid at 5.65% and no hope of repaying any capital until we sell up and trade down?

Retirement - I think I'll have to work until I drop - if I stop I think the kids will end up with the debt!

rchddap1

MPwannasavemoney wrote:

Is there any point putting money aside at 4% to 5% per annum when there is a huge mortgage to be paid at 5.65% and no hope of repaying any capital until we sell up and trade down?

Most certainly yes. It is always important to have a 'savings buffer'. What if you lose your job? What if the car does completely break down? What if there's a fire in your house and you need to pay for temporary accommodation whilst the insurance comes through?

Alright...some of these what ifs are far fetched, but you never know what might happen down the road. A few months salary stashed in a savings account is always a good idea.

It also helps you to relax a bit and not worry so much. My OH has relaxed a huge amount since he has managed to put a bit of cash away in savings.

MPwannasavemoney

Yes I agree - need to have money for a rainy day. Thats the advantage of having an offset mortgage - we still have some 'savings' - issue is it is rapidly depleting. Taking £x out per month to put into a savings account is not going to save me money in 3 years.
Also, putting child allowance into an account or investing it to build up say £n,000 in the future is no good if that results in a mortgage that is 1.5 times £n,000 bigger.

MPwannasavemoney

If we wanted more savings - I could get a bigger mortgage. That is not really more savings is it - but not much different from what you are suggesting for someone in my circumstances.

System

We have always had seperate accounts but about 10 years ago MrJudi started working away. As it wasnt practical for him to pay the bills, check the bank etc he added me to his account which gave me a free reign on his/our money.

When he came home once a fortnight and did his accounts we did nothing but argue about what i had spent the money on. So he set up another account to have his wages paid into and we were back to square one. Now, i get an allowance from MrJudi whereas he expects me to pay the bills, clothe the children and pay for the groceries out of it and he is generous, so i am able to save if there is any left over.

As for the kitchen, as she has no income of her own, she can hardly go into much debt herself, so as long as you dont cave in and go into debt for her.

MPwannasavemoney

tried it - hasn't changed much.