OH won't move out!

Broken_hearted

Its exactly what she is doing to him though hows that being fair, he doesn't want her but does want his home and children.

Kimberley

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Its exactly what she is doing to him though hows that being fair, he doesn't want her but does want his home and children.

He's the one who wants to leave the relationship so why should she leave her children?

elona

Why does everyone assume he wants his home and the children?

He left the home and his children - went back to Mummy - and only came back because he could not find anywhere else yet!

The OP still loves him so why is she getting all the blame?

Loretta

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Its exactly what she is doing to him though hows that being fair, he doesn't want her but does want his home and children.

Who says he wants his home and kids? OP has not mentioned that at all, he has decided the relationship is at an end, OP still loves him and I am sure would try to repair the relationship if she could but it takes two. He is only there because at the moment he has not found somewhere else to live. If he really did want his home and children he would try and put the relationship right, he is half way there already, he is not a free and single individual, just because he has gone off her at the moment he does have responsibilities and children, perhaps he should make a bit of an effort

If he has decided to end the relationship and knows that this is not what OP wants, he should do the decent thing and move out. He is being cruel by staying when it is obviously hurting OP. he may not be able to find a flat to rent quickly but he could perhaps move in with a friend temorarily, or with parents or even a cheap B&B

OP does not come accross as bitter and wanting everything she can get. She is asking how to survive this awful situation and some advice on the practical side

Loretta

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Its exactly what she is doing to him though hows that being fair, he doesn't want her but does want his home and children.

How do you know he wants his home and children?

CB1979_2

how do you know he doesn't?

if she can't handle living with him (and he has every right to remain there) then she should try and find somewhere else to go.

however it may not be plausible, so she has to deal with seeing him there.

if she's still unhappy about it, either help him find somewhere to live or sell up and then give him a bit of cash to find somewhere suitable.

simple as that

tsstss7

Looby

not sure I agree with the advice given above but if you were to take it bear in mind that as "singles" living in a shared environment you are now no longer obliged to cook, clean or care for your ex in any way other than as a flat mate.

If you do not continue to act like a wife you will at least start to feel like you are moving on with your life.

Once again I reiterate you CAN claim some benefits in these circumstances or at the very least put in a prior claim as they can take up to two months to make initial payouts.

Ignore those people who suggest you leave your kids no one seems to appreciate what we mothers do for our children and give up to do it these days!!!:mad:

Loobysaver

Loretta wrote: »

Who says he wants his home and kids? OP has not mentioned that at all, he has decided the relationship is at an end, OP still loves him and I am sure would try to repair the relationship if she could but it takes two. He is only there because at the moment he has not found somewhere else to live. If he really did want his home and children he would try and put the relationship right, he is half way there already, he is not a free and single individual, just because he has gone off her at the moment he does have responsibilities and children, perhaps he should make a bit of an effort

If he has decided to end the relationship and knows that this is not what OP wants, he should do the decent thing and move out. He is being cruel by staying when it is obviously hurting OP. he may not be able to find a flat to rent quickly but he could perhaps move in with a friend temorarily, or with parents or even a cheap B&B

OP does not come accross as bitter and wanting everything she can get. She is asking how to survive this awful situation and some advice on the practical side

Thank you to all those that have given me helpful and supportive comments.

I am not forcing my OH to leave his house and children, he has told me that is what he intends to do. It's just the fact that he is taking so long to go and the stress it is causing me when I am still hurting.

I also resent the fact that he left his parents house to come back home just cos it suited him for the time being.

I can't move on emotionally or financially until I get some closure on these hellish few months. The children although upset appear to have accepted its over especially as he has already left previously to live at his parents.

I also hate the fact I have to ask him for money.

Loretta

CB1979 wrote: »

how do you know he doesn't?

if she can't handle living with him (and he has every right to remain there) then she should try and find somewhere else to go.

however it may not be plausible, so she has to deal with seeing him there.

if she's still unhappy about it, either help him find somewhere to live or sell up and then give him a bit of cash to find somewhere suitable.

simple as that

How do you know he does?

There is nothing in OP's post to suggest he wants his house and children

he wants to end the relationship and he left the house, he is living there now because at the moment he has nowhere else. There is no suggestion that he wants to stay permanantly, he has decided to leave.

OP is a human being, she is still in love with him and is finding it difficult to carry on, looking after the children with all that involves, and is having to see him on a daily basis so cannot move on and start trying to get over a break up she did not want. She is also limited financially because he is still living there and has the uncertainty of where she will live and what she will live on and dealing with upset children. He is an adult and should be able to find somewhere else to live, at the moment he is making use of her and has no regard for the feelings of his family. Any adult would want to keep them children settled and secure at this unhappy time.

You seem to have read and answered a different thread altogether. This couple have not fallen out, Op's partner has just said he wants to end the relationship and is going to move out, this takes a little time and OP, being a caring person, is finding it difficult at the moment as anyone would.

Not everyone wants to argue and fall out about things and OP has not suggested that her partner wants her out of the house so he can have some money to spend, he seems to be a respoinsible sort of person but perhaps he does not realise that OP is finding the present situation difficult, he wanted to end the relationship so has probably mentally moved on, OP hasn't yet.

Loretta

I wrote my answer before I read post 29, but I seem to have read the situation very well