We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

OH won't move out!

My OH ended our relationship 2 months ago. He originally stayed with his parents until they got fed up with him so he moved back in "for a few days" to get himself sorted with somewhere else.

Anyway nearly 3 weeks in and he still hasn't gone. He says he's having trouble finding somewhere.

It is causing me great stress as I can't move on with my life and also I still have to use his money as correct me if I'm wrong but I can't claim extra tax credits etc if he is still living with me.

The house is in joint names so is there anything I can do?
«134

Comments

  • PasturesNew
    PasturesNew Posts: 70,698 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    If it's half his house, he's paying half the mortgage(?)/rent and so is as entitled as you to live there surely.

    Your options are one of:
    1] One of you buy the other one out at the current market rate, so one of you has to have the right income to get a full mortgage.
    2] Sell and divvi up the difference
  • CB1979_2
    CB1979_2 Posts: 1,335 Forumite
    why don't you move out then?

    he has every right to live there as you do, he can even move in his new g/f (if he has one) if he really wanted to.
  • galvanizersbaby
    galvanizersbaby Posts: 4,676 Forumite
    Loobysaver wrote: »
    My OH ended our relationship 2 months ago. He originally stayed with his parents until they got fed up with him so he moved back in "for a few days" to get himself sorted with somewhere else.

    Anyway nearly 3 weeks in and he still hasn't gone. He says he's having trouble finding somewhere.

    It is causing me great stress as I can't move on with my life and also I still have to use his money as correct me if I'm wrong but I can't claim extra tax credits etc if he is still living with me.

    The house is in joint names so is there anything I can do?

    Loobysaver - do you and OH have any children?
  • Loobysaver
    Loobysaver Posts: 764 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture
    Loobysaver - do you and OH have any children?

    Yes we have 2 children aged 6 and 10 so there is no way I am moving out/selling up if I can help it.

    He has already told me I can stay in the house but he is taking forever to find somewhere else. Also what if a couple of years down the line he changes his mind about me and the children staying in the house and he wants his equity out.

    I can't afford to buy him out but can just about manage to pay the mortgage. Therefore I don't really know where I stand. Is the equity in the house shared equally or is it different cos of the children.
  • galvanizersbaby
    galvanizersbaby Posts: 4,676 Forumite
    Think if the house is in joint names the equity would be shared equally 50/50 but if you are going to be the (PTC) parent with care this may not be the case.
    If I were you I'd see a solicitor - you can often get the first visit free - just to see where you stand
  • frugallass
    frugallass Posts: 2,320 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Must be a horrible situation to be in but, as the others have said, if it's a joint mortgage then he has a right to stay there too.

    It must be really difficult for you, especially as you have the little ones too.

    Like you said, he could change his mind in a couple of years and ask you to sell up therefore you need to think about what could potentially happen and put contingency plans in place for each situation you can think of. Unfortunately you will probably have to sell up and find somewhere for you and the little ones - whether it be private rented, council or mortgage.

    Sorry I can't be of much help but hope you get something sorted soon
  • Shambler
    Shambler Posts: 767 Forumite
    Can he afford to rent somewhere else while still paying the mortgage?

    Finding somewhere cheap/suitable to rent can be hard and takes time.
  • r.mac_2
    r.mac_2 Posts: 4,746 Forumite
    Are you really sure that there is no chance of a reconcilliation?

    If not then I would do as another poster has suggested and see a solicitor. Many will do the first appointment for free.

    Best of luck with it all
    aless02 wrote: »
    r.mac, you are so wise and wonderful, that post was lovely and so insightful!
    I can't promise that all my replies will illicit this response :p
  • floss2
    floss2 Posts: 8,030 Forumite
    You will have to have mediation as part of the divorce process. Have you taken legal advice at all - you need to clarify your options regarding the property.

    Is he in a financial position to be able to hand over a bond & 1st month's rent on somewhere, and pay the bills there, whilst still paying half the mortgage on that house? Maybe that is why he hasn't moved out yet - my ex husband did the same and came back to the spare bed for 3 weeks until he got paid & could stump up enough bond etc.
  • DeeDee74
    DeeDee74 Posts: 2,941 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    aww i truely feel for you but u can claim benefit even if he is there just not the full amount..
    i had the same problem with my ex first he wouldnt leave then finally when he decided to he had to stay till he had the money for bond and rent..
    i guess mine was a lot easyer as my place was in my name only..

    of course you can allway's private rent if he refuses to go? trouble is you will get help with house benifit but as you have a property this will have to be repayed if when the house was sold...

    wish you luck i know how hard it is

    dee x
    Ignore reality.There's nothing you can do about it.
    I have done reading too!
    personally test's all her own finds
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.3K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.3K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 601.1K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.5K Life & Family
  • 259.2K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.7K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.