Desperate, am I in the wrong place?

Forgetmenot68

Thank you Jelly Babies xx, but you wouldn't think I was brave if you saw me now, dribbling all over my keyboard. My husband has had to go and sort something out at work so I'm here alone with my wine. I'm tempted to put on some trashy TV and go to bed in an hour, I'm so tired and tired of dealing with all this today, rather than search for cheaper electricity deals. I can do that tomorrow with renewed enthusiasm - I'm just feeling overwhelmed by it all right now. I've taken on board all your ideas about selling stuff, etc though. I'm going to get photographing and on to ebay to find out when their 10p listing day next is. Three of our cards are 0% and they are all maxed out unfortunately but as we pay them off I guess we can shift from the silly% ones. I need to get a job, very urgently.

I so appreciate all you comments and support. Jackie, it is great to know that you and everyone here has been in a similar mess and can come through it smiling and supporting others like you are. I hope that'll be me next year.

katyw

I'm so sorry to hear about your sad loss FMN. Reading your thread has made me a bit emotional, but more for the fact that you sound like one incredible person who has determination on your mind. Its great that you and OH are sorting this together as a problem shared is always a problem halved, and with everyones great advice on here I know you'll both do it.

I can't offer much other than support and a virtual (((HUG))). I'll be keeping an eye out, in case I can offer any pearls of wisdom.

Best of luck xx

Oh and once the kids are in bed, you deserve that glass of wine....I might join you x

rubydoiwannabee

I can't add anything else other than to say hang on in there, it's only bl**dy money after all.

We are all in the same boat and although we have never met, the support is like it comes from your best friend ever.

xx

Forgetmenot68

mizmir, you're quite right. I have felt like a headless chicken today. I did though chase the solicitors who are trying to get compensation for me from the insurance company of the man who ploughed into my car just before Christmas resulting in horribly painful torn chest cartilage. Could be about £2000, so here's hoping. I hate ambulance chasers but I'm a runner and I couldn't run for 3 months which I hated and the man was driving at 80 on a 50 mph road without a seatbelt and would have killed me and my children (so the police said) if we'd been in a smaller car... but writing a list of income gaining/outgoing decreasing ideas is a really helpful thought, thank you.

Forgetmenot68 xx

GeorgeUK

Hi Forgetmenot.

Hopefully things won't look quite so bleak once you go over all this with your husband and work out a way to tackle it. It's the not knowing that makes it scary abd will drain you. Please remember - there is always a solution. It might not be one you particularly want but the solution will be there.

When i read your post that hubby was going to try to ask the bank for an increase on the mortgage i was a little surprised as you have already had an account closed and the wages have been transferred. While i didn't think it would be successful, i'm glad you could see from Pania's post why that would have cost you in the long term.

I hate to say it, but in the short term you will be in for a struggle. You will need to cut your expenses down to the bone and might be worth looking out for things you can sell on ebay. You'd be amazed at what sells there - even old magazines.

Are you paying the minimum on all the accounts that are 0%? I was a little surprised that you are paying £274 towards the virgin CC. I take it this isn't a new card, but one you've had some time? You'll need to be careful not to miss payments on the 0% cards - as you've discovered.
http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx

I doubt you'll be able to get any new credit anytime soon, but bear in mind that you can have about 3 searches in about 6 months before your credit score is affected. While it's not worth the money paying to see your credit scores (companies have varying criteria to work it out), it may be worthwhile getting copies of your credit reports.

Hopefully i'll soon be able to post something you want to hear, but please don't stop posting. It helps to get your thoughts down so you can take a step back and look at everything.

Hope things get better soon.
George

Keith

With regard the scooter, a cheap 50cc can be had new for £999, you'll save much more by buying a second hand one.

I bought one to save money over using the train to commute to work and it allows me an extra 2 hours a day at home.

sim11

so sorry to hear about your loss, car insurance, next time you renew try its4me.co.uk. i have used them for the last few years, have allways found them the cheapest

peb

NOthing to add other than good wishes. Please do keep posting - you will find it catharic (sp?)

Seaxwyn

Hi Forgetmenot

I was so sorry to hear of your loss, and think you are doing really well to tackle things now. I'm sure that this is the bleakest moment and the situation will start to improve now that you are tackling it.

I really sympathise with your frustrations with your husband messing up the payments. Mine is hopeless too. But I would really urge you to try to take a zen approach to this and not get wound up with him. From bitter experience I know how this kind of justified resentment can wreck a relationship.

You've had some good advice and lots of things to look into - and it seems that there are 2 things that could possibly bring in biggish lump sums - the compensation and the Endowment misselling - so it's worth putting time into those straight away.

Good luck with everything, I will follow your progress with interest.

Forgetmenot68

Well I woke up feeling still scared, but a little more positive and focussing on all the things we have in our favour. Firstly I'm healthy and young enough to work for many more years so I can bring in an income, which I haven't for most of our married life. Secondly my husband is slightly older, but till got 20 years before he retires. Thirdly,we are extremely lucky to be worth more, net, than we owe, so we have the option of selling our house and being debt free, in a more basic house. Fourthly, and I had this idea late last night, we might know of a couple of people who would be prepared to lend us the money to pay off our debt in the short term, giving us a breathing space for me to get a job and to sell our house, or work out some way of repaying the debt more gradually.

GeorgeUK, I think you're right about the mortgage, and as I think Pania said yesterday attaching more debt to out home may not have been the cleverest thing to do even if we'd been able to. we are paying the minimum on the cards - the Virgin one has been charging us interest because my husband was last with the last 2 payments - I've managed to persuade them to restore it now and not sure how that will affect our payments. Thanks for your comments, and for yours peb and sim11.

Keith, scooter seemed like a brainwave but I forgot that he needs to be able to take our daughter and her friend to the station in the mornings. Maybe the friend's Dad could take them instead? I'll look into that one... thanks.

Forgetmenot68 xx