Desperate, am I in the wrong place?

lindens

Hi I just wanted to say welcome and well done for posting, it is hard!
The fact that both of you are on board is really good and will make it alot easier.
Another good thing to do is the storecupboard challenge, write down whats in your cupbaords and see what meals can be made from those items. I was very shocked by the amount in mine. I now meal plan but still do the cupboard thing every 3 months or so!
I think you getting a job is the answer, maybe in the evenings when your OH is home to look after the kids. Even if its just in the local supermarket it will be a help.

I was sorry to read about your daughter too - that must have been very hard to cope with.

Merlot

With regards to your endownment policies, if you believe you have been misold them, reclaim on them, I did and I got £6000 back and I cashed in the policies three years before I claimed. You have nothing to lose on this, but possibly a whole lot to gain, take a look at Martins advice on this, its the pink tab at the top "reclaim thousands". I wrote a two line letter to Standard Life simply saying that I was misold this policy and within 28n days I had a cheque on the doormat.

Merlot.x.

Forgetmenot68

Lindens, thank you, that last line made me cry. It has been hard and I'm sure that because we lost her I've made much less time for the household finances which has contributed to the problem. But I can't dwell on that... the children that ARE here need us to sort out their domestic situation. xx

Cupboard/freezer very good idea! I have no idea what's in my freezer in particular, and as we have no cash at all this week I think it's going to be a voyage of discovery... Last year's ice lollies for supper again everyone?!

lindens

Awww I'm sorry I made you cry.. I'm sure you are right and that is what made you take your eye off the ball with the finances.

I have no money this week either and we've been eating out of the cupboards and freezer!!

Paige

Forgetmenot68 - I think taking into account that your family have had such a terrible time , moving house may be too much to bare for you all. I think the best step would be to talk to your lender in order to remortgage. As you say with extra travelling costs and moving costs - you may not be much better off. You have to take into account that selling the house could take 6 months or more, sometimes it takes 3/4 months to go through.
I know alot of people will disagree with this but you have to do what you feel is right for your family. The only thing is if you do remortgage you will have to make sure you are not in this posiition again - thats the hard bit. You have a lot of equity in your home but you dont want to have to do this again.
I would not let your 2 youngest kids walk home from school by themselves but they should be OK when the older one is home. Can someone help you out here ? We are lucky we live in a village and a few nearby parents are always available to cover an hour or so - we all help each other out.
HTH Paige X

Merlot

FMN68 - I would also say reading your other post, that moving house at this time possibly isn't the best thing for you, the house will hold too many memories for you as well, I think you need to consider the remortgaging route (I don't say that very often, but in your case, I think that is needed at this moment in time, just remember not to run up the debts again and cut up all credit cards).

Has your husband spoken to Charcoal, another one to try is London and Country (recommended by martin), they are fantastic, and they could help you out. Look under the mortgage section for there phone number.

With the debts cleared, you may be able to over pay on your mortgage a wee bit, therefore you could end up paying off the extra remortgage bit earlier, this advice is not for everyone, and alot of people will not agree with me).

mizmir

I understand why you wouldn't want to unsettle your children - so moving is probably not the solution in your case. But there is lots of scope in your SOA for savings and if you can increase your income a little too.... Have a look at some of the challenges here - ideas for making extra money (many from home) which are regularly bringing people in £300+ extra a month. And personally I wouldn't stop your pet insurance - you don't need the stress of worrying about money if one of your animals becomes ill or has an accident - and it can happen to the young ones as well as the older ones. Sod's law would mean that as soon as you cancelled you'd need it! Actually for 3 pets I think you have a reasonable deal there - I pay that much for one 12 year old dog (because I cancelled a policy for her and had very little choice as to where to go because of her age :rolleyes:).

Best of luck - you are doing really well with this and it is great that you are both committed to it - that helps so much.

Forgetmenot68

lindens - don't worry! Something was going to make me cry and better that remembering my daughter was it, rather than our credit card crisis!

Thank you Paige, Merlot and Mizmir. My husband, of course, hasn't been off the phone to his office yet on his day "off" but calling Charcol is top of his list to call to see what our options are. I'll get him to try your suggestion too. And I need to find out why I haven't received payment of £1800 for car accident injury back in December, try and get our tax credits backdated, find a job, then start whittling away at our monthly budget... and hope that we have enough of an allowance in our new account to pay the important direct debits which are due on our old account over the next two days.

Paige - I never want to touch a credit card ever again. I don't have any active ones - all cut up, but my husband has access to a couple still. All I have is the evidence of things I don't remember buying.... urgh.

Forgetmenot68 x

mrsbez_2

I don't want to make you cry again, but want you to know we all feel for you over your loss.
Yes i agree with the other posters that moving house may be a little too much and that things need to be done slowly but surely!
I'm sure that if you have a root round you will have plenty to sell on ebay, children clothes (obviously not ones that hurt you to part with), toys that are outgrown etc.

I think if you start with looking at what you can sell and then maybe look for a part time job you can do in the evenings. If you have the energy!!

Great advice on how to save on your expenses!! Good luck with everything, keep us posted.

Paige

FGMN68. Well Done - you have already made great steps in sorting your finances out. Its great to see that you both are committed.
Small steps seem to be the best route for me but with you both sorting things out together you will have a plan soon.
Keep reading to pick up useful tips. Have you been across to the oldstyle board yet ? They have really helped me with my shopping budget. I think I have halved it since taking the advice from there.
Good Luck
Paige X