When other people make you go grrr!!!!

Lucy1982_2

Luckystepho wrote: »

Sounds as though you have loads and loads of friends on here anyway Lucy!

Yes I do.

And I am very lucky to know each and everyone of them

Lucy1982_2

Still not heard from her and I am being stubborn and not calling her :rolleyes:

But I was chatting to a friend last night and he said that I shouldn't let it bother me so much and at the end of the day I have other people in my life that care about me.

Although he was very scared when I moaned about not getting a birthday card.... 'I don't give anyone cards, so don't be offended!' (bless him!)

But while I am still angry with her, I can't be bothered to waste the energy over it really. But still dealing with feeling let down and a bit uncared for

redsquirrel80

Aww Lucy :grouphug: Just caught up with this - is it the same friend who was a bit funny with you when she came to visit a few weeks back, didn't tell you she was there when she was? It is hard when friendships change, but unfortunately they do, and it may end up that she's someone who you just 'keep in touch' with. Keep smiling x

Lucy1982_2

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Aww Lucy :grouphug: Just caught up with this - is it the same friend who was a bit funny with you when she came to visit a few weeks back, didn't tell you she was there when she was? It is hard when friendships change, but unfortunately they do, and it may end up that she's someone who you just 'keep in touch' with. Keep smiling x

Yep the same one :rolleyes:

I am just fed up of being taken advantage of. And it is going to have to stop. Like I said yesterday she is having problems with her OH, but that is not my fault.

Part of me feels like I should call her, but I know she will make is all my fault and at the end of the day I don't have the energy for that and she owes me an apology. I gave her the benefit of the doubt yesterday as there could have been a card waiting at home but no, there wasn't.

dottyanne

Im having this situation all round me - me and my mum had words about the way she is with my brother compared to me - normally never say anything but she caught me on the wrong day! shes not spoke to me over 2 months nor has my brother - same situation with step kids at mo too = always getting walked on, time to take a stand.

newsgroup_monkey

dottyanne wrote: »

Im having this situation all round me - me and my mum had words about the way she is with my brother compared to me - normally never say anything but she caught me on the wrong day! shes not spoke to me over 2 months nor has my brother - same situation with step kids at mo too = always getting walked on, time to take a stand.

Think about how I feel then! I left my wife, got on with my life, new house, new partner and everything.

How often does my mum call? Once a month if I'm lucky and she wants something. How often does she call my ex-wife? twice a week, just for a chat. I used to think she blamed our sour relationship on the fact that I smoked. So I've quit. The fact that the ex smokes in front of the kids and in the car is fine it appears (something I've never done in my life!).

Coming back to the OPs problem, unfortunately one thing I've learned is that friendships have to be worked on (or maybe it's just me). How they acted is terrible although I'm terrible at remembering peoples birthdays. I rarely send cards and I rarely receive them, so I guess I shouldn't really complain. I do make an effort at Christmas so I don't think anyone thinks I'm tight, I'm just lazy (that's not an excuse btw).

I've got to the stage in life where apart from my OH, I probably have no real friends (I did have 1 until last year). Thing is, some of it is my fault (not keeping in touch and so on). Unfortunately, "there's nowt queerer than folk" as my ex-MIL says. If you say "Well, I'm not making the effort" and they say "well, I'm not making the effort" then it becomes a stale-mate, no-one wins and noone has any friends left.

Of the many siblings I have, probably only 1 keeps in regular contact. I'm not bitter, I couldn't really care less. I'm certainly a lot less shallow than I used to be about these things.

That reminds me - I must email some people that I haven't spoken to in a while - I find that tends to break the ice.

Lucy1982_2

Yep sometimes it all gets to much and we have enough.

Sorry to hear you have lost touch though.

dottyanne

think newsgroup_monkey may have a point - but then again like i said you sometimes have to make a stand or the cycle continues and you feel crap about the situation and get more bitter, a line has been drawn and i dont feel i am in the wrong on this occasion = however, do have feelings and i think as far as my mum goes i will prob giver her a call - but i wont be backing down and hopefully we can sort it out.

Lucy1982_2

Good for you.

I know I should do this, but I also know what she is like and the last time I took a stand it was my fault. I still how I feel. But I am not going to be talking about her problems as I want to talk about this and me for a change.

Lucy1982_2

Right I have just spoken to her.

Explained everything, how I felt. How her actions have effected me. I didn't shout or anything (which I am very impressed with myself about)

And her reaction....

'I have nothing to say to that' :mad: :mad: :mad: :eek:

Now what?