When other people make you go grrr!!!!

jinky67

friendship is a two way street.
Its not fair if one party has to do the running all the time.
I havent spoken to one of my friends for nearly 10 years because of this situation,partly caused by her OH,but I was not prepared to put up with it.
She knows where I am...and I will always be there for her....if she wants me she knows where to find me

Lucy1982_2

I guess that is true.

But I am partly worried that as I don't have many close friends I will be left alone (but really deep down, I know this isn't the case, if that makes sense)

jinky67

Listen I only really have one friend..we may not speak to or phone each other often but she is always there.
I would much rather have 1 or 2 close friends than lots of general friends IYSWIM.
Then I have my buddies on here too

Horace

Lucy1982 wrote: »

I guess that is true.

But I am partly worried that as I don't have many close friends I will be left alone (but really deep down, I know this isn't the case, if that makes sense)

You will find new friends, trust me. I can count on one hand the number of real friends that I have - one of whom I have known since I was 13 - we lost touch during our late twenties/early thirties but regained contact when we contacted each other via Friends Reunited. When we are together it is just the same - the same old mad things that we laugh about - something must be working because she has asked me to help her organise her wedding. There are other friends that I have met more recently.

I think I only have 5 real friends some of whom I have known for years and some I have met more recently and there are lots of acquaintances but I wouldn't call them friends.

Lucy1982_2

Thanks.

I think deep down I know all of this, but it's good to hear other people say it. And I do have other good friends, and I will make more. Maybe I need to leave the past behind to do it more easily.

I will see what happens, but I don't think I will be making such an effort from now on.

Which is sad really.

jinky67

Lucy1982 wrote: »

I will see what happens, but I don't think I will be making such an effort from now on.

Which is sad really.

Its not sad though..you cant keep doing all the running and getting nothing in return...you will soon find out if she really is your friend.;)

Lucy1982_2

jinky67 wrote: »

Its not sad though..you cant keep doing all the running and getting nothing in return...you will soon find out if she really is your friend.;)

I know.

We'll have to see wont we.

RoxieW

I'm feeling a bit this way too. I have my faults but I like to think I'm a generous friend - not just with money but with time and effort too.
I arrange birthday parties for friends, cook for them, will do anyone any favour - but it seems to be one sided. I really snapped at a friend recently as we were meant to go to the cinema and she cancelled on me twice . I'd got sick of feeling like the only person that matters in the friendship was her. it just made me feel completely unvalued as a friend and it does lower your self esteem. It seems to be that I'm the one often doing alot of giving but if I need to 'take' small favours seem like a big ask - so much so that I've stopped asking which is a shame as thats not what a friendship should be.
I'd have to confront her. But then it didnt get me very far with my friend. I apologised to her but she didnt return the favour. Some people are quite selfish and dont see things the same way.

Lucy1982_2

Well it is lunchtime so we'll see if she calls.

Like you I have had enough. Pre LBM I even offered to take her on holiday with me (I really needed one) to pay for it, all she needed to do was find some spending money and turn up.

She wouldn't even do that!! But then her OH didn't want her to!!!

Luckystepho

Sounds as though you have loads and loads of friends on here anyway Lucy!