HELLO From New Zealand

*Robin*

Hi Chev, :hello:

Well done on finding a job with decent remuneration, which will help you keep fit by the sound of it (hope you can ignore the 'politics') :T

Kids' education is a knotty problem.. My younger three took the IB [http://www.ibo.org/general/who.cfm] rather than GCSEs; acceptable for uni entrance internationally (and we thought IB provides a better rounded knowledge base for further study - also less differences in curriculum if/when the boys had to change schools/countries). However, it is hard work for the child, so we wouldn't have considered this option for a less motivated youngster.
Might be worth looking into; see whether any of your current local schools offer IB as an option?

ZTD wrote: »

If a major producer cuts off supply, your prices will rise as well. That's because "foreigners" will be buying your energy and raising the price for it. In the eventuality someone gets sick of the Russians continually pulling that stunt, we'll see a dash for fracking and nuclear here.

Jeez, I hope not! :eek:

jwil

Just delurking as I have a Geosciences degree - your DS would be best off with the sciences if that's what he wants to do - Chemistry Physics and Maths. Geography helps, but sciences are more helpful long term as the geology content in geography is minimal.

I think few schools offer a Geology GCSE, but he can do it at A level.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

brizzledfw

Hope things are clearing for you and yours x

chevalier

Nothing really has progressed. We are all sick here this week. And just struggling along with day to day stuff. I did think however that in terms of DS1 choosing options, then it would be better if we came back at xmas 2014 as then he would have a term to get used to school before he 'may' have to choose his options.

I asked DS2 about going back the other day, and he straight up said he didn't want to . But then he hasn't known anything than New Zealand that he remembers as he was only 4 when we came here. It seems that I am the only one who is really unhappy here.....
chev

brizzledfw

:grouphug:

Thinking of you matey and sending positive thoughts

chevalier

Reasons for going back to the UK
1) I would have all of my family back again. This would mean
2) I would much more actual support with the boys.
3) Would mean we could go out as there would be built in baby sitters - haven't been able to do that here. People offer and then when you actually ask them to do a night, they suddenly have other stuff to do.
4) I could start my Open University course again. I am not sure how many papers I have left to do but probably 6 papers worth for a degree?
5) I am sure I could get more, better paying work in the UK. I mean hell it couldn't be hard.
6) We have our own house in the UK. I am sure all you renters can empathise with not having to 'worry' about kids inadvertantly damaging someone elses property.
7) I would be happier I 'think'
8) Snow!
9) Would be able to get a cat, dog or something and not have to ask the LL if it was ok.
9) Both in laws and my mum are getting older they are all in their 70's/80s now. My MIL is quite frail in some ways. I am dreading the skype call telling us that one of the 3 has passed away, and that we didn't get to spend any time with them before that happened. And I mean proper time, not just a day at the start of end of the holiday. Doing the going round for Sunday lunch, the helping out in the garden, the running them around all that stuff. Going up to my mums for the weekend to sort out her paper mountain, or see a production with her in it (big G and S fan my mum). This I absolutely miss the most. You can't just veg when you are on holiday, there is always SUCH a demand on your time, 'to make the most of being there'. Admittedly last times we have been back are for weddings so alot of out time was ordered by getting to those and being at them.
10) The boys are missing out on being with family. I see other kids at matches, and they have their poppa or granny there, or another relative, even if the parent can't be for some reason. Family is mostly very hands on here still in terms of helping out.
11) Even if we didn't move back into our current house, we would be able to sell it and say relocate to Devon and buy a house almost outright, so not much of a mortgage. We can't get on the property ladder here. You need 20% deposit on anything other than a new build. And a decent (and I mean not flash, would need major redecoration, maybe the windows replacing) cost over $500,000 so you need over $100,000 deposit.

Reasons to stay
1) Walking along a km long beach at the height of summer and there only being 50 people on it.
2) Pukekos!
3) Being able to dry my washing outside even in the depths of winter
4) Both boys and OH are happy here, or at least content. DS1 is going through adolescence and some of his behaviour is not great. But that would probably be the case where ever he was. DS2 has even asked OH if he could become a NZ citezen.
5) OH has a job which pays ok for here. But he is 50, how easy would it be to get an IT job in the UK at his age?
6) I worry about the radicalism happening in the UK. Not just the people spouting radical islam, but radical hatred against them. Do I want the boys exposed to that.
7) Sports are real expensive in the UK. Would the boys get as good a physical education as they do here? DS1 especially does PE most days (ie some form of sport/exercise at school and sometime for a whole morning), plus scouts, swimming playing league etc etc. They are both very fit.
8) They would be leaving their friends behind. DS1 especially doesn't have many. He compartmentalises them is that odd? Ie he has two friends he hangs out with here, but doesn't bring home friends he has made at his current school. I have offered several times for him to do this, but nope. DS2 friendships are a bit more transient. And I have trouble with the parents letting him come to their houses. Most frustrating.

I really don't know which way to jump for the best. OH has come round to the idea that I am serious about going. He isn't happy about it, but also understands that I am not built to be lonely. I have no friends here. There are people that if I said that would say I am your friend. And my response would be oh yeah, well when have we gone out for a coffee, lunch, cinema, girls night, had dinner (any meal) at yours or you at mine. They would probably be quite stunned. Because 'those' things are things you do with family. But we have no family here so.....

I have asked OH to look into getting a secondment to UK with his current firm. The obvious benefit of this is that he has a job ready made to go to, and we could sell it to the boys as that we are going home 'but only for two years' (or whatever the length of the secondment was). Which might make it more palatable.

My main problem is how selfish am I being insisting we go home even when I am in a minority of 1 who wants to do it. We have been out here 6 years now (was 6 years this June just gone). And I can't see how the making friends part of it, getting ahead in terms of a house etc is EVER going to change. I am pretty sure I don't want to live like this for another 6 years. And in that time all 3 parents could be gone too. My sis has a baby (well toddler now) that I have met once, and my nephew a 6 month old baby I haven't even met yet. I SO want to be more involved with them. Hell I want to be more involved with the wider circle of cousins as well.

Well I have written it down and I don't feel any further forward. Ho hum
chev

chevalier

And so onto general stuff. Having only been there 5 minutes, I got seconded to another office for 3 weeks. They were doing a refit so I got to help with that. I also found out that not all managers in this company are t*ssers.

Back at my normal shop now. Got they don't know there *rse from there elbow they really don't. So here is the scenario. They moved my bosses boss, cos he was a jerk to put it mildly. They moved him to a store that is struggling anyway, so that is really going to improve things moving a jerk to it isn't it. THEN they appoint a new boss, who is very young but 'going places'. And we had him for a whole 4 weeks before he went - to go to head office for [STRIKE]indoctrination[/STRIKE] training. So now we have the deputy boss acting up to his role AN NO ONE DOING HIS JOB. So suddenly on the run up to Christmas we don't need 40 hours of management.

And THEN to top it all off having changed 1 manager twice since the beginning of June, with someone acting to the role for five minutes, the ultimate boss of the whole store is going to another role (remember that struggling store I told you about, well he did so well at ours (he hired the jerk manager remember)). So we will have a new ultimate boss, an inexperienced 2IC, all in the run up to the busiest time of the year. Oh and the deputy on nights is about to have surgery which might keep him off work for 6 weeks.

Planning what the heck is that? My actual boss is ok ish, but he let's himself get stressed. Ie we are two people down due to sickness, and so he expects to cover them even though it is impossible to do the WHOLE job with two people short. That sort of thing. The combination of all of the above is probably why there have been 38 people leave the night shift in the 18 months that the store has been opened. I feel a bit sorry therefore for my boss. He just gets someone even half trained and then they leave, so he has to go train someone else again etc etc. It is sodding nuts. But he doesn't help himself in that he takes it out on the staff so people don't WANT to help him. It has got to the point (and bare in mind I have only been there since the beginning of June), that on the nights I don't want to work, I switch my phone off. Naughty I know but otherwise they would be phoning me every night....

Vent over
couldn't organise the proverbial in a brewery
chev

chevalier

just bumping for any advice
chev

brizzledfw

oh lord chev..I don't know..its so finely balanced. Personally I would stick it out, but then I love NZ..and have only visited for months, not lived there for years as you have.

Re work..it is just that and not your personal responsibility..I know it probably should be as you have a clue about how to manage and can see the issues and risks to the business. But it sounds such a mess I just think switching your phone off when not at work/slated to work, staying professional but slightly distant is the way to go..

Take care

alioops78

Chev I completely understand being torn between two countries as I'm facing it myself now.

I think I mentioned before that my family emigrated to Australia back in 1982 and it took my Mum at least 8 years to feel settled and on each subsequent trip back to the UK my parents feel that they did the right thing by sticking it out although they do say that friendships are completely different in Oz than in the UK.

I am genuinely inclined to agree with them as in the UK it's easier to just ring a mate and make plans whereas in Oz it takes planning to arrange a simple night out.

If I remember correctly my parents had friends from our hometown that they first met up with and then made friends with other people when they joined up with a local church. Although they don't go to church any more they have stayed friends with a couple of people. My dad doesn't really have mates other than people he works with but doesn't see them outside of work and my Mum has joined a couple of choir's and still sees some people that she used to work with.

I have many more friends here in the UK than I do back in Oz but I am really tempted to go back there especially as I'm expecting my first child and even though I have hubby's family here, it's just not the same as my own family. In fact I would rather not have anything to do with most of his family at the moment but that's another story lol.

I'm missing out on my 2 nieces (10 & 8) and nephew (5) growing up although skype is a wonderful thing it makes me miss them even more.

I know it's probably not helping you make a decision but wanted to say you are not alone in feeling this. Men seem to be able to just carry on regardless and I think if we did move to Oz hubby wouldn't be that bothered about not seeing his family as we don't see alot of them now.

I think when you have issues in other parts of your life too (renting when you want to buy and work problems) that it exacerbates the feelings of homesickness and makes you focus more on it as it appears to be the solution to all of your problems. I know as every time things go bad at work or I'm annoyed with renting the first thing I want to focus one is how we can move back to Oz.

As for work - unless you're paid enough to care just go in, do the job and go home. I know it's easier said than done and even I don't follow my own advice but for your own sanity you need to do it.

Sorry for the ramble but hope it helps a little xx