Hyper,naughty 6 year old boy,HELP

crockpot

My son is 6 and as always been a handful.

Spoken to school nurse who says as he is good at school he can not have add or adhd or anything.

She sugested ignoring the bad= hard when he is kicking his 9 year old brother in the head! and rewarding the good, stickers and so many = a reward. It helps fo a bit then ni effect.

If problems continue I could go on a parenting course, my hubbie works an evening shift,so i would have to go alone if I could get childcare which would be hard-no family to help.

I try to keep him off sugar and E No`s, which does help, but he still bouncers.

He stared arguing as soon as I picked him up from school, picking a fight with me and his brother,then the kicking and hiting.

He was given 2 warnings to say at the table until we had all finished-he did not so he got no pudding-finished early as did not eat it all,he has taste buds which change from day to day! He then said he would get pudding himself= this ended up with 8 goes at the naughty step! in the end he had time out in his bedroom!

Just spent an hour trying to get him to sleep, all i want to do now is cry and go to sleepmyself!!

I am worried what he will be like as a teenager, if he is like this now?

He is clever,bright but is strugling at school with reading and poor handwritting, everything is boring!

What do I do, apart from calling supernanny?

Thanks

Psykicpup

crockpot wrote: »

My son is 6 and as always been a handful.

Spoken to school nurse who says as he is good at school he can not have add or adhd or anything.

She sugested ignoring the bad= hard when he is kicking his 9 year old brother in the head! and rewarding the good, stickers and so many = a reward. It helps fo a bit then ni effect.

If problems continue I could go on a parenting course, my hubbie works an evening shift,so i would have to go alone if I could get childcare which would be hard-no family to help.

I try to keep him off sugar and E No`s, which does help, but he still bouncers.

He stared arguing as soon as I picked him up from school, picking a fight with me and his brother,then the kicking and hiting.

He was given 2 warnings to say at the table until we had all finished-he did not so he got no pudding-finished early as did not eat it all,he has taste buds which change from day to day! He then said he would get pudding himself= this ended up with 8 goes at the naughty step! in the end he had time out in his bedroom!

Just spent an hour trying to get him to sleep, all i want to do now is cry and go to sleepmyself!!

I am worried what he will be like as a teenager, if he is like this now?

He is clever,bright but is strugling at school with reading and poor handwritting, everything is boring!

What do I do, apart from calling supernanny?

Thanks

I might be rtght off here but that rung a bell with a friend whos brother was dislexic(sp) he always said stuff he struggled with was boring.............any hooo....
by repeating the naughty step 9 times or whatever you have given him the attention he wanted., even if that wasnt the intention lol
I would advise 9yr BB (big Bro) to try to ignore his bad behavoir as much as poss baring real hurts obviously. & you do the same..once or twice on the step then his meal is finished & he can play quietly while the rest of you finish - after all ..if he was hungry he wouldnt be naughty - trust me he wont starve even if he only had a mouthfull or two. But going slightly hungry might help him focus
But more important - concentrate on the good behavoiur- really praise him - not just when he does what he's asked but the little things..
ie: he watched TV quietly for 3 mins while you went to the loo - praise
he passed his bro his drink - praise
he eat breakfast nicely -praise
I make a point of saying to my granddaughter when she says she's going to be good that ''I know you will'' in a really confident & proud voice & she usually is esp for me because thats what I expect & I dont mean that what I want I mean thats what I truly believe she will do!
& sweet try to rest while they are at school - they are soo tiring at those ages arent they lol

waggys

A reward chart is an excellent incentive; but you do need to change the reward every week or so - otherwise they become complacent with the same old stickers etc. Perhaps you could say if he earns x amount of stickers during the course of a week then he could choose a dvd to watch from blockbusters or he could have a friend round for tea etc etc (e.g sticker in the morning, afternoon and evening and needs to get a certain amount over the course of the week in order to achieve the 'treat'). The reward needs to be achieveable but don't give all the rewards too soon or he will have no reason to behave as he has already acheived - if you know what I mean??

You need to reward the good and try and play down as much as possible the bad behaviour (easier said than done, I know). Having said that certain bad behaviour cannot be ignored and needs to be dealt with in a way that does not give him negative attention. Children are sometimes not bothered whether it is positive or negative attention they are receiving, so long as they are receiving your undivided attention - they are winning.

Good luck!

kazmeister

I struggled for years with my daughter (she's only 9 now). She was totally hyper at home wouldnt do anything I asked her, couldnt sit still at the table for the duration of the meal etc etc but fine at school. I put most of it down to my partner (her father) spoiling her so I was always the ogre and thought she resented my authority.

I went to the parenting classes as a last resort and I soon realised that most of the problem was my way of parenting, I had lost the relationship with my daughter. They taught us to rebuild the relationship by giving them time and attention before they gave us the tools (sticker charts etc) to change their behaviour. By the time we got to that stage of the course I didnt need the tools, we had worked together to improve the situation.

If you get chance to go to a parenting group, please do. It cost me £10 each week for a babysitter but was so worth it in the end.

amandada

It's maybe a bit basic, but does he get enough sleep? I say this because I too have a 6yo boy and when he's tired he's an absolute MONSTER

crockpot

He does not like going to bed! So probably not getting enough!

Last night I had an idea, we got a `Relax kids` meditation cd when his brother was having trouble sleeping, i put than on, it took 30 mins, I felt better!

Well today is a new day, just told him how good he is for watching Pokemon nicley. Will try harder.

serena

I wonder if perhaps he is spending too much time sitting still indoors? How about trying more fresh air and exercise? Do you have a safe area where he can run round with a football or similar? My two boys struggled with all the sitting still bit at school, and although they were 'tired' from concentrating had masses of energy for running around!

Does he belong to Beavers/Cubs? That's another possibility.

shazrobo

hi crockpot, firstly big hugs,m i know how hard it is for you, i have twin boys who are very hyper, and have severe adhd.
firstly mention your concerns to your gp, and ask for a referral to a paediatrician, they are doctors that deal with childreans behaviour problems, they will assess him for adhd, and will offer you lots of support. i know what the school nurse said, but honestly they are not trained in diagnosing these things.
like i said i have twins, they are identical, daniel was diagnosed at 6 yrs old, joshua on the other hand, at a different school, who said there was nothing wrong with him even tho his behaviour was really extreme, and nothing was done. at 11 josh was excluded from high school in his first week, they sent him for the referall, (i didnt know then i could have done it thru gp), anyway he was finally diagnosed and got the help he needed.
they are 13 now, and on the whole are two of the most polite well mannered children you could meet, yes they are still very excitable and need keepin busy, but things are so much better now
big hugs and sorry this turned out to be an essay lol
shaz x

sophie131

Maybe say on a Friday night say if both your children have been good you'll take them out (cinema, swimming etc), as long as your eldest is good, take him and let your youngest see what he's missing out on. Maybe start it saying thay have to have stayed at the table all week to finish their dinner, thn each week change itso he learns something new each week such as going to bed when he's told. Even if it's only you and the eldest for a couple of weeks at least you would get some quality time away from the arguments with him?
Only an idea!

Spendless

My local school runs a parenting course, during the day. It is run by families first. Not sure if that is a local or national thing. You could ask in your area to see if something smilar runs.

Things don't have to get really bad before you go on one. It will give you differnt ideas to try and just cos method x works for family a, it doesn't mean it will work for you and they will help you see this and come up with ideas that are suited to you.

crockpot

Thanks for all that.

He does do Beavers, the 1 thing, thingers crossed he has stuck too.

we have fenched garden and walk home from school, 1/2 mile most days, try to get him to burn energy off.

He has been much better today!

just going to take it day by day and try and praise him asmuch as I can