toddler tantrums and playgroup :>(

rosielx

I should also say that I would never leave her if she is that upset. Some sessions she has been left for a while ago but recently mummy has been with her painting etc etc. Have tried to phone play group leader but as yet no luck.

Gingham_Ribbon

rosielx wrote: »

I should also say that I would never leave her if she is that upset.

That was the impression I got. I wouldn't either.

mrcow

rosielx wrote: »

I should also say that I would never leave her if she is that upset. Some sessions she has been left for a while ago but recently mummy has been with her painting etc etc. Have tried to phone play group leader but as yet no luck.

I think that's your problem. If she gets used to you staying....how are you ever supposed to leave? It's never going to work as she's got no consistancy there and every time is going to be anxious as to whether you are going to stay or not. At 2 1/2 years, she's too young to be able to get her head around that.

No wanting to leave her there upset is one thing - but taking her out for a treat after she's thrown a major temper tantrum is not a good idea. Never underestimate the powers of learned behaviour.....it will only take a couple of strops before she's learned that this is the way to press your buttons.

amandada

mrcow wrote: »

You seem to be having quite a stressful time with her. PND is bloody awful, but that was two years ago now, and you and your daughter are a team and should be working together in a positive way..

You know SO little:mad:

amandada

The OP's PND appears to be ongoing, not 2 years ago.

The way you've worded your post, it came across to me as "the PND was 2 years ago, now pull yourself together". I, and a lot of others, know that PND can go on for a lot longer than 2 years.

I'm not going to comment on the other matters you've mentioned, not because I'm "bored" with them, but because I don't think this is the time or place to discuss it. Needless to say, you have my utmost sympathy for what has obviously been a very difficult period for you x

mrcow

I'm really sorry, I've typed out a long reply twice now, the first time, my one year old daughter blew up my laptop by throwing a small pot of water over the keyboard so now nothing works, and the second time, I logged into the desktop, wrote out the reply and then it ditched my post as I'd taken so long to reply that it logged me out

I'll try again after I've collected my son from school


(Anyone know how to fix water damaged computers?)

Threadhead

I agree you should maybe leave it til after the summer holidays. even if you get things settled now, she might start all over again in september, and there's no point in fighting the battle twice.

How about childminder/dad/gran taking her to playgroup instead? You know how kids are - they play up for one person and are fine for another.

How about a treat, or a sticker chart after she stays at playgroup. Or leave her for a short time, 15 mins? and promise to come back.

I agree with the posters who say she's getting a treat after kicking off, though. Sorry!

mrcow

amandada wrote: »

The way you've worded your post, it came across to me as "the PND was 2 years ago, now pull yourself together". I, and a lot of others, know that PND can go on for a lot longer than 2 years.

That wasn't how I meant it to come across. What I meant was that her daughter is now 2 1/2 and is able to be reasoned with at this age. She is also old enough to be told off when she misbehaves. The trauma of the operation at 32 weeks is real, but a lot has happened since then. She's seen her daughter grow and become strong and confident and there is a level of confidence in your own ability that goes with this.

Recognising bad days is a good sign as it mean that there are also positive days. It's learning to build on this confidence that is going to overcome in the end.

I think that if you are susceptable to depression, then it never really leaves you (or at least the fear of it doesn't). I used the word "recovery" earlier, what I meant was "remission", but that remission is completely achievable with the right support.

Just re-reading the opening post, and I think that delaying the entry until September sounds the best idea the more I read it. If she's only 2 1/2 will she be going to school in Sept 2010? In which case, there is no rush and it may be better to wait until her friend is already going there.

Savvy_Sue

mrcow wrote: »

(Anyone know how to fix water damaged computers?)

Head over to the techie board, do a search for 'water laptop' and you'll find you're not the first ...

But in the meantime, LEAVE IT SWITCHED OFF! Do not be tempted to see if it's working again now: if you switch it on while it's still damp you will fry the circuits or something.

MYLITTLESISTERLOLA

Not sure about water-laptop, but I have a four year old who is thankfully well settled in nursery, I would say my tips would be as some of the others have said talk to her, maybe a wall chart saying Monday we do this... so she knows exactly whats in store, does she have any friends at nursery yet - if so get excited about them whats so and so doing etc, try not to get too stressed yourself as the child picks up on your feelings, do you know any of the other nursery mum's could you maybe arrange a playdate or two to build your daughters circle of nursery friends giving her confidence and making her feel more secure, is there anything she likes/dislikes about nursery, I agree with not leaving her if shes really distressed and as her mum you will know better than anyone when she ready to go it alone. I'm sure you've already though about the effect the traumatic pregnancy and the fire has had on her - this could be part of the reason for the seperation anxiety
Hope this makes sense
Good Luck
MLSL