HELP! In a pickle...

DiggingAHole_2

Hi All,

Been reading the forum with ages and finally plucked up the courage to tell my predicament and get help!

I've got no cash. Zero. Zilch. My job brings in £1200 ish a month and I was doing fine hitting my loan etc repayments, but now I just spend too much. Its not even on me, its going out with my girlfriend and I cant face up to telling her the truth about my money situation! Its impossible to end things with her as I love her, even though I know deep down that will get me out of this hole

My loans are £8500 and £800. Paying £230 on one and £40 ish on the other, these repayments I've kept up with for years but now I'm struggling.

I've credit card with £1700 on that I'm paying minimum payments on and getting huge interest every month!

Also got two payday loans, just paid one off £500 and got £200 on another. I know I shouldnt have gone down that route but I was stuck!!

Owe my mum £500, which I keep making excuses for as I cant face telling her my problems


The problem is I can't change credit cards or get a consolidation loan (which I think will solve my problems) as I'm not on the electoral roll. I doubt my credit is that bad but that stops everything. Having said that, I've now joined the electoral roll as of 2nd June but my details wont be updated by credit agencies until about the middle of the month and until then I'm rather penniless.

Do I get a big loan out and use it to pay off all my debts, then pay the repayments on that?

Do I bite the bullet and finish with my girlfriend of 4 years as she's putting me into such bad debt (suppose its my fault... not hers )

I dont want to default payments, I'm only 20 (I know, how can I be here at 20?!) as I dont want bad credit for the future ie getting a mortgage etc.
Are there lenders who will give me an unsecured debt consolidation loan, even though I have really bad credit (not on the electoral roll yet) that won't charge an arm and a leg?

If I put off payments will my credit rating be ruined forever??



Really need advice and help!

Thanks!

Toomuchdebt

Just one thing strikes me from your post..it sounds like you're looking for an excuse to finish with your girlfriend.Why don't you just tell her you need to save a bit of money and cut down on gong out a bit?

I presume you're living at home?And therefore don't have huge bills?I ask because I have 4 children and until recently was on my own with them getting £1000 in benefits a month (not including housing benefit), so I find it hard to see how someone can earn £1200 and not be able to manage even with loan repayments.I wouldn't get a consolidation loan tbh, I would just keep plugging away at the debts.Why don't you post all your outgoings so you can see exactly what you are spending on?

MrsTinks

Why on earth do you think you need to finish with her? Is she so shallow that she's only with you because you spoil her? If that is the case you'll be better off without her anyway.
It's in times of need your true friends will be known to you - same for girlfriends
Don't go down the consolidation route or you will be back here in a year with debts at £15000+ because you are still spending more than you earn.
Come clean with your mum and your girlfriend - you might just find them to be far more supportive than you seem to give them credit for...

DiggingAHole_2

I'm not looking for an excuse to end things, I'm just a very proud man and I can't find the strength to admit it to her.

She's not shallow, but from the start I have always spoiled her. I was in the army for 3 years from 16, came out about a year ago, and as I was away a lot when I came home I spoilt her rotten. Now that I'm home for good I just haven't given up that habit and its costing me a lot more!

No doubt they would be supportive, I just can't find the strength to admit the truth to them.

10past6

I agree that a consolidation loan is NOT the answer.

Listen to the people on here who will help and assist you where they can.

One thing I think you should consider, you say your spending all your money on your girlfriend, are you trying to "buy" her, I say this from personal experience, buying goods / presents / holidays for friends, etc, etc, I realised in the end I was buying their friendship and security, not easy to admit, but it's a fact.

I'm not here to judge you, but help you if I can, I was in the same position as you when I was 20, so, take a look at your own personal circumstances, do you feel insecure within yourself which is why you're spending, it's a form of buying security / friendship, again, this is my personal experience, after many, many years of treating people which created me to get into a financial mess, I woke up and came to my senses, I've learnt from those years, and I think a good look at what your spending your money on and why, may, just may help you in the long run.

On a happier note, I've been with my current partner now for 20 years, the years of buying friendship / security from so called friends are well behind me, getting into debt is one issue, but looking at what created the debts more important.

Good luck

duchy

I think you need to grow up and stop disrespecting your girlfriend !
A REAL man admits his mistakes and learns from them and moves on-a coward runs away and doesn't have the guts to tell someone he presumably cares for the truth. She may very well surprise you and be very supportive.
So....do you want help from us in how you tell her about the pickle you are in and the best way to deal with your debts.......or should we just get the cheese out - ?
Man or Mouse-You decide !!!

lucykw

Hi there- Just wondered if it is possible to transfer the balance of my overdraft with my current account to a credit card?
Thanks!

10past6

lucykw wrote: »

Hi there- Just wondered if it is possible to transfer the balance of my overdraft with my current account to a credit card?
Thanks!

Hi

I think you should create a new thread for yourself, it saves getting mixed messages within this thread.

TinkyWinky_2

My husband took the proud approach to our situation and I didn't find out how bad things were until the letter came telling me I was about to be homeless! His intentions were honourable but his approach was reaaaaaaaaaaaally bad. If she's a girlfriend worth having she'll want to help you out not have you ditch her to save your pride taking a bit of a knock. Seriously, tackle it now before it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. There's so much help and good advice here that you'd be mad not to take it. Even just having a read round should help you realise that you're far from alone. Swallow your pride soldier

DiggingAHole_2

Well... to be honest I'd rather advice on handling the debts rather than what to do with my girlfriend. I know I should tell her, but I know I won't.

10past6

DiggingAHole wrote: »

Well... to be honest I'd rather advice on handling the debts rather than what to do with my girlfriend. I know I should tell her, but I know I won't.

Well that's your decision, but think about this:

Would you like a relationship with some who's dishonest?

Relationships are about the good and BAD, she'll either be supportive or do a runner, put her to the test.

One way, bring her on here, let her view ALL the foums on the site, slowly work you way through to this forum, and take it from there, how you deal with her is your choice, it really is.