HELP! In a pickle...

basketcase

SoA is definitely a good idea - you'd be amazed at the amount the wizards on here can show you how to save!

One thing puzzling me re your girlfriend. I understand that you can't bear to tell her because you love her and don't want to disappoint her by not being able to spoil her etc (and possibly don't want to seem weak?) BUT if you love her, how can you even begin to think of chucking her without at least giving her the chance to say "You don't need to spoil me"?

If you don't tell her about the financial squeeze, what reason are you going to give for the break up? Are you going to lie and say that you don't love her any more? Or accuse her of only wanting you for the presents she gets? Or are you just going to leave her wondering what she's done and never finding out? If the boot was on the other foot, what would you prefer?

Not criticising - I'm inclined to be like that myself. So I know what to watch out for! :rolleyes:

DiggingAHole_2

A blessing from the gods!!

Just been sent a tax rebate for £395!!!

Promise I'll do my SOA soon, just beena very hectic week

Chopper98

I think this problem is far more common and prevalent than people would like to believe. The hardest thing in life to change is a habit that you have become completely accustomed to. I think the problem here is that it would be far easier to split up with her under the guise of doing something honourable (i'm not worthy of her,she deserves someone better) than it would be to admit to someone you love that you have faults. Part of the reason this is so difficult is because the choice to break up is your choice, the choice to tell her leaves you feeling vulnerable and open to judgement (and the choice about the relationship is no longer in your hands). There is no doubt that the only way you will know if your relationship will go the distance is to be honest and open, but at the same time I fully appreciate how difficult this is for you.

Much better to test the boundaries of your relationship and lose out because she wasn't the right person for you (even though it feels like she is) than to force a break up and beat yourself up for never knowing if it would have worked.

In_Search_Of_Me

Just caught his and wanted to reply before I go out...
Do post your soa so people can suggest ways to cut down...
Re the GF just a womanly perspective if I may? If I found out from a BF that he had kept something like this from me t would put he relationship in question - not because of the debt but because of the dishonesty involved. I think most people can deal with pretty much anything if they know the truth, its the lies that do the damage...obvously it is your choice but I really think you are putting alot of unecessary pressure/stress on yourself for no good reason. I know the army mentality of stiff upper lip etc but most people dont live like that...
Post your SOA, have a think & remember you are not alone....

OberonSH

Hey digging,

I know you said you didn;t want advice about GF, but you admit yourself, it's the reason you're in debt. TBH you need to deal with this mentality, otherwise it'll happen all over again. I can't tell you enough how important it is to come clean - what if she wants to buy a house with you?

I hope some of the rebate went on a debt, at least! In the meantime, start getting stuff ready for ebaying, and try to take some time out to think about your situation. Get your SOA ready, then post it up, it's sometimes easier for outsiders to see areas to cut down. Don;t foget to list the APRs of any interest-attracting debts.

You'll get there, you just nee to be strict about sitting down and listing everything.

DiggingAHole_2

Just had a phone call from SameDayCash which I used. Basically I did genuinely have my card taken by ATM so couldnt pay them back, put them off then eventually paid £500 of a £586 loan. I can't pay the rest off until a cheque clears on Friday but they spoke to me today and said basically its going to an agent if I don't pay them today before 5:15.

Theres nothign I can do and they've threatened someone will be round my house tomorrow if I don't pay them today?!

I can genuinely pay them Friday, but they won't accept it?! HELP!??

Horace

I think that they are just trying to frighten you into paying sooner.

I have little experience in these matters because I have never been in your situation - hang on and I am sure someone will be along with some advice soon.

Where is the SOA that you were going to post?

Horace

Just a helpful bump.

DiggingAHole_2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1160
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1160

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured loan repayments................. 0
Rent.................................... 200
Management charge (leasehold flat)...... 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 50
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 0
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 10
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Old phone contract...................... 20
Total monthly expenses.................. 280

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured Debt

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
AA Loan........................8200......230.......7
Abbey Loan.....................700.......41........10
HFC Bank Finance...............500.......22........20
Mum............................500.......0.........0
Overdraft......................600.......0.........0
Credit Card....................1700......35........17
Total unsecured debts..........12200.....328.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,160
Expenses (including secured debts)....... 280
Available for debt repayments........... 880
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 328
Surplus(deficit if negative)............ 552



SameDayCash said I have till tomorrow to pay, I said I can pay on Friday but they wont hear it and said it goes to an agent tomorrow who will come to my house and collect the money?!

Horace

Can someone please help DigginaHole? He is expecting a visit from a bailiff type person tomorrow about a debt that he will be able to pay on Friday.