Relationship probs.

robpw2

kenny dude tell him to do one.
You may still love him but you are always gonna be expecting him to cheat and you dont deserve that .

You will find someone who deserves you as its obviouse from what you have said this lad does not.


I get the impression you are staying with him as you fear being alone and its just easier to forgive him than deal with the thought of not having anyone

kennyparkroad

i do love him, a great deal, more than i have anyone else, we are not on eggshells but sometimes my own thoughts make me kinda annoyed at what he has done and then i get annoyed at myself for not trying hard enough to get past it.

i do fear being on my own, ive never denied that, so maybe part of it is fear of letting go incase no-one else comes along, but thats not the main reason i am with him, i want to be with him, and i am giving him that chance to be what he should have always been.

its sad i know, but i do want to make a go of this, i can only hope it will pay off!

we are in June, trust me, by Xmas if he is going to do something he will have done it, Xmas is a trying time as it seems to be when he goes nuts and does his "stuff" roundabout mine or his bday either actually which is in Oct and Nov.

the wedding is the first hurdle, August is the second, if we can get through both of them without troubles, we are further than we ever have been.

MissSaz

Hi Kenny,
You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. A lot of people would of bailed out of this relationship if their partner had cheated as many times as yours.
I get the impression you are insecure about yourself and maybe your sexuality from your comments on never going to gay pubs until you met your bf and perhaps you didn't really enjoy the 'scene' that much, BUT that doesn't mean you deserve to be treated like a door mat.

Now you have made your decision to give the relationship one last chance you should try and think about the future not the past, I know that's easier said then done and I bet you have many battles in your head about it all and you can prob get yourself angry just thinking about what he's done/may do but you seem convinced that he has changed so just ride it out and you may be pleasantly surprised.
IF he does let you down again I am sure you have the strength to move on with your life and find someone who deserves your love.
Good luck x

kennyparkroad

hey miss saz

thanks for your comments

i have zero doubts in my head that im strong enough to get rid if something happens, im going through alot of changes in life right now, negotiating contract at work/pension deal, exercising to try and get fit and the potential pitfalls i face in this relationship, if it goes pear shaped one more time, it will be the last, and ill walk away.

im not insecure about my sexuality, i know what i am, i just never enjoyed gay pubs, i went in them once or twice when i was at uni, but i just never clicked with them so dont go to them, the same can be said for all pubs if im honest, only go to them with mates

i am very insecure about my appearance/abilities, that i dont deny.

i just need to see what happens.

thanks for your kind words.

kenny xxx