Depression Support Thread

Tulip

I am off now,

chat tomorrow

Night! Night!


love and light,

Katie xxx

gillette147

WOW SF that is a wonderful result.
Congrats girlie
xxx

Stephb1986_2

Night Night Katie sweet dreams hun

Steph xx

Steph123_2

To meyore and lm, im so sorry things arent going well for you, im sending you both hugs. X

absolutebounder

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Hi.

Appointment was....let's not go there. At least I didn't start crying until the end.
They said I have moderate to severe anorexia and that I also have Borderline Personality Disorder but they can't diagnose me officially because it's not their area to diagnose in. And what are they going to do to help me? !!!! all! They're just going to refer me back to my GP. No, I'm not blowing this all out of context. Nikki was a witness. How can you, in effect, diagnose someone with two illnesses and not help them? They said that they are going to write my diagnosis etc in a letter to me and about the BPD and send a copy to my GP. Going to send a copy to Allison too. Oh the joys of Allison! As you can see when I'm hurt, my sarcasm defense mechanisms go into overdrive. I feel rejected and hurt. At the moment I'm just trying to keep myself safe because I feel so horrible and worthless.

I'm sorry.

xx

Hopefully you will take this in the supportive spirit that is meant.
What they say or do to you does not matter. it does not affect the human being that you are and you should not get upset over how slowly things move.
In life we have our realities. They may be realities of self esteem or ego. The ego realities are the problem because thaey are weak.
We are all born with self esteem No such thing as a shy newborn but then life happens children get hurt ignored etc and esteem is shaken, people come up with plan B - stories that we tell ourself about why we are still worthwhile. this is what we call the ego. This ego feeds of other peoples responses. If they pay attention to you it feels great. If you are criticized or ignored the ego panics. Its happy world is threatened and it will do whatever it can to restore the status quo. Even if that means sabotaging positive changes.
The ego constantly demands external acceptance to keep it afloat. If this doesnt happen it starts to get desperate and will eventualy crash. This is the source of much of peoples "bi polar" experience in life: great highs followed by periods of lows.
Try to find your own true self and let people see that and you will probably find that in reality that person is an even better person than the mask you project.
One reson NHS help may not be so good is that the therapists see a lot of people many of whom dont want to be there. When someone comes to me I know they are committed because it costs them money but with the NHS I think they get rather bored and just pass you from pillar to post. Even if the person did not believe you were seriously ill they should offer help and advice.
I hope this helps you understand how things work.

alba37

Sorry for the late post. Have been out today/tonight.

God, what a day here!

First the good news... Very well done SF! A MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS, I knew you'd do it! :j :j :j I'm sooooo pleased for you! :T :T :T

Steph, can you do something to help the pain? Try Bicarb or sensodyne on your teeth as well as painkillers? Did they give any advice? How do they look? <--- like this?

Anni, I really feel for you. My friends daughter has BPD and complex psychotic illnesses, and other mental health related disorders. She was diagnosed 5 years ago and is only getting help now (over the last 6 months) but to be honest she's not much better. My advice, is NOT to forget you need and you deserve help and don't give up. You need to keep pushing, till someone who cares wants to really help. If you don't keep going no one else will. It's an very unfair and sad world a lot of the time. Everyday is a fight.

Meyore hugs to you too. I know how you feel, I think most of us here, do. I just wish I had the answer for us all. I'd make us all better if I could.

KL, how did the appoint go today?

Welcome (new) Steph to the thread!

Katie, how's the balloon doing? Glad you had a nice day.

Hi RBK & Gillette, been missing you! You know you only have to post when you want, don't worry about not posting... doesn't stop us missing you though

FG, you give very good advice... and don't think you've been selfish, you've not. That's what we are all here for, to listen and help if we can.

Hi Shaz, how are you? Where did you go for dinner? It's nice to get out for a while. Well done on the crochet, I've never tried that.

QB, are you ok? Worried about you too tonight.

Hi Fairydawn, how are you? Did you have a glass of wine or 2?

Chollita, how did the docs go? How was the mystery shop? How did you get it?

Hi and Hugs to everyone, sleep well & sweet dreams. :wave:

A x x x

LadyMorticia

Welcome to the thread Steph123.

I'm back guys. I didn't want to be on my own. I feel so low and want to keep myself safe so I'm going to stay online until I'm practically falling asleep at the laptop.

Thank you for your support everyone. I struggle a lot with rejection and abandonment issues. It comes with the BPD unfortunately, and being abandoned and rejected is mostly what I've known throughout my 21 years of being on this Earth. Ok, I know it might sound like I'm wallowing in my self pity or whatever but that really isn't the case. I've had many knock backs from the mental health service and in the past I have brushed myself off and got going again but this time I think it's going to take a significant ammount of time. In my warped brain, it feels like they are saying I'm not worthy of help and that I'm not worthy of anything really. I can't do this on my own. I do have a suppotive doctor but there is only so much they are trained in and only so much help they can give.
I am angry that I was given, as I said in effect, two diagnoses and they have just left it at that, pretty much. How can you diagnose someone with something, and then not offer to help them? How can you say that there is no doubt someone has moderate to severe Anorexia and then say that you're not going to offer them any help? Other people may be able to get over that quickly or some people may not care but I do care and it has left me feeling rejected as I said previously.
At the moment I just want to scream. I have been in the mental health system for 10 years and the help I have received in that time has been poor to be honest.

xx

alba37

Anni, it's not self pity at all. The hardest part is to keep going and not give up. It's so normal to feel rejected and low when you get another big knock. It's a constant fight. But what I was trying to say, if/when we give up no one fights for us, no one helps us. (those of us with no family) We HAVE got to keep going. BPD is can be controlled with the correct meds and therapy, there is hope, you can feel better.

alba37

I'm off to bed now. Please try and rest Anni, take care & chat soon.

Night night everyone.

A x x x

Chollita

Mental health services really suck in the UK. It really needs a hell of a lot more money, hey maybe they should stop spending it on killing innocent Iraqis and spend it on the hospitals instead!

As if ...

I've suddenly hit a point of feeling angry and frustrated that I can't do more to help animals. I was looking at a website of an animal protection organisation, and reading about one cat who was picked up injured in the street, where she was being tormented by kids because she was vulnerable ... I HATE cruelty and I want to do to those kids what they did to her.

Little !!!!!!!s.

The cat shelter has posted an email asking for someone to adopt a poor little abandoned blind kitten, I so want to give her a home, but how can I when I don't have my own home (I don't think my flatmates want two cats, I'm not sure how they would feel about me adopting one permanently, and anyway I might have to move in a few months, so how can I commit to giving a cat a home), and I don't have a job or much money?

I know it sounds daft, but I feel I've let her down. I've wondered if I should let Mayo, my foster kitten, go to a permanent home (she's sure to find one soon, she's so gorgeous), and give the blind kitten a home. But then I still go back to the job/money situation, the littl'un needs a home soon ...

This seems like nothing compared with some people's problems, but it's making me feel bad, and I felt the need to talk to someone ...

BTW the mystery shop did not go according to plan, I was supposed to try on clothes, except they didn't have any for women ... so I had to wing it (no, I did not try on men's clothes!)