My sister has stopped paying 'keep', should I?

playing_with_fire

I'd make a fortune if I did, she has a lot of pretty nice stuff

BallandChain

I think your mum and dad need to toughen up. It's their house after all and the first thing that should happen is for you to move her stuff into the box room. Squeeze it in if you have to. I'm sure she will get the message loud and clear.

CB1979_2

seriously "playing with fire" take a chill pill, don't get involved as annoying as it is, you're paying your way that's all that matters.

i think you're letting this affect you far too much.

I've had it out with my parents before about my older brother & sister telling them "if they don't want my opinion, i don't want to hear them moan about my brother & sister" harsh but true and have been relatively moanfree since! lol

my parents paid £15k for each of my brother's & sister's weddings, also remortgaged their home for my siblings to use as deposits, etc.

I know full well i won't get that money spent on me for my wedding and because they have taken out £100k between 2 mortgages i won't be able to "borrow" if i ever needed to.

but alas that's life, nothing to do with me, as annoying as it is.

imagine if you had no sister then there's no benchmark on the "well she pays this" blah blah blah

playing_with_fire

Thanks CB1979, I admit it really is getting to me, I guess because it has been going on for so long.

I do feel sorry for my parents, my sister will never be able to leave the way she is going. Mind you she is relying on her boyfriend getting a place so she will probably fall on her feet in some way.

I think I will tell my parents that I don't want to hear anymore about it because it does drive me crazy.

I just have to learn to cope when she comes home with all her shopping bags and pleads poverty!!

floss2

Just remember, what goes around, comes around.....life has a funny way of catching up with people.

I still think you should prime your parents to have a sneaky casual conversation about it when eating one day......or ask if they are OK if you swap rooms, and then tell her as she dashes out to go shopping.....

At the end of the day, you have respect for your parents, and she does not. They will have equal respect for you because of that, and the fact that you pay your agreed "keep".

It is up to them how they deal with any issues created by your sister's behaviour and I think the advice to keep out of it as much as possible is very good.

By the way, I am one of those parents who believes in treating children the same - my brothers & I were all treated equally, as are my 2 sons.

belfastgirl23

I think you aren't going to make any differences here. You've made your feelings clear (and to me they're justified) and the best thing you can do now is refuse to get involved. But this means refusing to take part in any conversations about it since it does upset you. You're looking for some kind of outside validation but the important thing is that you behave right by YOUR standards. Why compare yourself to your sister? Compare yourself to who you want to be. Let your sister worry about her behaviour.

It does take an effort to stop it from bothering you but it's worth it in the end

[Deleted User]

Do your parents need the money, or is your 'keep' just to keep you in check with reality?

suki1964

I really cant understand why what your sister pays or doesn't pay should impact on what you pay?

Life isnt fair, grow up and pay YOUR way and let your sister and parents sort themselves out

Yorkshire-Lady_3

If it's affecting you that much - MOVE OUT!

As a parent, I would hate to have all this bad feeling in MY home, and would hope that both you and your sister grew up and moved on.

With-holding money from your mum is appauling, and only adding to a house which already seems over stressed.

January20

I can't believe the amount of negative posts towards the OP! It's not like it's the first time that we have read a thread where one sibling seems to be favoured over another! Put yourselves in her position for a second please! Imagine the guy who lives nextdoor to you in exactly the same house as you doesn't pay the same amount of council tax as you because the council are scared of him. How would you feel? Like it's none of your business? I doubt anyone would like the unfairness of it!

OP the only advice I have for you is keep paying up your keep to your parents. It proves to them that you are sensible and reliable. It teaches you that in life you have to pay your way and when you get your own place you will know how to budget without getting yourself in trouble. And don't sell any of your sister's stuff on Ebay as someone suggested as this would be theft.

BUT don't allow your parents to complain to you that your sister doesn't pay her way. If they won't do anything about it, you don't want to be burdened with it. It's not fair of them to do that to you. It's their worry not yours.