Should she return the engagment ring?

SugarSpun

Traditionally the ring is only returned if the bride to be is the one who breaks off the engagement, or if the ring is a family heirloom of the groom to be.

He shouldn't expect it back. But then if he wasn't sure she was right for him he shouldn't have spent 8k on a ring.

floss2

ringo_24601 wrote: »

People who spend 8k on engagement rings don't have 17k wedddings.. The way I see it: If he dumped her, she keeps it. If she dumps him, he keeps it.

"Average £17k"......Seeing as my wedding will be under £5k all in, I would tentatively guess that the wedding that won't happen would have taken up the other £12k along with their own £17k average figure!

nimbo

he has no legal leg to stand on, he gave it to her as a gift...

maybe he shold have been more certain of the girl before being so very generous with the ring...

as they say "a woman scorned..."

when my uncle and aunt got divorced, he tried to fight for all of the jewellery he'd bought her in court (they were loaded) saying that he'd bought all of the pieces as investments, and the judge point blank refused as ir seemed a to be dubious that they'd all been bought just before christmas/birthdays/anniversaries!!!!

Staciep88

It was a gift to her, and you don't return gifts bought for birthdays, christmas etc so I don't see how its any different to be honest. She should keep the ring as it was her ex that broke it all off. And also buying an engagement ring for that kind of money is a bit too much really! Each to their own but yeah, I think she should keep it

Stacey

churchrat

it was a present--I don't think if you have a disagreement with somebody you can expect them to return any of the presents you have given them. She should keep it.

kizzykizzywizzy

I think she should keep it - he broke it off, as others have said if she had broken it off, I think she should've returned it.
If it were me I'd sell it & treat myself to something nice, I wouldn't want to wear it anymore anyway!

Shineyhappy

If she broke it off or caused the engagment to be broken off then she should give it back, but I would keep it if he broke it off for no reason or did something hurtful causing me to break it off.

It will teach him to only give expensive gifts to people if he never wants them back.

Lunar_Eclipse

ringo_24601 wrote: »

People who spend 8k on engagement rings don't have 17k wedddings.

What makes you say that? It's about choice and priorities for most people, as with all things. For starters, a ring at 8k is much better value than a wedding at 17k. The 'right' ring could even appreciate in value yet the one day is 'only' held in memory and photographs and thus has a much higher cost per use. I know many people who would much rather (and have) put the money into platinum and diamonds that are used daily for years as opposed to silk/satin dresses and flowers that die.

Oh and she should definitely keep the ring. Even if she offered to give it back, he should do the right thing IMO and insist that she keep it. Especially since it was he who changed his mind although really that has nothing to do with it. People are becoming increasingly heartless and horrible these days.

[Deleted User]

Why do i say that? Because engagement rings are a show of wealth, not love. They aren't an investment, they're just money in diamond form. It's the jewelery equivalent of designer brands. Sure, some look a lot nicer than others, but you wear one brand rather than another to show that you can afford to do so.

It therefore goes that people who want to show their money will also do so with their wedding.

I think the '17k average' is a bit of an underestimate. I've been to lots of weddings where a hell of a lot more was spent than that. Just the catering costs for my wedding are 12k.. wish the whole thing was going to come up at the 'average'.

Average wedding costs = 17k
Average engagement ring spend = £1200 (according to this)

floss2

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

What makes you say that? It's about choice and priorities for most people, as with all things. .....

I took it as a generalisation..... and a fair assumption that someone who would spend such an amount of money on an engagement ring would be equally lavish on the wedding celebrations.

After all, that £17k figure is an average....and we on MSE wouldn't dream of spending that much ....so somebody must be, to get that average figure?