Wot a life's thread.

Richard_S

wot_a_life wrote: »

Hi Richard,

No OH's attitude hasn't changed at all, all left to me, I'm on my own here

Hi Wot a life,

He's really not making this any easier for you, and that's not a criticism; as I've said in previous posts my O.H was in favour of bankruptcy a long time before I'd admit that we'd got to the point of no return.

• Have you asked him what he intends to do about your debt problems?
• Has he any plans for alternative accomodation if he doesn't show the same courage as you, and address your problems now?
• Does he think that burying his head in the sand is going to make things better?
• Does he appreciate that pride is nothing compared to the health and well being of himself, and his family?

Just a few of the questions that were asked of me before I woke up to reality.

Richard

wot_a_life

Hi Richard,

In answer to your questions -
> Have you asked him what he intends to do about your debt problems?
Answer - "I'm going bankrupt"
Altho, he's done nothing to instigate this and is ignoring his creditors and running up more debt with a mobile phone and credit card.
>Has he any plans for alternative accomodation?
Answer - No
>Does he think that burying his head in the sand is going to make things better?
I think he is hoping that one of his creditors will bankrupt him as he has one pending for 12k
>Does he appreciate that pride is nothing compared to the health and well being of his family?
As long as he can afford his cans of lager every night, then he is happy, altho, he does state that there is No Way his family will be living in bed and breakfast accomodation.

Like I said, I'm on my own here

fiveyearplan

wot_a_life wrote: »

As long as he can afford his cans of lager every night, then he is happy, altho, he does state that there is No Way his family will be living in bed and breakfast accomodation.

Would he prefer his family living in cardboard boxes? I really feel for you Wot a Life. I doubt his creditor will make him bankrupt and even if they did, that would probably take ages. Its so much better to have some control over the situation.

Scarlett.1974

Hi Wot a Life,

My heart goes out to you, it really does. The feelings of uncertainty and 'what the F*** are we going to DO?' are the very hardest to deal with and I'm also really sorry and sad for you that your OH isn't being more helpful and supportive at the time you need it most

You've been through so much and you need to try and draw on the strength you've already proved you have and you WILL get through this. We will all help you as much as we can and if you ever need a virtual shoulder to cry on then please do feel free to pm me.

Almost all of us here can relate to your feelings of hopelessness and despair, we've been there but we have come through the other side And you will too, I promise <<<hugs>>>

Scarlett xx

shadowdragon

Scarlett.1974 wrote: »

Hi Wot a Life,

My heart goes out to you, it really does. The feelings of uncertainty and 'what the F*** are we going to DO?' are the very hardest to deal with and I'm also really sorry and sad for you that your OH isn't being more helpful and supportive at the time you need it most

You've been through so much and you need to try and draw on the strength you've already proved you have and you WILL get through this. We will all help you as much as we can and if you ever need a virtual shoulder to cry on then please do feel free to pm me.

Almost all of us here can relate to your feelings of hopelessness and despair, we've been there but we have come through the other side And you will too, I promise <<<hugs>>>

Scarlett xx

I second this whole heartily :T:T:T:T

Ive only been on these boards for four days and I feel 100 times better about my debt problems.

Richard_S

wot_a_life wrote: »

Hi Richard,

In answer to your questions -
> Have you asked him what he intends to do about your debt problems?
Answer - "I'm going bankrupt"
Altho, he's done nothing to instigate this and is ignoring his creditors and running up more debt with a mobile phone and credit card.
>Has he any plans for alternative accomodation?
Answer - No
>Does he think that burying his head in the sand is going to make things better?
I think he is hoping that one of his creditors will bankrupt him as he has one pending for 12k
>Does he appreciate that pride is nothing compared to the health and well being of his family?
As long as he can afford his cans of lager every night, then he is happy, altho, he does state that there is No Way his family will be living in bed and breakfast accomodation.

Like I said, I'm on my own here

Hi Wot a life,

If they're his responses then I would say you're making progress. You can complete the forms and have the money available to pay the fees, but you can't force hime through the Court doors, but if he's starting to accept the inevitable then you won't have to.

Ignoring creditors and running up more debt is not helpful, and it's not going to last much longer. The cards will get "maxed out" and limits won't be extended and then the only option will be to do what I think you know needs to be done.

There's a chance that a creditor will actually make him bankrupt; who is the creditor? HMRC, American Express, Breweries and other property companies are the favourites, but other than that it's unlikely.

I think you're quite close to getting to grips with this. For me, the frustrating part of all this, is that if you were a friend or relative in real life, I could walk you through this with very few problems, and be able to answer your queries as and when they arose; all you're lacking at the moment is the confidence, and the "real life buddy" to see you through this.

You will get through, and you'll be a stronger person for it.

Keep believing and keep posting.

Richard

sleeplessnights_2

Hi Wot a life

My OH was just the same before BR he would come home from work and just stand in the kitchen drinking and watching TV until late, he wouldn't talk about money and made me feel like a nagg!!! Whenever I tried to talk to him it would end in a huge arguement...

Then one day after I told him that I was going BR with or without him he broke and the flood gates opened, it took me buy surprise.. he cried and cried and said he was so depressed about money and that every night when he was driving home he would think "right tonight I will speak to her" but when it came to it he couldn't.... That night we stayed up all night and talked and cried and cuddled, the next day we got all our bills out and started working together, it was like a breath of fresh air we were moving..

I'm now discharged but my partner has just over 3 months to go before he's discharged, don't get me wrong its not been an easy ride, but I feel so much more positive about the future..

Please hang in there, IMHO everyone deals with things so differently especially Debt!!!

Everyone on here is so great, I don't think I would of got though it without these guys, even though I don't post much I have to log on every day just to feel sane!!!

I wish you lots of hugs and keep strong

Sleeplessnights xxxx

december

I really feel for you wot-a-life have a virtual *hug* or indeed lots of them. I think that people have given some very good advice on this thread so I'm not going to add to it but thought I'd offer my own virtual moral support, you could have your own cheerleading squad

Take care

December

debt_doctor

Hi Wotalife,

I fully understand how difficult yhings are at the mo, but can we re cap on a few things ?

You mentioned that the OH has got a new job. Does this mean you can now afford your mort payments, and save for BR fees, whilst still only paying non priorities £ 1 per month ?

It seems that there is no equity in your house. If that is the case then your house is most definately saveable in BR, whether petitioned by you or someone else.

If that is the case then we need to guide you through the process of;

1) petitioning your BR
2) Keeping your mortgage on track, and advising you what to do at court, if it happens.
3) how to go about purchasing your interest from the OR ( £ 250 )
4) Guiding you towards a happier debt free life, hopefully in your own home

Best

DD

wot_a_life

Hello All,

Thank-you so much for your kind word (and hugs) of support.

I have had another phone appointment with the cccs and they can still not give me an outcome because we are awaiting our tax credits review pack to be updated, I've tried to phone them, but they keep telling me to phone back later. So I'm still no further forward.

OH has now got some work and is bringing home £400 a week so this will have some influence on the tax credits also.

We now have some money in the bank due to missing another months mortgage payment, the question is, do we pay the mortgage or file for bankruptcy? Should we BOTH file or just one of us to begin with and see if we can manage the other debts and mortgage now that OH is earing?

I am hoping there is no equity in the house debt doctor, if it wasn't for all of the debts, we could pay the essentials and the mortgage no problem.

Just to put salt into the wounds, a bailiff arrived yesterday and levied my car, we had already submitted an N254 form for the debt, but he came anyway, I know the court recieved the forms because I requested a signature on delivery