Inviting friends children to wedding ceremony/reception

carpool72

It's definitely a matter of personal preference, but all the weddings I've been to (including my own) had children there and were all lovely. In my experience, kids are quite well-behaved in a church environment, and goody bags can help without having to cost much. It's also a nice opportunity for people to catch up with each other's families - your situation may be different, but some of my friends live far away and we wouldn't see each others children if it wasn't for things like weddings. Enjoy it, whatever you decide

patchwork_cat

I really think that children should be invited to a wedding and in fact I don't go if my children aren't invited (one reason is sitters are a problem).

However having said that it is so easy to offend people with wedding invitations. I think that if you don't want to upset people you end up inviting next door but two's, 3rd cousin's dog!

Claude_2

payless wrote:

My 14 yr old did not want to go anyway !

If I told my nearly 13 year old that she wasn't invited to a wedding because kids aren't welcome she'd be most peeved as she doesn't regard herself as a child anymore Seriously though where do you draw the line at what is a child? Surely a 14 year old can behave and enjoy her/himself at a wedding?

I think it's a shame not to invite children. Weddings are a family event in my opinion. And if children are not including in such events, how will they learn to behave in public? How will they understand the traditions their parents' friends and family are taking part into? How will they get to know their distant relatives, as it is mainly as events such as weddings, christenings and funerals that there is chance to meet up with those relatives not seen on a regular basis!

payless

Not saying he could not behave himself, and yes for many things - eating out / flights he's an adult anyway , just he would find it boring ( his words)- agree with the mixing point... but you know what kids are like ( he would not have known any similiar aged people at the wedding in question, most of my friends had kids later in life than me)

Perhaps the difference is your's is a she and mine a he !

Iona_Penny

When my son was 3 my husband was best man at a wedding 'in the north'
I was heavily pregnant and not sat at the top table and it was one of the most difficult occassions for me as he was just not interested in all the formalities.

Several years later my cousin was married and the reception at the Belfry Golf club. the kids were not invited and that was fine by me - I certainly didn't refuse the invite because of it. However last year my oh nephew got married. BIL and SIL (in their fifties) would not go as 29 yr old son not asked!!

It really should be up to the happy couple who they invite, and for everyone to be thrilled they got an invitation. I cannot believe that you would lose a friend over your kids not being invited...whose day is it anyway!

NAR

I'm getting married soon and there will be no children (our choice). We want to enjoy our reception without kids running around unsupervised and disturbing others trying to enjoy themselves. Our "problem" was eliminated by the premises, where we are having the reception, having a "no under 18's after 9.00pm rule."

bylromarha

When we got married, all kids in primary school and younger were welcome to come. Teenagers who weren't close family were not invited. Purely a budget decision.

We funded it ourselves, so were really harsh with the guest list as I had just finished a 4 year degree and OH had been working on a poorly paid job for a year. Some family disagreed with us about our decisions of who to invite and didn't come as a protest, but we only ever saw them once every 3 years anyway, so their problem if they didn't want to come, not ours. We figured we would rather have a friend there we knew and loved than auntie edna who you only every saw at the "special occasions". We also didn't invite a couple of fiance's as we had never met them before and didn't want them to come to our wedding at the expense of a close friend.

OP- The wedding is yours...this is one of many hard choices you have to make when planning it. We kept focussing on the fact it was our day and we wanted it to be for us, not to keep family happy, but us happy. We were throughly selfish about it and glad we were.

bonvonnie

the last wedding invite we got, as for Mr & Mrs, so I enquired about the kids, and they said no kids hubby ened up babysitting, whilst attended the wedding.

Jay-Jay_4

A baby was shouting the whole way through my wedding vows, fortunately it was my baby If it had been someone elses I'd have flipped!!!

It's a tricky one but it depends whether you feel it's acceptable to insist that if they make any noise during the service, the parents will immediately remove them from the venue.....or whether your willing to put up with it.

The other thing is, like many other posters have said, childcare. A lot of people will find it hard to find a sitter for a whole day and evening so you may find that people don't come.

I wouldn't be offended if my children weren't welcome at a wedding but I probably wouldn't go as I wouldn't be able to find childcare.

jellyhead

i've never been to a wedding where kids were excluded, but have been to one where there was a properly supervised creche so the kids weren't in with the adults. a friend recently married and my husband went on his own, can't remember why. there was only one child there and she was really fed up, she wanted children to play with. if you're having child bridesmaids and pages they might be bored if there aren't other kids there. my step-brother is marrying this year and has invited the children but my husband is staying at home with the baby during the actual ceremony because he'll only be 4 months old and we think it's rude to take a screaming baby to interrupt somebodys precious wedding vows. i wouldn't have given a stuff if a child had interrupted my own wedding but these are a childless couple and i think it might upset them.

if you actually know the children and give them christmas gifts etc. then maybe you'll want them there, if you don't know them then no need. if kids had been excluded from my stepbrothers wedding and we didn't have a babysitter available then one of us would go, the other would stay at home with the children. we wouldn't get in a strop and boycott it.

i loved having children at my wedding and the little girls were fab on the dance floor. the boys were antisocial and huddled round a playstation. i made the room no smoking because of the asthmatic children, that's what got people in a snit about my wedding, the no smoking rule, they had to go into another part of the building or outside. it was our wedding though and neither of us smoke. i think you should do whatever makes you happy - it's your day.