Does your partner pay you rent?

Woby_Tide

madfrenchgirl wrote:

Men change around 45ish, they live their wives and get married to a younger bimbo. Or they can go completely nuts, or they can just disappear, or lead a double life.

Is this compulsory, I can't find it in my husbands manual? What page is it on

Ember999

madfrenchgirl wrote:

Well, OH and I pay joint rent to someone else... So I dont make him pay for rent! So technically, nobody is using anybody.

I just dont believe that the "old" system that you are all cherishing would work. i guess it is just a personal experience really and I am doing everything along the way for preventing the stuff that happened to my mom from happening to me. Men change around 45ish, they live their wives and get married to a younger bimbo. Or they can go completely nuts, or they can just disappear, or lead a double life. I might sound a tad pessimistic, but I do like being hopeful, i do trust in my partner (otherwise I would not plan on buying a house with him) but no one can guarantee that I will always be able to trust him!

As Martin said: Hope for the best, plan for the worst!

I can see where you are coming from with what happened in your life with your mum etc. But I am a girl (woman if you like, but I prefer the term girl ) and I can say with all seriousness that the situations you are describing - men being total rats - is indeed very rare. If you had a peek into the real lives of us all out there, you would see that this is just as likely to be the behaviour of a 45 year old woman! In fact, if what they say is true nowadays, women do it more than men

Paranoia about what will happen in the future can happen to all of us, all you can do is ask yourself if it is likely? Not many men will discard their partner, lose their home, lose their money, lose their kids etc. (all which will happen if they do run off with another woman!) to run off with some slapper who is younger than them. Most of them realise that their balding heads, pot bellies and basically, older man looks isn't what attracts a younger woman, it's money. Pure ruthless greed and the seeking of money. Most of the men who do have affairs, run off in their 40's etc. are in high powered occupations, they have small egos and earn big money. If you look around at the houses near you and who comes out of them, you will see many people in their 40's with husbands and wives who are still there and have never even thought of running off with another woman. Statistics prove that most divorces are instigated by woman, a majority of those in their 40's.
Try not to worry about the future with your boyfriend and try not to let what happened to your mum cloud your security with your fella. Your poor mum was unlucky and your dad a prize rat. Not all men are like that hon, by a long shot because if I thought they were, I'd be gay LOL

Ember999

madfrenchgirl wrote:

Well, OH and I pay joint rent to someone else... So I dont make him pay for rent! So technically, nobody is using anybody.

I just dont believe that the "old" system that you are all cherishing would work. i guess it is just a personal experience really and I am doing everything along the way for preventing the stuff that happened to my mom from happening to me. Men change around 45ish, they live their wives and get married to a younger bimbo. Or they can go completely nuts, or they can just disappear, or lead a double life. I might sound a tad pessimistic, but I do like being hopeful, i do trust in my partner (otherwise I would not plan on buying a house with him) but no one can guarantee that I will always be able to trust him!

As Martin said: Hope for the best, plan for the worst!

May I also add - Your dear mum sounds so much better off without your dad and I am sure one day, she may feel able to meet someone else. Hearbreak at losing a loved one/partner/spouse can occur at any age and is always painful. But most of us would say on MSE that she is better off without him! is he better off without her? His girlfriend had an affair with a married man (she may do that again whilst with him!) and your dad ran off with a younger woman (he may do that again!) so really, the odds of this couple who got together by destroying other people's lives and by being liars and deceitful being happy and staying happy is very doubtful. Let that thought comfort you.

What goes around, comes around.....

As my signature says, 'What you give out comes back to thee thricefold'. Fate has a funny way of catching up with bad people, happiness is rarely theirs for the keeping

madfrenchgirl

Well, as far as i can get from the little info and gossips i got from his family (I stay in touch with the psychiatric sounds :-)), he brought her to their easter dinner BEFORE the divorce got pronounced... But the reason he left my mom was not because of her (cos he left her 2 years before the divorce got settled), but as you said because of his big money and his small ego!

You have seen right. After he left, I tried to keep in touch with my father but he stole money from my bank , asked for info and never replied, never helped me with anything, would call me to get papers for his taxes, but sending me an email for my birthday (not even a gift).

On my part, I have done enough. I have now disowned him and not returned his calls around Xmas when he wanted me to come round. When he got married to his new "young romanian lady" (in his own words), he snet me an email to tell me about it ONLY after I had heard from his sister that he brought that girl to them. When I was unemployed, he never offered me to come to his BIG house he just bought while my mom and I were sleeping in the same bed.

I am not whining about it. I am very much OK now that I dont have any contacts with him. I trust my partner, he has always been very supportive and stuff through all of this. We have come a long way, we have been together for more than 3 years but half of it was being separated by 4 hours of train or even plane + 4 hours of bus.

I do believe in him and we would like to get married someday, lets just say we are unofficially engaged, but I have always been a bit of a pessimistic, even before my dad left. I just like planning for the worst...

On the subject of my mum: every time I come home (2,5 years later) she still complains and cries about it. She tries to push me to get in touch with my dad just to get some money for my house (see my sig). And she always says that she does not want to find anyone and if he comes back for her, she would go with him. To her, all of this was a failure, her failure. Makes me wanna slap her in the face sometimes just to wake her up. I love her but I also have my life and should not have to listen about how my dad treated her so badly (even the stuff that should stay in the bedroom).

But hey, next time I am coming home will be Xmas with partner so wont have to share bed with her and listen to her.

Ok I should stop now. A forum is not a psy consultation! :-D

Just to tell you you saw right Ember!

Sorry for hijacking the thread!

RowaN

Ember999 - sounds kinda kinky when you put it like that... if only I would have fantasised that way at the time.

Ember999

RowaN wrote:

Ember999 - sounds kinda kinky when you put it like that... if only I would have fantasised that way at the time.

huh? Kinky I may be lol but I don't recall that coming out in my post...do tell me where it sounds kinky? LOL

RowaN

you said my partner was just a landlord who got extras... a good fantasy if you're into role play, no?

Ian_W

Ladies .... PLEASE :silenced:

... nuff to give an old chap a fit of the vapours!! _pale_

Ember999

RowaN wrote:

you said my partner was just a landlord who got extras... a good fantasy if you're into role play, no?

LOL I won't tell you what I enjoy whilst roll playing

Ember xx :rotfl:

RowaN

Ian sorry to disappoint but I'm not a "lady", I'm a man. I've been called worse mind you.