Does your partner pay you rent?

madfrenchgirl

Ember,

you sound exactly like my mum before my dad divorced her and left her with 32 grands for the rest of her life... Not wanting to be pessimistic either, but I earn more than OH, so why should he get that? It is not trusting people you are with, it is looking after your future: my uncle created his own business, decided his wife and him should have a "post-nup" so the creditors, in case he goes bankrupt, would not be allowed to come after what was supposedly my auntie's, so the family would still have something to live on>

Sofa_Sogood

Ember999 wrote:

What a dreadful thought, that it would be expected that a boyfriend/girlfriend would be charged 'rent' when living with you as a lover/partner etc. What is the world coming to!

Have to agree Ember.

When my daughter moved in with her (then) boyfriend, she paid 'rent' too, against our advice.

When they eventually got married, it lasted less than two years.

I can understand if a couple move in together and share everything 50/50, if possible, but not a partner charging rent.

Ember999

madfrenchgirl wrote:

Ember,

you sound exactly like my mum before my dad divorced her and left her with 32 grands for the rest of her life... Not wanting to be pessimistic either, but I earn more than OH, so why should he get that? It is not trusting people you are with, it is looking after your future: my uncle created his own business, decided his wife and him should have a "post-nup" so the creditors, in case he goes bankrupt, would not be allowed to come after what was supposedly my auntie's, so the family would still have something to live on>

Firstly, if my husband ever decided he was wanting rid of me, it would cost him a lot more than £32,000 and visa versa. You are all looking on things in terms of finance! Why shouldn't your OH get what you earn as a contribution to your household? Why? because it belongs to both of you jointly etc. As does what he earns, or it should, in my opinion.

If you are a couple/family, that is the way it should be. Ask any of the long-term married's on MSE. This new way of doing things just doesn't work! I have seen friends relationships deteriorate due to all this arguing about money, who earns what, who pays what, who owns what. Romance, love, commitment just doesn't figure in any of these relationships anymore, that is why they don't last and before you all think I am over the hill, I am not, I am round about same age as Kylie and look just as young. I just believe what you both own/have belongs to both of you and what you both earn/don't earn is the same. This tried and trusted method of doing things works in the majority of cases, it creates harmony, security and a lasting relationship.

Bestthingsinlifearefree

I agree 100% with Ember.

I am a 32 year old happily married bloke, me and my wife both work, my money is her money and her money is mine. It all goes in one pot, we pay the bills and both decide to do what with whats left over.

Any big expenditure e.g £50 - £100 plus (except surprise b'day / christmas presents etc) we would consult the other.

Luckily we both have similar attitudes to money, spending / saving priorities, goals etc which helps but thats probably because we have talked and agreed on these things.

We are one team,one economic unit if I am on 30K a year and my wife was not working we both still have equal say / control over our income and if I was not working and my wife was on 30K a year we both still have equal say / control over our money.

We are one team.One financial pot.With agreed financial priorities and responsibilities (and some cash budgetted just for fun / indiv spending money on whatever).

"for Richer or poorer" "in sickness and in health"we are in it together. Thats marriage and we would not want it any other way.


Best Things in life are free.

Ember999

Bestthingsinlifearefree wrote:

I agree 100% with Ember.

I am a 32 year old happily married bloke, me and my wife both work, my money is her money and her money is mine. It all goes in one pot, we pay the bills and both decide to do what with whats left over.

Any big expenditure e.g £50 - £100 plus (except surprise b'day / christmas presents etc) we would consult the other.

Luckily we both have similar attitudes to money, spending / saving priorities, goals etc which helps but thats probably because we have talked and agreed on these things.

We are one team,one economic unit if I am on 30K a year and my wife was not working we both still have equal say / control over our income and if I was not working and my wife was on 30K a year we both still have equal say / control over our money.

We are one team.One financial pot.With agreed financial priorities and responsibilities (and some cash budgetted just for fun / indiv spending money on whatever).

"for Richer or poorer" "in sickness and in health"we are in it together. Thats marriage and we would not want it any other way.


Best Things in life are free.

I couldn't have said it better myself! What a fantastic post to highlight the issues I have been trying to raise. Thank You.

Ember

hopefulfooluk

Thanks for your posts. When I said "partner" I meant non-married partner - of course the thought of your husband or wife paying you rent is absurd as everything belongs to you equally and everything is one pot. I'm talking about whether a girl or boyfriend moves in, lets you pay for everything, and then gets a bit annoyed when you make it clear that the house is yours and not theirs is a bit out of order!

aliasojo

I don't think it makes any difference whether a partner is a partner or a husband/wife. You are still in a relationship with each other - a serious one if you are sharing a life and where you live.

Although I can see your point of view, from your partner's perspective, it doesn't bode well for the relationship if you are marking out what's yours?

Having said that, if the relationship is a casual one then I can understand why you wouldn't want your property viewed as 'shared'.

Perhaps it comes down to how serious your relationship is....and if your partner sees it in the same way as you do?

Edited to answer original question.....I was living in my present home when I met my partner. He had his own flat therefore we each had our own bills to pay. When he moved in with me, it wouldn't have ocurred to either of us to remain completely financially independent and for one to pay rent to the other. We had a joint pot for all bills etc and a joint opinion as to what would happen to any money left over.

madfrenchgirl

Well, OH and I pay joint rent to someone else... So I dont make him pay for rent! So technically, nobody is using anybody.

I just dont believe that the "old" system that you are all cherishing would work. i guess it is just a personal experience really and I am doing everything along the way for preventing the stuff that happened to my mom from happening to me. Men change around 45ish, they live their wives and get married to a younger bimbo. Or they can go completely nuts, or they can just disappear, or lead a double life. I might sound a tad pessimistic, but I do like being hopeful, i do trust in my partner (otherwise I would not plan on buying a house with him) but no one can guarantee that I will always be able to trust him!

As Martin said: Hope for the best, plan for the worst!

Ian_W

madfrenchgirl wrote: Men change around 45ish, they live their wives and get married to a younger bimbo. Or they can go completely nuts, or they can just disappear, or lead a double life.

Only bimbo I know is the bread that stops my waisteline getting bigger, don't eat nuts for the very same reason and my only "double life" I lead is posting on MSE forums!!

Oh, .... where did it all go wrong for me?

Jay1b

Women also change you know...so its not just men!