Does your partner pay you rent?

hopefulfooluk

Quick poll. If you have a boy/girlfriend that lives in a house that belongs to you only, do you charge them rent?

No "should's" please, only answer the poll according to your current arrangement.

Ember999

What a dreadful thought, that it would be expected that a boyfriend/girlfriend would be charged 'rent' when living with you as a lover/partner etc. What is the world coming to!

Ian_W

Yes, darling a fab meal and superb night out ...

You look ravishing & devine [or handsome and dashing] ...

Your perfume [aftershave] is intoxicating ...

That wicked look in your eyes tells me my anticipation of an early night will be well rewarded with hedonistic pleasure ...

BUT first, "what about your rent arrears, when you gonna get them paid up?".

And they say that romance is dead!! :rotfl:

too_many_details

The worlds changing and you need to move with it.

No longer is it a world where the men provide and the women nurture. Nowadays we are all encouraged to be equal.

So unless you have one of these traditional/old-fashioned relationships I think you need to realise that a partner not contributing their fair share is taking you for a ride either deliberatley or naively. Deliberatley because they are selfish and why should they pay if someone else will (and won't mention it for the above reasons) or naively because they came from a background where daddy/mummy/boyfriend/girlfriend always paid that boring stuff while I bought more important things with my money - booze/shoes/gadgets, etc.

For example, my cousin owns a lovely 3 bed house (which she bought as part of a divorce settlement). She has a good job but her new boyfriend earns way more than here and has moved in. Over the last year there have been rumblings that she pays for everything - mortgage, bills, even holidays. He has large debts apparently from the past and so has no money of his own (thats what he says but no real proof except that he leads a VERY extravagant lifestyle - flash car, expensive clothes, other rented houses, etc). Of course they don't discuss it with each other because 'they are in love', 'its vulgar', 'its not romantic', etc.

Cheers

madfrenchgirl

Toomanydetails,

your cousin is a bit of an idiot, looks like this guy is taking her for a ride....

Just moved in with BF, we rent a room from a friend couple of ours. the rent is 350 a month, which makes a 175 pounds rent for each to pay. We dont pay bills, but we do split the cost of food and holidays. For petrol, I get expenses from my company for about 260 pounds a month: we put both our petrols together deduct my expenses and divide the remaining by 2 (this because we could have lived halfway between his place of work and mine). For gadgets and gift to his or my family, it is each to their own. but for gift to a common friend, it is half half.

Ember999

too_many_details wrote:

The worlds changing and you need to move with it.

No longer is it a world where the men provide and the women nurture. Nowadays we are all encouraged to be equal.

So unless you have one of these traditional/old-fashioned relationships I think you need to realise that a partner not contributing their fair share is taking you for a ride either deliberatley or naively. Deliberatley because they are selfish and why should they pay if someone else will (and won't mention it for the above reasons) or naively because they came from a background where daddy/mummy/boyfriend/girlfriend always paid that boring stuff while I bought more important things with my money - booze/shoes/gadgets, etc.

For example, my cousin owns a lovely 3 bed house (which she bought as part of a divorce settlement). She has a good job but her new boyfriend earns way more than here and has moved in. Over the last year there have been rumblings that she pays for everything - mortgage, bills, even holidays. He has large debts apparently from the past and so has no money of his own (thats what he says but no real proof except that he leads a VERY extravagant lifestyle - flash car, expensive clothes, other rented houses, etc). Of course they don't discuss it with each other because 'they are in love', 'its vulgar', 'its not romantic', etc.

Cheers

Yes, apparently from your post the world is changing, and not, in my opinion, for the better. Maybe that is why there is such a high divorce rate nowadays?

FairyElephant_2

Me & O/H (not married - living in sin!) have joint mrtgage, and split all household costs 50/50.

We pay as much as poss on monthly DD from a joint acct, into which we pay a set amount (me monthly & him weekly as that is when we are paid). Anyhting left in our personal accts is ours to do with as we wish, and nothing to do with the other person.

At his request, he now has his pension and child maintenance payments taken out of the account, and consequently he pays in that much more to cover these. He finds this easier as he then knows he can spend what he has left in his personal acct each week!

When he was married his wife used to 'manage' the budgets - she used to take all his wages, and give him 'pocket money'! When they divorced she took him for every penny she could get, and more, and he was so soft that he let her get away with it - helped by the fact that he didn't know how their finances we arranged 'cos she took care of it all! Don't get me wrong, he is an absolutely wonderful man, but far too trusting........

When we got together he would have been happy for me to take over and look after it all!!!!!! I refused though - although I do most of the budget management, I always sit down and make him look at it all, so he knows exactly what is where and how it all works.

As his maintenence payments are so high, it is me who has 'disposable income' (at the moment, until I get made redundant in December, anyway!) so I end up paying for most of the treats and holidays etc, but I don't mind - I know he would prefer to be able to pay for more, but that is just the way it is!

Romance is wonderful, I truly still believe in it, but honesty and openness are essential, especially when it comes to money!

Woby_Tide

FairyElephant wrote:

Me & O/H (not married - living in sin!) have joint mrtgage, and split all household costs 50/50.


When he was married his wife used to 'manage' the budgets - she used to take all his wages, and give him 'pocket money'!

Not exactly same circumstances (married for one) but since living together rather than 50/50 we've tended to work on the pocket money theory, i.e. we always had a set amount left each month as our to do as we want, otherwise due to wage disparity one of us would have had much more than the other. Pretty much all money went in main pot, then from that any excess after bills and what not was into a seperate luxuries/holidays pot.

In fairness if we had done the 50/50 route I can guarantee we'd have a house full of crap useless gadgets and electronic gizmos and no savings by now....

but everyone is different, that's how it all works

Ember999

As used to be the way and still in in sucessful marriages (in my opinion!) I handle the money - being the wife and hubby has pocket money! It works for us as it does for thousands of others. One manages the money, the other doesn't need to worry about it. That is my job and his is earning it. We have been sucessfully married 18 years so this does work! Splitting budgets, sharing bills, etc. etc. leads to divorce, splitting up - see the statistics! When I have worked, which I have at various points throughout our marriage, always through choice, not necessity, the money I earn goes into our savings to pay for treats, holidays, whatever we want. All money earned in our house belongs to both of us, all property, all posessions etc. We would never get divorced as we got married 'for life' but if we did, everything would be split 50/50 as it should be, regardless of who earned what. When you are a family, that is the way it is. This is just my opinion, but I certainly would never 'live' with someone, with no financial protection by law, would never 'split bills' etc. I would rather live on my own!

RowaN

When I was 17 my partner (who was in his early 30's) was charging me £200 a month (I was earning 11k pa). Yes, romance.. dead! Oh well..

Ember999

RowaN wrote:

When I was 17 my partner (who was in his early 30's) was charging me £200 a month (I was earning 11k pa). Yes, romance.. dead! Oh well..

I don't consider you had a 'partner' if he was charging you rent! You had a landlord who expected 'extras' etc. Even a 2am **** expects at least half a larger LOL

I can see why the relationship didn't last, you are better out of it