Utterly depressed

EmptyPurse

I've been keeping a note of everything I've spent since the beginning of May and have just sat down to look at it in detail. I thought I was being relatively careful but it seems that I've been overspending massively. The main problem is that when I did my SOA a few weeks I wildly underestimated the amount of money I spend in certain areas - e.g. travel. I guess this might explain why I'm in debt in the first place but it's bloody depressing. I can't even face looking at it all in detail to work out where I can/should cut down; I just want it all to go away. It all seems so hopeless and I can't imagine ever being organised/disciplined enough to get my spending properly under control. I look at how well everyone else here does once they've had their lightbulb moment and think "how do they stick to it, month after month?". I'm just no good at sticking to anything - it's the same with diets (I'm clinically obese). I start off full of good intentions and then fall by the wayside a month or so later. Is it just me???????

chilli_dog

i think some people are just natrually good at sticking to thinks, i can be an implulse buyer, lucky my wife keeps me under control.

the fact that you have kept a spending diary means you you can stick to something. You just gotta take little steps.

sophie27

Its not just you. I always underestimate what I will spend for the month and a week or so before payday I am way over my estimate. Why don't you post your SOA so you can work out how much you have left over? (See sticky at top of forum). You might be able to work out where its going and how to cut back. Do you pay a lot with your card or do you take cash out? Its much harder to spend I find when its cash!

MrsTinks

It's not just you! Honest!
I'm great at making plans, but sticking to them... well uhmmm... *cough* so moving on...
If I want to stick at something then I need a buddy - I need the mutual support to stick to things and actually do them.
OK so you overspend on travel - you've got it all written down on paper so why not put it up on here and let's see if anyone has any ideas on what can be done to reduce it. It's not because you're "crap" or anything else like that, you're human and we all have our little floors, don't let that get to you.
OK so you're larger than you want to be, I was/am too! But again I had to find a slimming buddy to help me stay motivated. Being large can have a huge effect on you when it comes to depression so maybe go along to some slimming world meetings (yes not very MSE) and see if you can find a slimming buddy there and support each other?
You can do it, just don't be ashamed of things but look at them as a challenge and set a reward at the end of it

10past6

EmptyPurse wrote: »

It all seems so hopeless and I can't imagine ever being organised/disciplined enough to get my spending properly under control.

Hi EP

Your not alone you know, were all in the same boat, hence this forum, some mangage better than others, nothing to be ashamed of.

Consider joining this thread, the members on there will give you all the advice and support you need.

Then, how about this one, or this one, again, many members will give you all the advice / help / support you need.

There's loads of threads on this site, if you have any questions just ask away.

EmptyPurse

Thanks for the support guys; guess I'm just feeling a bit down in the dumps because I've had a really rotten cold over the weekend and am feeling quite isolated atm.


I did an SOA once before and thought it was ok because I'd got really good deals on my phone/insurance etc. But it would probably be a good idea to update it now I know how much I *actually* spend on food, travel etc. I'll also have a look at the weight loss boards. I'm just really scared, though, that I'll get all enthusiastic for a couple of weeks and then things will fall by the wayside yet again. I just don't seem to be any good at sticking at anything.

chilli_dog

thats were this forum can help. when your feeling a bit down with your SOA or anything just stick a post on the forum.

poppyg_2

Empty purse, if you check out the money saving old style threads they're really good. I to have a habit of overspending, mainly buying pretty useless non-essential bits and bobs which of course all mount up but I'm starting to get some great tips from these boards

DIZZYANDSKINT

Hi
I thought I was diciplined till my debit card was refused in focus this afternoon, bank holiday ques, and me red cheeked and embarrassed, a lesson well learned that I must keep a check on my spending and balances so your not on your own in not knowing where you are financially.

A

Hopeful1

DIZZYANDSKINT wrote: »

Hi
I thought I was diciplined till my debit card was refused in focus this afternoon, bank holiday ques, and me red cheeked and embarrassed, a lesson well learned that I must keep a check on my spending and balances so your not on your own in not knowing where you are financially.

A

Geez, there's nothing worse is there? I've been there before!!

Take heart empty purse, there are many of us who have or are feeling just like you are. You're more disciplined than me - i have always avoided a 'spend diary' 'cause i know it would scare me to see my everyday spending in black and white :eek:

Rage_in_Eden

Hi Empty. For what it's worth you've at least made the effort and kept a spend diary. That is a big thing. Now what you have to do is little baby steps. Now, this is going to sound very silly, but what about doing a chart or even using the calendar and when you've done what you set out to do that day, e.g. not spend more than ..... award yourself a gold star? Pretty soon you'll be motivated by the star so will keep to whatever you want to do. Plus seeing row of stars there will really boost your confidence - trust me I know! It's all piece by piece though so don't think you have to rush at everything in one go. Look at your spending and decide which are you want to tackle first. Then do it gently. It's the only way things work for me (I have to have that visible marker there to make me do anything!!). Hope this helps. Rage x