Utterly depressed

strumpet

Hi Empty,

I tend to be a silent forum member but occasionally come out of hibernation to make the odd post.;)

I really admire that you've begun to take the first few steps towards your goal - they are the hardest ones! A journeys of 1000 miles begins with a single step remember! And Rome wasn't built in a day!

I've been trying to get debt free for longer than I care to admit.
There's always seems to be something to fork out for. :eek:However, the best thing I ever did was stop using my credit cards. I gave them to my friend and told him to guard them. Which he does with relish!!!
They are a disaster for people who
a) find it difficult to be self-disciplined:mad:
b) are impulsive:mad:

I find that it helps me to curb my spending by setting myself little games.
Even really stupid games that other folk would think I was bonkers (probably am actually but that's another thread entirely!!!). Can I eat for a week on £20? How many meals can I make out of one chicken (the record is 7:rotfl:).
They are personal to me - nobody else knows I am playing them and hence there is no embarassment.

I keep charts and graphs of my successes - I find it has to be a visual thing with me.

I wish you all the success in the world - and lean on the good folk in these forums. They are worth their weight in gold.:A

Love
Strumpet
xxx

RAS

strumpet wrote: »

However, the best thing I ever did was stop using my credit cards. I gave them to my friend and told him to guard them. Which he does with relish!!!
They are a disaster for people who
a) find it difficult to be self-disciplined:mad:
b) are impulsive:mad:

If you do not have anyone who you would like to lend your credit cards to...

Try the god old DFW card trick - freeze them. A number of DFWers have put their cards in a large bowl of water and frozen the entire thing solid. That way if they really really need the cards, they can de-frost them.

But most of the time they have had time to re-think whether they really really ned whatever it is and come to their sense before they spent it.

EmptyPurse

Rage_in_Eden wrote: »

Of course you can! You've already done the hard bit by recognising your money situation and doing the diary so the bit I call the "shaving" is a lot easier than that.:j Right, the first thing I suggest you do is revisit all your utility providers. Either switch or ring the automated payment services and try and get your monthly bill down. If you have a mobile threaten to leve them and see what they offer. Worst case scenario is you have to find another privider. Then the meal planner is the next step - check thsoe cupboards first!!! Finally you can then start looking at the other areas. Use the OS board for a vast mine of nuggets of information (see what I did there? ) and track down every last penny - it's your penny

Hey, I guess I get another gold star as I revisted all my utility providers at the beginning of May and shaved off a few pounds here and there. It's not the bills that are killing me, it's my random everyday spending that's out of control.

I've signed up for some of the challenges on the OS board to help me get my food bills under control. I'm glad WorkingFreeDFW said it took them six months to get their finances under control; I think it's going to take me about the same length of time! But, as everyone here has said, it's all about baby steps.

I've started to think about that holiday in September too. I really want to go to Bruges and know exactly where I want to stay. I think I'd need around £350-£400 for a two night stay, including Eurostar, b&b accommodation, meals and a bit of spending money. That works out at £75 per month I'd have to save, on top of getting my finances under control. And if I can save that kind of money I really ought to be putting it towards my credit cards, not on a weekend escape. Although perhaps if I scour my flat and sold stuff I never use I might have a few extra pennies.........

<heads off to continue plotting>

RAS

EmptyPurse wrote: »

I'm feeling a bit less depressed than yesterday but still completely bamboozled about how on earth I'm going to find the self discipline to get my spending under control. I know the theory, I just can't seem to get my act together at all. I look at everyone else and how determined they are to tackle their debts and then I look at my (non) efforts and feel like a complete failure.

You are you, not other people, so comparing yourself with others it a good way to beat yourself up. What matters is that you do the best you can, not that you do better or worse than others.

You mentioned previously that you are also overweight as an indication that you lack discipline.

The baby steps would be a great way forward.

One other thought that those who help people with weight/smoking and all sorts of other problems notice. It may or may not apply to you, though.

People who fail to keep to diets, stop smoking etc often work on all or nothing.

They work hard to be really strict and keep to the plan and then one day they eat something they are not supposed to, or have a fag, a drink, or too much to drink.

At which point they declare themselves and the plan a complete failure and jack it all in.

People who succeed on diets etc are not necessarily more disciplined than those who fail. The big difference is that those who succeed eat something they are not supposed to, or have a fag, a drink, or too much to drink and go " Oh S***, that was not very clever was it. I feel c&&&&. Tomorrow I will do better.

The successful dieter, non-smoker, low alcohol user and money dieter is the person who relapses and recovers their equilibrium rahter than beating themselves up, not the person who never relapses.

So be easy on yourself and take one day at a time. If you can stick with it most days, it will take effect.

pania

RAS wheres your avatar gone??

mcjordi

im an impulse buyer, i signed up for gala bingo and spent £30
winnings were £120+ but spent it all on gala (never mind)
but on the plus side ive got £20 through quidco for signing up
and ive got £20 for my breakdown cover

Rage_in_Eden

:T Good, keep going. One game I used to play when I was the breadwinner (Mr Rage tried to set up a business - nuff said) was "how far can I make this £10 last" (given that that was about a week's worth of food shopping). How many days can I have a "no spend" day. Instead of buying a mag a lunch are you able to go on the internet at work and surf those gossip sites? You will never have to buy a magazine to see a celeb falling out of a car again :rotfl:

RAS

pania wrote: »

RAS wheres your avatar gone??

Did I have one? Have never been able to see them for anyone else either?

pania

you sure did!!!!! under usercp go to edit options, then under thread display options you can tick "show avatars" eh voila!!! don't know where yours has vanished to though!!!

EmptyPurse

I'm pleased to report that the lightbulb's still flickering - yes, I know that it would be better if I'd finally reached my 100W moment but I'm just celebrating the fact that it hasn't blown out completely!

I was a bit naughty last night and spent £15 on some bathroom scales. I know I should be cutting back on non-essential spending but I want this to be the start of a completely new life - and that includes losing weight. Sure, I could lose weight without the scales but it would be rather nice to know how I'm getting on Normally I'd have spent £35+ on a really fancy pair of scales from an upmarket dept store but I popped into Boots and bought the cheapest set they had. And you know what, they actually work!!!! If I'd spent double the money I'd have still weighed exactly the same and would have been even further in the red. I think there might be a lesson in there somewhere...........