Utterly depressed

**Amy**

Was just going to ask how you were feeling Empty... RIE - great minds eh?

You are deffo not alone, i had a moment like this a while ago.

I think maybe you need a goal, other than just being debt free if that makes sense? I am wanting to buy a house, so i NEED to be debt free, i NEED to have savings, and i NEED to sort out my account/credit rating etc.

Its something i really really want, and would no way be able to do unless im debt free and take control of things. If i feel im slipping off the wagon, i try and write a list of why i need that item i am going to spend my money on, and then i write House next to it, and weigh up if its worth spending it on or waiting until i get my house! :rotfl:

Posting on here always helps as well.

xxx

pania

Hi Empty.

It's bloody scary
It Sucks,
It is a horrible way of life...

Get it out in the open and the relief at seeing exactly where you stand will counterbalance those feelings massively. Grab that bull by the horns kiddo, jump aboard the bandwagon and we can loose the feelings of dread and depression simply by doing something small to tackle the problem.
Even if that something small is looking at a car share to work or bus fairs instead of driving, you will feel so much more positive as you have done something!!!!!

We're here.... all day some of us. grab a cuppa (I have one here, plus a bowl of new potatoes, store cupboard challenge gone to far me thinks!:)) and get it down on paper. You may cry you may think oh Sh!te.... you WILL think "but i'm doing something about it...."

jak

Hi,
it is so hard to begin with because when you first have a go at budgetting, you estimate! The amounts WILL go up and down to begin with. They are BOUND to and it happens to everyone. Don't be disheartened! Just think..in a few months you'll know what a more realistic budget is..and you'll have a clearer idea about your debt repayment plan.
Chin up. You are in the right place!
Good luck and post your SOA so the experts on here can help you out...
J
X

WorkingHardDFW

You are so not alone

Overspending is how most of us and definately us got into debt in the first place. I know its simple but if you spend more than you've got then the money comes from somewhere and with us is went on an overdraft and many credit cards.

When we had our LBM last year I think it probably took us six months to get organised and to realise where we'd been overspending. Sounds daft but unless you've got something tangible to show for your money it hard to see where the money went. All those little £10's here and there soon mount up!!

We started our spending diary in January amd its been fantastic. Its helped ID what a realistic budget is. Every couple of months I've reviewed it to see where we're on track or not and adjusted the budget accordingly. Its been about learning where we can cut back and thinking about what we spend.

Motivation - its what works for you. For us its: knowing we're only 18 months from being DF now and each payday that passes brings us one month closer; Its seeing the total debt slowing tumble; its feeling the grip of debt that we've been in very slowly loosen.

Keep going, it does get better and we all have good days and bad.

EmptyPurse

Thanks for checking up on me, guys. I'm feeling a bit less depressed than yesterday but still completely bamboozled about how on earth I'm going to find the self discipline to get my spending under control. I know the theory, I just can't seem to get my act together at all. I look at everyone else and how determined they are to tackle their debts and then I look at my (non) efforts and feel like a complete failure.

I know that having a long-term goal works for many people but I have real trouble visualising anything that I really, really want. Even if I clear my debts I'll never be able to afford a house and thinking about holidays just makes me want to go somewhere now rather than waiting until I'm debt free :rolleyes:

But I guess I should be proud of myself for having kept a spending diary for the past month. It gives me a baseline to monitor my progress; I have real trouble focussing on the end goal but I might just be able to set myself a mini target of reducing next month's spending by £300. It's a small but potentially achievable target that I don't have to wait three years to reach. Does that sound silly?

HHH_2

I've found it easier to take VERY SMALL steps so that I cant possibly fail. a tiny bit of success goes a long way and motivates me. I know I could do better both with my debts and weight but like you Im finding it very hard so Im giving myself tasks which I know for sure I will succeed at. If I fail with the small tasks I start again the next day without giving myself a hard time!

**Amy**

I agree with HHH, it sounds like smaller goals, maybe daily ones would be best?

And yes you should be happy with yourself for keeping the spending diary, thats a massive step.

:beer:

pania

ok then, baby steps.... say would you like a weekend away in september? if so then look at what you can do over the next four months to save the money to do so. that way it's not an insurmountable far in the future challenge but something that is easier to visualise.

Do you currently have any cards in your posession? if so then please please do something with them now, it sounds asthough you could give into the urge to have a spend and that would make your situation feel worse. give them to a trusted family member or freeze them in a bowl of water in the freezer, that will stop any impulse spends...

Your lightbulb is flickering, we just need to get a constant bright glow!!!

EmptyPurse

Yup, the more I think about it the more I think that baby steps is the way forward. If I make a tiny bit of progress each month then eventually the final goal will jump out from behind a bush and say "you've done it!!!!"

I'd LOVE a weekend away in September. It would be soooooo fab. I wonder what I'd need to achieve in order to make it a reality? Well, I guess I'd have to get my spending completely under control first so that I'm not adding to my debts each month. I'd have to start my snowball plan on my CC's so that I'm actually tackling my debts and not just treading water. And I'd also have to save enough to pay for the weekend.

Gosh. That's a rather big list to achieve in three months :eek: I wonder if I could do it????

Rage_in_Eden

Of course you can! You've already done the hard bit by recognising your money situation and doing the diary so the bit I call the "shaving" is a lot easier than that.:j Right, the first thing I suggest you do is revisit all your utility providers. Either switch or ring the automated payment services and try and get your monthly bill down. If you have a mobile threaten to leve them and see what they offer. Worst case scenario is you have to find another privider. Then the meal planner is the next step - check thsoe cupboards first!!! Finally you can then start looking at the other areas. Use the OS board for a vast mine of nuggets of information (see what I did there? ) and track down every last penny - it's your penny