Advice please

whatdowedonext

Hi Everyone

Well started the week clear on what we had to achieve, find a rented place, sell a car to pay for upfront rent and get everyone and everything moved before oh starts his new job in July.

Then the spanner in the wroks arrived. Parents have spoken to my uncle who went br years ago and also spoke to my brother. They all think we should stay put, offer the mortgage company what we would pay for rent and hope that they accept that offer. They seem to think that they would prefer us in there paying something until house is sold.

Although we were funding most of the rent ourselves we'd asked them to be guarantors for the rent. They feel very stongly about not moving out unless we have to so we would be going against their wishes and advice, they've done so much I wouldn't want to upset them.

We were feeling so positive about getting out but I understnd what they mean by taking on a new place before disposing of the last or being repossed. So confused. Am I overeacting?? I'm sat in bed typing this with a outer ear infection which to me is more painful than childbirth. So pls excuse grammar and spelling mistakes but I'm on heavy duty pain killers!! My immune system has been shot to pieces!!

Another quicky question the mortgage is in oh name and so is cc debts if he goes bankrupt will the mortgage company come after me for the shortfall? My doh read something today and scared himself stupid!!

L & R

tigerfeet2006

If the debts are in your OH's name and not joint they will not come after you for them so don't worry. It is only joint loans that fall to the other person.

As for the house. That is totally up to you. People usually get into rented before BR because it is easier to get rented that way. It can be almost impossible to get rented with a BR on your file. If you do manage it they want so much up front and a guarantor and can be a nightmare.

If you stop paying the mortgage and save the money for upfront deposite and rent and the BR fees. Then move out to rented. Then go BR. Then get reposessed. It is probably easier but it is entirely up to you.

Have a read of Scarlett's BR diary. Will find a link for you. This is how she did it.
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=596237&highlight=scarlett+diary

Also don't forget that BR has changed greatly since your uncle went BR so you cannot compare things. Maybe get your parents on here to read and reassure them.

whatdowedonext

Thanks Tigerfeet for the message it was really reassuring to hear from you with some sound advice. Parents spoke to their close friend who went br last year and they have reassured themselves that we are going in the right direction and with a few tears later and some reassuring hugs we are back on track with everyone on board. Not that any of us want this or are taking it lightly but it's good to have the support of the whole family.

On a positive note my ear infection is improving although the ear nose and throat doctor went to task on my ear!! I've had better bikini waxes, nostril hair plucking sessions:rotfl:

Looks like we'll be moving into rented mid July spoke to m co and they will instruct solicitors at the end of wk if the arrears of 5k is not paid. They are not interested in any offers unless the arrears are cleared. Pig just flew past the window so I guess we'll be dropping off the keys to mc.

I've been selling the contents of our wardrobes on ebay and all the stuff that has been hoarded away. It all mounts up!!

Speak soon

L & R xx

tigerfeet2006

Thanks for the update. I am so glad they have been reassured, it will make life so much easier for you.

All the best with everything and you know where we are if you need anything answered.

whatdowedonext

Evening to everyone,

Having to dig deep tonight for strength and re-read our thread and all your great comments. Not sure if the anaesthetic I had on Friday is catching up with me or just it's hitting home that we are leaving our home and having to start again. I've found it so difficult today to be the strong Mummy and reassure the children about their bedrooms, leaving their friends in the street we live in and packing up their boxes. On my own I crumbled in front of them I held it together. I think if I hadn't got this bad ear infection I would feel a lot more positive. My poor doh he's developed a large sty on his eye (last time he had one he was working in a very stressful enviroment) so it reflects how he's doing at the moment.

Okay got it all out, thank you for reading my ramblings I certainly feel a bit better.

A question to you all our last electric provider before we switched we haven't paid the final bill only £95 left. They sent a door stop person today oh sent him on his way and said we'd sent a to all creditors saying my oh was not earning at present and that we'd sent out letters and a nominal payment until the situation has changed. What power do they have? Oh panicked and thought it was a baliff but i said it wasn't. He handled it well but I think it shocked him. Any thoughts on power he would have would be appreciated.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow to have a fresh outlook on things having slept on todays events. We visited the rental house today and on the whole it looks greats some of the bedrooms need a lick of paint so if we get the keys next week hopfully we'll get time to get the magic magnolia out!!

Night everyone and thank you it's been really good to re-read the thread to make sense of all this and understand what's important.

R&L

tigerfeet2006

You are doing really well my sweet ((hugs))

Well done on dealling with the doorstep collector. You did exactly the right thing. They have as much rights as the paperboy. So if he had refused to budge you could have rung the police and reported him for tresspass

Your nearly there now.

inmypocketnottheirs

tigerfeet2006 wrote: »

They have as much rights as the paperboy.

Not even! Just tell em to !!!! off.

dalip

Hope you are feeling more positive today. There will be up days and down days for a while yet,so just try to ride through them until eventually they disappear all together.How is the new job going for your OH?.D

whatdowedonext

Hi Gang

Thank you for all your messages. Tiger Feet thanks for the lovely hug, man I needed it! Saturday night was the lowest I've been so far but your words sure helped me sleep better. Sunday woke up felling so much better, same troubles just different outlook.

Dalip thanks to you as well I agree riding out the storm is the best advice focusing on where you're going and believing the calm will soon be there, get's you through.

In my pocket I am having a sandwich board with **** off!! printed on it so I don't even have to say it when they come to the door!!!

Had two different reactions today one from my son's friend's mum and one from my sister in law.

One was complete understanding and a sharing of her own experience of debt management and getting herself out of trouble and how upset she has been for us all weekend and how much she'll miss us, she's not only a friend but a neighbour and a damn good one.

The other reaction was support but limited and how not only upset they are but how angry they are for putting my father in this situation ( some of his money is in the house).

Both reactions made me cry

My sister in law is very black and white in all things and has always done the right thing in life including marrying my brother. Without them realising it I've always felt like the "black sheep" Stop me now cos I'm feeling sorry for myself and I can hear the violins in the background!!

So back on the rollercoaster again yippee arghhhhhhhhh!!!

Positive side we get the keys to the new place tomorrow and found a really good cheap deal on magnolia and gloss paint in asdas worth a look!!

Take care everyone


L & R

dalip

BLACK SHEEP BLACK SHEEP. My sister is an area bank manager for frigs sake,step brother is so far up his own !!!! he can see for miles. Money or lack of it does not not make you a bad person,so get that out of you head. You will meet many self rightious people along the bc route,just nod and pass em by. You made a mistake,yes a big one, but you are doing and paying for it, maybe not in cash but in emotions,pride, sellf esteem,guilt ect.

THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I.

A saying my mum always said to me.


Tomorrow is a whole new day.D Take care.X