My road to BR and BEYOND thread!!

blind-as-a-bat_2

Yep, as long as your OH is shown to contrbute more than 50% (wich is more than likely by the sounds) Your OR wont question it.


Just put on your I&E your income(if any including any CHB CTC etc) then as much of your OH,s incpome as needed to balence the income and outgoings.

But if ive read your situation right just list the essentials on your I&E as your OH,s contribution sound more than half so any 'luxarys' he pays for so no need to put them on your I&E;)

trulymadlydeeply_indebt!

Hi Summer1969 - and welcome!

I've read your thread and you sound exactly like me a few months back - juggling debt for what seems like an eternity, thinking I'd get through it somehow, never missing a payment on anything and then, BAM, my Dad died, leaving a great hole.

I fought tooth and nail to avoid bankruptcy and had zillions of questions and thoughts going through my head that I couldn't see the wood for the trees. I made an appt to see my doctor about something completely unrelated and she gave me some tablets to reduce my anxiety - when I got home I read up on them and they were anti depressants! I was quite shocked, but I took them anyway and I'm SOOOOO glad I did. Within a month, my head had cleared enough to see what needed to be done and a calmness to deal with it. I've now been BR 3 weeks today - only me, not OH - and it was the best thing that could have happened.

At the end of the day we all have stuff to deal with and yes, I'm 38, on anti-D's and Bankrupt and this is not where I saw my life going, but I'm here and I'll get through it. Hold this thought - It won't be forever!

I think you know what you want to do, but you just need the strength and clarity to deal with it - speak to your Doctor and I'm sure you'll get there.

Thinking of you - Onwards and upwards.

TMD xx

Summer1969

trulymadlydeeply_indebt! wrote: »

Hi Summer1969 - and welcome!

I've read your thread and you sound exactly like me a few months back - juggling debt for what seems like an eternity, thinking I'd get through it somehow, never missing a payment on anything and then, BAM, my Dad died, leaving a great hole.

I fought tooth and nail to avoid bankruptcy and had zillions of questions and thoughts going through my head that I couldn't see the wood for the trees. I made an appt to see my doctor about something completely unrelated and she gave me some tablets to reduce my anxiety - when I got home I read up on them and they were anti depressants! I was quite shocked, but I took them anyway and I'm SOOOOO glad I did. Within a month, my head had cleared enough to see what needed to be done and a calmness to deal with it. I've now been BR 3 weeks today - only me, not OH - and it was the best thing that could have happened.

At the end of the day we all have stuff to deal with and yes, I'm 38, on anti-D's and Bankrupt and this is not where I saw my life going, but I'm here and I'll get through it. Hold this thought - It won't be forever!

I think you know what you want to do, but you just need the strength and clarity to deal with it - speak to your Doctor and I'm sure you'll get there.

Thinking of you - Onwards and upwards.

TMD xx

Thank you SO much for posting TMD! So sorry to hear about your dad, I bet he is really proud of what you have achieved!

Well saw the doctor, I love my doctor, she is Swiss so is obviously neutral and doesn't judge. Told myself I wouldn't cry as I went in, and was doing ok, til I told her that mum had gone...she handed me a tissue, then twigged who I was and who mum was and said how shocked she had been cos mum was so young looking, acting, vibrant etc....told her about me probably going BR soon, my panic attacks etc......anyhoo, she has prescribed me some mild depressants, a 2 month course. Said it will help me get through the next few weeks, which obviously are the weeks I am most worried about. She said, obviously, it is still grief as well, combined with everything else. Then I will go back and see her and hopefully won't need them anymore, fingers crossed. I will beat this!! :j Felt weird going into the chemist, as it was a controlled drug and I hadn't taken them before, chemist had to come out and see me. I've never taken a controlled drug before and I felt a bit embarrassed, don't know why! She told me I might feel sick to begin with...great! Mind you, I have been sick with worry for months! And they will take 2 weeks to kick in. I know what I am like, I will now google what she has prescribed me, I always have to know the ins and outs of an ants ar&ehole, which isn't always a good thing. :rotfl:

Need to cancel the DDs to my creditors today!! :eek: Nervous about that, but we need the extra cash next month desperately! I am hoping, just by cancelling them online, I won't need to do anything else.

Thanks everyone for keeping an interest in the thread, I can't begin to tell you all how much your posts have helped me, I am always telling OH how great everyone is on here.

I will keep you all posted, if for no other reason, that it helps me think a bit more clearly to write it all down.

Have a good day everyone. Though I will probably be back soon with more questions. :D

Summer1969

Well I have just cancelled my DDs to my creditors online. I was shaking as I pressed each button, what a wuss. :rolleyes: So thats about £1300 not coming out at the beginning of this month so we can put that to one side and also be able to eat next month. I think I am going to change my home number, it doesn't bother me and OH doing this, we have always had a lot of cold callers. I know you can get caller display but I still don't want to always be looking at the phone, would just rather change it. So will ring Virgin in a mo.

Going to download the BR forms and start looking at them and hopefully can get the Debt Specialist at the CAB to actually help me fill them in, so can get cracking straight after that and ring up the Courts for a date.

Blimey, its all going quite quickly, but thats good, we have thought it through extensively, I have all the info, seems silly to hang about, its important for my health and for our future to get things sorted.

ClaireLR

Hi Summer!

Just catching up on this thread - you sound so much different in such a short space of time, its as if youre suddenly a different person!

Well done on going to see your GP - I think that in itself is a good start, it will help you sort your head out and stay on top of things. Depression is a horrible thing, Ive been on anti ds a few times now as well as tablets for panic disorder and anxiety at some point or another over the past 7 years. Mine also started after my mom died, although it wasnt sudden (she had cancer and had been ill for 4 years) it still came as a shock and it takes time to deal with these things. Dont be to hard on yourself, cry when you need to (it really does help!) and deal with it in the best way you can.

Thats great that you ve cancelled your dds too, it will give you some peace of mind at the end of the month when you have enough cash to pay for your BR. Dont feel bad about it - its whats needs to be done in order for you to get to where you need to be

Really well done youve done so much in such a small amount of time :T

Summer1969

Thank you hun. Sorry to hear about your mum. xx I have reading up on my prescription...wish I hadn't now! lol Says you feel crap for the first month then it kicks in. Perhaps I should start taking it until after I go BR? I really don't want to be having side effects as well as dealing with everything?? Not sure. I do have Bach Rescue Remedy if I get an anxiety attack again, in the meantime.

Summer1969

I have just changed our home number. It will have changed by this time tomorrow. How very liberating.

Musn't forget to tell family and friends!

ClaireLR

Yay well done you!

I would start taking them as soon as possible - remember that side effects don't affect everyone! You might just have got over the icky part (if you even get the icky part) by the time you need to have. I wouldn't put off taking them - your doc gave them to you because you need them. If you do start to feel really ill on them you can always go back and they might change them for something else. Just for the record I've never suffered any side effects when taking them, but I did have some horribele side effects when coming off some, that was my own fault though because I just stopped taking them instead of weaning myself off them with my GP's support. Just didn't think I needed them anymore which was stupid because I did.

Hope your feeling better now you have a few things sorted.

trulymadlydeeply_indebt!

Hi Summer

You sound so positive today. I agree that you should get on with taking the tablets if only to calm you down and clear your head.

The only side effect with mine has been the ability to knock me out at night. I take 1 when I come in from work at 10.30 and by midnight, I'm well into the land of nod. This lasts right through the night and I have been known to JUST make the school run. The Doctor warned me that I might have a "hangover-like" reaction and she was right. Within half an hour though, I'm fully alert. Even if it's an artifically created sleep, at least my head switches off for 9 hours a day - priceless!

I have to say this is better than the old me who used to go to bed and if I woke up tossing and turning around 2 am, then that was me for the night! Two hours kip when you're struggling with money and other stuff is not a good combination.

Take care

TMD xx

Summer1969

Thanks very much for that. Bit nervous about taking them, never taken anything like that in my life, but we all need some extra help at times I suppose, don't we. And hopefully it will be short term only!