How can I smooth things over with OH's best mate?

Twopints

Marker wrote: »

Yes lets forget about the holiday!

Yes, let's. Or let's drag it up every time it's convenient.

Let's forget the OP completely and just do what her OH tells her to.

Marker_2

Twopints wrote: »

Yes, let's. Or let's drag it up every time it's convenient.

Let's forget the OP completely and just do what her OH tells her to.

She owes him, or should at least show more appreciation. If she hasnt got a give and take relationship then maybe she should get out, all we know is this little snippet!

Gwen - if your AD are making you that sleepy I suggest you go back to the doctor and have them changed! Your not going to overcome any sort of depression if you are knackered all the time!

gorgeous_gwen

Bezzie mate's brother had plenty of thank you drinks bought for him last year so it wasn't as if I was ungrateful. I'm not, I appreciate it lots! I can totally see how it wouldn't appear like that though.

Lillibet_2

Bypass you OH, who is not helping matters, go straight to the mate, apologize for your OH mis-leading him & explain honestly what the problem was & say next time it won't be a problem if it isn't sprung on you at the last minute but you won't be bullied like last night. Wait for OH to have "words" & calmly tell him you've already straightened things out with mate & are now waiting for his (OH's) apology for his part in the situation.

Good luck;)

melancholly

if i'd gone out expecting my OH to jump in the car and come home , i'd be seriously unimpressed at being emotionally blackmailled into becoming a taxi service with extra drunk men in my car! you need to speak to your OH and explain that it's not fair to spring things on you - on a purely practical basis i might go out in my pyjamas for a quick pick up, but then wouldn't be impressed if OH's mates all got in the car too!!

if a group of grown men are going out drinking but are incapable of making plans for how the night will end (bus, taxi, phoning in advance about the lift, walking!), then they really need to grow up! helping someone out who has broken down once does not mean you have to bail them out for their lack of planning whenever they want. a real friend wouldn't bring out the pity card when they saw you really weren't up for it.

you need to smooth things over, that's a given, but it should be your OH who stands up for you and apologises for springing it on you (at which point you apologise for not giving the lift but you just really didn't feel up to it - it's not spite that stopped you, it's just not what you needed). you should also take the text messages with a pinch of salt as they were probably still a bit drunk and not at their most reasonable.

dad-of-4

if this guy had lived 4 miles away that would have taken you 2 minutes @ 30mph

but its about an hours walk for him.

to have nocked him back on the lift is initialy thoughtless, to have not thought better of it when reminded of the favour he had done for you in the past is quite frankly shamefull.

so shame on you, and shame on thoes who think you've done no wrong.

i guess it shows what a selfish me me me society we live in.

melancholly

dad-of-4 wrote: »

i guess it shows what a selfish me me me society we live in.

a drunk man demanding a lift from a woman at nearly midnight, giving no thought as to how tired she may be....... yes, that really is a me me me attitude!

debs66_2

sorry, i also think you should have given him a lift, and also not read your OH's texts - they were of a personal conversation.

mates look out for each other, and he looked out for you once. if cash was really a problem, you could have asked your OH for a couple of quid after dropping his mate off, and quietly mentioned that you are a little short and hadn't counted on an extra trip. i'm sure your OH would have helped if it was such a problem, as i said, mates/family/partners look out for each other.

Felicity

I am in the camp of you should have given him a lift!

Are you sure there is not more to it (the reason you didnt give him a lift) if it was only a few minutes out of your way and he did you such a big favour previously?

If you were so tired that you couldnt drive a few extra minutes, then you really shouldnt have been driving in the first place.

Also, naughty of you to read the texts, its one thing USING somebody elses phone to send a text, it's another thing to READ their personal messages.

I am not sure how you could apologise for this as it's one of those things that will probably be remembered by both your OH and his mate.

Best thing would probably be to call around to see him (maybe with a bottle of wine or a few beers) and say you had made a huge error and were out of order. Can you forgive and forget?

reehsetin

if the guy hadn't given you a lift previously would have said you were within your rights to say no, but after someone had gone to the trouble of helping you out you could have returned the favor and later explained to your oh that you wont be doing so any more, and if he tries it again you just wont be coming to pick him up any more he can get a taxi or walk