Our 2 teenage boys never want to do anything! Any ideas?

Savvy_Sue

harryharp wrote: »

But all we managed to do really was alienate them, and all their friends thought they had really weird parents!

Oh you don't want to worry about THAT! My boys have known they've got really weird parents since they were little ... :rotfl:

And Warhammer - remember it well! :rotfl:

cazac71

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Oh you don't want to worry about THAT! My boys have known they've got really weird parents since they were little ... :rotfl:

And Warhammer - remember it well! :rotfl:

lol, yeh parents are supposed to be weird aint they? well to their children anyhow!:rotfl:;)

anonymousie

dad-of-4 wrote: »

my eldest lad is 9 and its been murder trying to find him something to get into and stick at, i bought him a 10 week climbing course last september cos he fancied having a go, he took to it well, he's now north west junior champion for boys 7-10 and off to edinbugh at the end of next month for the final of the british junior championships.

this is a kid who's best friend would have been a console, has allways seen things and thought wow that looks good, tries it then gives up when he realises it requires a bit of effort. he never got into anything never dug in and toughed it out with a go for it attitude, hates team sports, footballs great till he gets tackled and doesnt want to play any more that kind of thing.

Im not saying rock climbing is right for anyone else but ive come to the conclusion that you just need to find the right thing for your kids and support them in it as best you can dont give up and let them fester in there bedrooms. its not going to produce well rounded well adjusted sociable adults.

my lad is in need of a new bike and ive managed to tun him onto trials bikes so theres a bit more to it than riding around, he can get a lot out of it if he put something into it. hopefully he will put the same effort in to that now that he knows he can achieve anything with the right attitude.

Brilliant!

I am another "don't just let them fester" parent.

OK I'm a relatively inexperienced "mum of teens" as DD1 is 15 and DS 12, and maybe we haven't hit that point yet....At the moment the only time DD spends closeted in her room is homework! Like the above Dad we pointed them at activities they might like and they took off and "ran with them". We are lucking that we are in a city with good transport etc, all 3 are cathedral choristers and this fills the time and builds friendships etc (all started when DS was bullied at arround age 9 in order to find him a friendship group "like him"). The only problems we have (esp with DS) is that they take up things and never want to give up! DS is determinedly into sport as well as music, and has bif plans re rugby (EEK"!!) when his voice breaks!

Ah, yes we do limit console time too....Not much as often there isn't time to do much, but they certainly can't stay up all night playing etc.

The secondary schools the elder 2 attend have loads going on and a heroic effort is made to make sure that all areas are "valued" and "cool" so participation is easy. DD is even thinking about the knitting club! Mind you warhammer at DS school is definately a "non cool" club...

tazz233

My brother is 15. Until about a year ago, all he did was play on the computer all the time and it would drive my mum crazy. Anyway, something changed about a year ago and now he goes out with friends to the park, bike-riding, bowling and to each others houses. I think at 13/14, they don't have any money, the weather is bad, they are insecure with themselves, what exactly can teenagers do? At 15/16 most of his friends have part-time jobs and parents are more happy about letting their teens going out of their own to places in the evening (I know some of his friends mums were quite protective and wouldn't let them go to under 18 gigs).

I wouldn't worry, it is probably just a phase they are going through!

LindaS

I hope it's just a phase - my ex-boyfriend got addicted to World of Warcraft when he started uni, it got so bad he'd sleep all day (not go to lectures) then stay up all night to play WoW because he could get a better internet connection between 1am and 9am.

computer games are evil....

cazac71

LindaS wrote: »

I hope it's just a phase - my ex-boyfriend got addicted to World of Warcraft when he started uni, it got so bad he'd sleep all day (not go to lectures) then stay up all night to play WoW because he could get a better internet connection between 1am and 9am.

computer games are evil....

I dont think they are "Evil. People get addicted to all sorts of things, if your`ve got that kind of personality, then you`d be more vunerable.

hustle90

harryharp wrote: »

I just want to say many thanks for all your helpful ideas and advice- it's given me a lot to go on. It's really lovely that other teenagers have also responded to try and help us out! It's nice to know that people are so kind, and also that we're not alone.

Mmm....Geocaching (how do you pronounce it- Geocashing?) A few of you have mentioned this and I did a quick Google. Sounds fascinating! I asked the older boy over breakfast if he'd heard of it. He hadn't, but was quite intrigued when I briefly explained what it was. At least I didn't get the usual 'I'd rather stick pins in my eyes' routine- he actually said it sounds 'interesting' and even 'cool'!! So I will definitely look into this. All looks a bit complicated at first glance though. How do you make a start as a complete novice? We do have a GPS, but is there an idiot's guide somewhere on what you have to do? It does sound great from what I've read, as neither of my 2 see the point of just 'going for a walk'- but they might be more up for it if there were some sort of purpose to it.

Re. rationing the computer/Xbox games. We did try this for a while- we limited them to 2 hours per day. But all we managed to do really was alienate them, and all their friends thought they had really weird parents! So I think I'd rather try to suggest alternative interesting things for them to do so they limit the amount of time they spend on games by their own choice.

Some people have asked what sort of things they're into. Well, neither of them are into the usual 'boy' stuff like football and other such sports- either watching or playing. The kind of computer games they play are things like Neverwinter Nights, Dungeons and Dragons etc- ie. fantasy type. They do have friends round and also go to their houses (the older one especially), but all they do is play their computer games. They also read a lot (in bed before they go to sleep)- again usually things with a fantasy and sci-fi theme. They also like watching anything like that on TV- eg. they love things like Doctor Who and Primeval. I gather from my older son that he's in a minority with being a Doctor Who fan in his age-group- it's apparently enjoyed most by much younger kids and also adults, but not teenagers. He says all his peers call it 'gay'! (I hate the way kids these days use that word as an insult.) But I'm quite proud of them that they're not afraid to be different and not just follow the crowd.

A while ago they were both into Warhammer in a big way, and used to spend a lot of time making models and going to the Games Workshop to have games with other kids there. Despite the small fortune we spent on box sets, etc. I did think it was GREAT- as they were doing something creative and it got them out and interacting with other kids. But sadly, they have lost interest, and I can only hope they come back to it again in the future.

Once again thank you for all your suggestions- I will think seriously about all of them.

They sound like normal teenagers to me (I'm 17 myself).
Be proud that they're reading books, playing computer games with friends (as we all do) instead of hanging around on street corners and drinking/smoking like some people I know.

I should start reading. I've never found it that interesting, but then again, I've never given it a chance.

buxtonrabbitgreen

My eldest son was glued to his computer from 13 to 17. But whilst he was doing a YTS scheme he won best student and the prize was an activity holiday.
I thought a. he wouldn't want to go and b. he would hate it. Wrong. He loved it.
My youngest son spends a lot of time on the computer. A few years ago I took him camping in the peak district and discovered that he loves walking as long as it is up big hills. Last year, at his request, we climbed Snowdon. I am sure he could have done it in half the time without me.
Like someone else said it is getting them to try somthing new that is the problem.
They don't know, but they might be inspired.
Don't you think that most boys like climbing things. Not being sexist here. But my dd stayed in bed in the tent while we climbed snowdon. She is not lazy but has other interests like skiing, rugby, athletics.
Good luck.

barnaby-bear

harryharp wrote: »

Can anyone help? Our 2 boys, aged 12 and 15, NEVER want to do anything...the only things that interest them are computer games and their XBox 360!! We are forever trying to get them interested in other things but to no avail.

Does anyone have any ideas generally on what we can do about this, and also, we desperately need to get away for a couple of days in the half term (1 or 2 nights)- does anyone have any ideas on anywhere we can go or anything interesting to do (in the UK)? A short break that they won't just see as boring or as something they'll do begrudgingly....I know it's a lot to ask!!

Has anyone else with teenage boys gone anywhere or done anything that's been appealing to them? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

http://www.pgl.co.uk/PGLWeb/about-us/news-and-media/Introductory-holidays.htm
Can't you just let pack 'em off and do stuff away from you and perhaps develop an unhealthy interest in girls... use the time to yourselves. Win-win...

sticher

Well, neither of them are into the usual 'boy' stuff like football and other such sports- either watching or playing

It seems that IS the normal boy stuff now. I have exactly the same problem with my sons (especially the older two of 11 and 15). The ONLY thing my eldest has shown any interest in doing (other than his games) is when I suggested we try scuba diving as a family.

I know it can be expensive, but our local pool offers a taster session - might be worth a try. Geocaching sounds interesting tool.

Glad to hear though that mine are so unusual, lol.