Our 2 teenage boys never want to do anything! Any ideas?

iyiarz

I found a local arts centre recently, that i didn't know existed. They do pottery amongst other things. I've always wanted to try since I was a kid and having a blast on the wheel making a wibbly pot last week was awesome. They are going to bake it in the kiln and then I can glaze it.

£6.70 a visit (pay as you go) which included everything.

mandi

ah well I can sleep in peace........... Thought I was the mother of 2 aliens ... :rotfl:

cazac71

mandi wrote: »

ah well I can sleep in peace........... Thought I was the mother of 2 aliens ... :rotfl:

Deffinately not:p

Savvy_Sue

harryharp wrote: »

A short break that they won't just see as boring or as something they'll do begrudgingly....I know it's a lot to ask!!

"Life is tough, and sometimes VERY boring. Deal with it." A Mother's Advice to Her Sons. Well, this mother's advice anyway.

Best holiday we had was at Manor Adventure - a week one summer. We met at meal times and could spot them in between times and have a laugh. I bottled out of the canoeing, and was therefore able to watch while DS1 and his 'team' built a raft. This was useful later in the week when the adults were raft-building, and split into men and women. Despite (or perhaps because?) they had a serving army officer and a former RN officer on their team, we women built a very sturdy raft, while theirs fell apart as soon as they got on it! :rotfl:

Happy days ...

They're now 16, 18 and 20, and we're trying to have a last family holiday this summer, in the USA. Absolute nightmare trying to get ideas for things they'd like to do. If it's any consolation, the 16 year old is the worst! By definition, anything we do with him will be boring ...

kazwookie

Geocaching

Google it

Paparika

my 13 year old is the same, he's plugged into the net as soon as he can after homework.

I'm a wow player myself and yes it is addictive, but i even give myself time to play and then i have to do my own chores (I'm the mum) he plays wow too, but taking a break.

although my son is still at the age that i can tempt him with day trips out, only because i got a newer car Sunday and he asked where we could go bank holiday Monday :T

But at the end of the day, I am the boss in this house (single parent) and I pay the bills, and until he is out working he has no say in the matter, he can only suggest.

harryharp

I just want to say many thanks for all your helpful ideas and advice- it's given me a lot to go on. It's really lovely that other teenagers have also responded to try and help us out! It's nice to know that people are so kind, and also that we're not alone.

Mmm....Geocaching (how do you pronounce it- Geocashing?) A few of you have mentioned this and I did a quick Google. Sounds fascinating! I asked the older boy over breakfast if he'd heard of it. He hadn't, but was quite intrigued when I briefly explained what it was. At least I didn't get the usual 'I'd rather stick pins in my eyes' routine- he actually said it sounds 'interesting' and even 'cool'!! So I will definitely look into this. All looks a bit complicated at first glance though. How do you make a start as a complete novice? We do have a GPS, but is there an idiot's guide somewhere on what you have to do? It does sound great from what I've read, as neither of my 2 see the point of just 'going for a walk'- but they might be more up for it if there were some sort of purpose to it.

Re. rationing the computer/Xbox games. We did try this for a while- we limited them to 2 hours per day. But all we managed to do really was alienate them, and all their friends thought they had really weird parents! So I think I'd rather try to suggest alternative interesting things for them to do so they limit the amount of time they spend on games by their own choice.

Some people have asked what sort of things they're into. Well, neither of them are into the usual 'boy' stuff like football and other such sports- either watching or playing. The kind of computer games they play are things like Neverwinter Nights, Dungeons and Dragons etc- ie. fantasy type. They do have friends round and also go to their houses (the older one especially), but all they do is play their computer games. They also read a lot (in bed before they go to sleep)- again usually things with a fantasy and sci-fi theme. They also like watching anything like that on TV- eg. they love things like Doctor Who and Primeval. I gather from my older son that he's in a minority with being a Doctor Who fan in his age-group- it's apparently enjoyed most by much younger kids and also adults, but not teenagers. He says all his peers call it 'gay'! (I hate the way kids these days use that word as an insult.) But I'm quite proud of them that they're not afraid to be different and not just follow the crowd.

A while ago they were both into Warhammer in a big way, and used to spend a lot of time making models and going to the Games Workshop to have games with other kids there. Despite the small fortune we spent on box sets, etc. I did think it was GREAT- as they were doing something creative and it got them out and interacting with other kids. But sadly, they have lost interest, and I can only hope they come back to it again in the future.

Once again thank you for all your suggestions- I will think seriously about all of them.

dad-of-4

my eldest lad is 9 and its been murder trying to find him something to get into and stick at, i bought him a 10 week climbing course last september cos he fancied having a go, he took to it well, he's now north west junior champion for boys 7-10 and off to edinbugh at the end of next month for the final of the british junior championships.

this is a kid who's best friend would have been a console, has allways seen things and thought wow that looks good, tries it then gives up when he realises it requires a bit of effort. he never got into anything never dug in and toughed it out with a go for it attitude, hates team sports, footballs great till he gets tackled and doesnt want to play any more that kind of thing.

Im not saying rock climbing is right for anyone else but ive come to the conclusion that you just need to find the right thing for your kids and support them in it as best you can dont give up and let them fester in there bedrooms. its not going to produce well rounded well adjusted sociable adults.

my lad is in need of a new bike and ive managed to tun him onto trials bikes so theres a bit more to it than riding around, he can get a lot out of it if he put something into it. hopefully he will put the same effort in to that now that he knows he can achieve anything with the right attitude.

ukjoel

I think you have the wrong approach.
All this fresh air is overated

Seriously though I was a bit like them. Going out cost money and we didnt have it wheras staying in playing on the computer was cheap. Also these days they are not on there own as if they are networked up (as all are) they are talking to there friends and god knows who else but having fun doing so.

I think the media has hyped things up so much that kids dont want to go out and if you think about it where would you go if 1. you couldnt drive, 2. you didnt have any money, and 3. you were too young to work.

One point I would make is back when I was a teenager (say 15 years ago) it was all computers and not games consoles. Therefore in those days we knew a bit more about how the games worked and could write our own.

Those guys (whose parents moaned at them) are now working for Google earning 100k plus share options.

There are already people in the states and Asia earning £100k plus from playing computer games and am not saying this will be your kids but its what they do (boys especially) and I would just let them do it.

The internet is a bit like a library. Ok the adult section is a bit bigger but there is a lot there so why would they be bored.

Leave em be - while the kid who punched your son will be in prison in ten years your kid will have picked up strong analytical skills, negotiation skills, and an understanding of psychology he would never pick up hanging around in a park.

J

Oldernotwiser

ukjoel wrote: »

.

if you think about it where would you go if 1. you couldnt drive, 2. you didnt have any money, and 3. you were too young to work.


J

What an incredibly depressing point of view! Surely you can't really still think this now that you're in your thirties?