Pocket Money for bf/gf

pollyanna24

Going on from the ridiculous thread I've just read about "What to give wife..."

How much do people think we should have as personal money?

I'm currently pregnant with my first child and we haven't really finalised our options for after my maternity pay runs out (indeed, he may be the main carer and I am the one handing out "pocket money").

While I am on maternity, we should have enough money off his wages and what I get in benefits, but we stick everything into the joint account and have accounted for £200 each a month for personal items (this includes socialising, alcohol, clothes etc). At the moment, it's £300, but I already live off £200 and stick £100 into an account to help out his income when I give up work. Is this too much? Bf already finds it hard to live off his £300, but we have no choice, but to go down to £200 when my money stops.

divadee

i personally think its a lot to have £300 a month each to spend on us. We dont even that between us!!! we get by on about £120 a month for going out and clothes etc... that between us not each.

Your boyfriend might not want to go out much when baby comes along, or he might want to go out more!!! But if your budget is £200 for him then he will have to stick to it.

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico

hi pollyanna

i am on maternity leave at the moment as well - because we are now debt free and thankfully oh has a fairly well paid job we are able to get £200 each as well.

of that oh pays for bus pass (£59), any additional amount due on his mobile contract and his lunches at work. he could have pack lunches and save money but he prefers to buy them.

i pay for bits and pieces for dd, craft stuff etc to make gifts and any clothes i want (as opposed to need) so it works out fair. when i go back to work p/t i will take packed lunches as i prefer to spend the money on other things

meant to say that although we have sep spending money - everything else is joint

floss2

I budget £30 a week for myself (£130 a month). I can't afford anymore after putting Uni support for my kids aside, paying my own bills (pension / petrol / mobile / life insurance / car insurance) and chipping my share into our household bills. If I ever have any more spare, then I either pay off my C/C or save it for hols or Christmas.

Maybe your BF could start to manage on his £300, then next month drop to £250, then to £200. If he can't manage, suggest he gets a bar job that fits in with your working hours, or sells some of the stuff he has on Ebay.

pollyanna24

Thanks for people's responses.

I'm not entirely sure where his money goes, the only one I know for certain is
£39 on his laser eye surgery (which will end soon).

So that leaves £261 which I think he spends on:-

Going to the pub

Takeaways (I know this one can be cut down when the lodgers go)

Clothes (Tesco and Sports World - so I know he's not going mad).

General spending during the day (he drives a van, so I know he pops into petrol stations).

CD or a game for his puta.

I know they all sound like luxuries, but I do think we need a bit of a life. I'm naturally a saver (I still have £140 of my £200 for May) and he is a spender, but he is gradually getting better. We have no debt besides the mortgage and I know he thinks I'm stingy and tight (I control all the joint money). I can't possibly ask him to get an evening job after coming home from work when we could just save a little less each month. If anything, after the baby comes, I will be expected to go out to work in the evenings (partly for my sanity, partly to get some extra money in).

I just panic and know that it's going to be hard when the kid comes. At the moment, we have spare money which we save, but this will change once the lodgers go and my wages go. He is trying to see things from my point of view, but he is one of those people that see things like "If you have money, spend it." I am the complete opposite and you have to prise a penny out of my hand!

I just think maybe we have more personal spending money because some people might see takeaways, or CDs, or clothes as something that comes out of joint money.

I don't know, maybe things will change when the baby comes.

OrkneyStar

We each have ridiculously less than what you say. I would say do a budget....I think there is one of the MSE main site. List everything ESSENTIAL first (mortgage/rent, CT, food, insurances, etc). Remember to factor baby in (they cost as much as you want them to, honestly!!). What is left, then allocate a holiday fund, savings fund, emergency fund, and then split what is left between you to do what you wish with. Works for us.
Good luck with the baby.

galvanizersbaby

Hi - you may find that you will be spending your money on different things anyway once baby arrives LOL! so you may not need as much for socialising, alcohol etc...
From memory when I was in your situ, my ex hubbie and I just had a joint account so we didn't have a set amount of 'spending money' each but then again I had two children very close together so most of the spare money went on baby stuff
I must admit I never thought of dividing it and calling it personal money
I think you learn to manage on whatever you have so hopefully your BF will be able to adjust:rotfl:

Jem8472

as me and my gf are saving for our wedding I try and live on £10 a week. Thats not a lot and sometimes I go over it, but it does help limit my spending.

galvanizersbaby

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Thanks for people's responses.

I'm not entirely sure where his money goes, the only one I know for certain is
£39 on his laser eye surgery (which will end soon).

So that leaves £261 which I think he spends on:-

Going to the pub

Takeaways (I know this one can be cut down when the lodgers go)

Clothes (Tesco and Sports World - so I know he's not going mad).

General spending during the day (he drives a van, so I know he pops into petrol stations).

CD or a game for his puta.

I know they all sound like luxuries, but I do think we need a bit of a life. I'm naturally a saver (I still have £140 of my £200 for May) and he is a spender, but he is gradually getting better. We have no debt besides the mortgage and I know he thinks I'm stingy and tight (I control all the joint money). I can't possibly ask him to get an evening job after coming home from work when we could just save a little less each month. If anything, after the baby comes, I will be expected to go out to work in the evenings (partly for my sanity, partly to get some extra money in).

I just panic and know that it's going to be hard when the kid comes. At the moment, we have spare money which we save, but this will change once the lodgers go and my wages go. He is trying to see things from my point of view, but he is one of those people that see things like "If you have money, spend it." I am the complete opposite and you have to prise a penny out of my hand!

I just think maybe we have more personal spending money because some people might see takeaways, or CDs, or clothes as something that comes out of joint money.

I don't know, maybe things will change when the baby comes.

Please don't feel 'expected to go out to work in the evenings' - if this is your first baby or any other for that matter you will be tired - besides assuming you'll be looking after the new baby all day I would classify that as 'working all day' - your being sensible saving some of your money now so don't panic - I expect things will change when the baby comes and you'll get by - good luck:rotfl:

pollyanna24

OrkneyStar wrote: »

We each have ridiculously less than what you say. I would say do a budget....I think there is one of the MSE main site. List everything ESSENTIAL first (mortgage/rent, CT, food, insurances, etc). Remember to factor baby in (they cost as much as you want them to, honestly!!). What is left, then allocate a holiday fund, savings fund, emergency fund, and then split what is left between you to do what you wish with. Works for us.
Good luck with the baby.

Thanks for that. We.... I mean, I already do all of this. We have a non monthly bills account for stuff like car insurance, tax, dentist etc. It's been up and running since October 2006 when bf panicked because he didn't have the money to pay for stuff like this, so this is when I took over. The pocket money was so that he didn't have to worry about things like this. He would also forget that his phone bill still had to come out of his bank and spend the money, so overall it's a good idea that I hold the purse strings.

Everything is pretty shipshape at the moment (thanks to me and he doesn't deny this), I just think it's going to be a pretty big shock to him. The £200 that we get each month will not leave very much in the bank account and savings will have to go on hold (but at least we (hopefully) won't be dipping into what we have already). I intend to save most of mine or spend it on the baby, but I'll have to accept it if he wants to blow his. Seeing as he already puts over 87% of his wages in the joint account, I suppose I should be grateful :rotfl:

floss2

pollyanna24 wrote: »

....I can't possibly ask him to get an evening job after coming home from work when we could just save a little less each month. If anything, after the baby comes, I will be expected to go out to work in the evenings (partly for my sanity, partly to get some extra money in)......

Sorry, I interpreted you saying he may be main carer as that he would be a SAHF....I didn't realise he also had a day-job.

Surely an SOA would be a good idea - for both of you - to see what HAS to be paid each month, and how much is left, to be shared between you.