FIL blanked me and eldest daughter

mrcow

Well it's easy enough to know what to do:

1. This either bothers you both enough to get in contact with them to try and sort it?
2.Or it doesn't?

Once you have decided which camp you fall into......the plan of action will be clear.

You are being extremely vague about the split from them which isn't really helping anyone trying to offer advice btw. You don't just go from being someone's surrogate daughter to not being on speaking terms with them.......something always triggers the falling out, even if it's not a spoken something.

MissMotivation

britguy wrote: »

well maybe he thought you'd blanked him..."by the time id realised it was him, i turned around and he was gone", so just walked off.

or maybe you're ugly and he doesn't want to be seen in public with you.

What a useful post! :eek:

Dill

Is there perhaps someone who knows you both and who you could ask about this. Perhaps a mutual friend or family member who could have a quiet word with them (A 'mediator' so to speak.)

The in-laws don't sound very forthcoming, so it seems unlikely they'll say directly to you what their problem is.

There might have been some really petty insignificant little thing that everyone (except them!) has forgotten about, or perhaps someone else has been causing trouble? While you're met with a wall of silence, I guess you can only speculate.

What a shame, - life really is too short!:D

cheepskate_2

allenx wrote: »

My inlaws havent spoken or been in contact with us for over 4 years. .
We never had a falling out, they have just completely ignored us for years,
I also saw his mum in argos 2 years back, she didnt even speak ,
he just doesnt know what hes done wrong,

Hubby went to see them about 3 years ago on his own to take a christmas card around,(quote)

From what i understand it your hubby had no contact for 3 years , and the falling out persumabley was cos they never mentioned yourself or kids.
What is the reason that your hubby has not contacted them in all this time.

You say you dont know why they have fallen out with you , but hubby who fell out with them 3 years ago and never bothered contacting them again, i suppose thye are left wondering why their son never comes around.

Seems a bit strange to me in all this time that hubby has never asked his parent why they dont call

The best thing is to open communications and ask them .

poppyolivia

They are probably thinking you're blanking them.....same story both sides kinda thing?????

If my DH went round with xmas cards etc and me and the kids didn't...they would think something was up......??????

Sarahjovi

Well, I really think your Husband needs to visit his parents and ask them. Theres no point guessing.

It may be a simple misunderstanding or something more, But until you ask you won't know.

Sarah:D

JayleighAnn

cheepskate wrote: »

Hubby went to see them about 3 years ago on his own to take a christmas card around,(quote)

From what i understand it your hubby had no contact for 3 years , and the falling out persumabley was cos they never mentioned yourself or kids.
What is the reason that your hubby has not contacted them in all this time.

You say you dont know why they have fallen out with you , but hubby who fell out with them 3 years ago and never bothered contacting them again, i suppose thye are left wondering why their son never comes around.

Seems a bit strange to me in all this time that hubby has never asked his parent why they dont call

The best thing is to open communications and ask them .

"My inlaws havent spoken or been in contact with us for over 4 years"

It sounds like he went round to make amends and it didn't come to a good end. OP have you rang them up and asked them whats going on? Maybe they feel like you and OH are the ones who are not happy with them?

woozywendy

You say your MIL is very close to her daughter, can you not ask her why this has happened ?

zztopgirl

Could it be that they are upset regarding their son getting married and starting a family of his own? I post on another messageboard and this kind of thing happens a lot.

Speaking of which, i wish i had your in-laws, we have police protection and lawyers to keep my in-laws away. They don't seem to understand that constant abuse and harrassment is against the law. The only reason we could think of is because i took their darling little boy away from them, but he is entitled to a life, im sure he would still be in nappies if mil had her way. We have grieved and accepted it as a loss, its their loss at the end of the day though.

allenx

Thanks so much for everyones replys. When he went round with the christmas card, he went on his own as didnt want the children to basically, and i know this is going to come out wrong but i cant think of a better way of putting it, he didnt want the children to basically realise what they are missing out on, ie grandparents, especially if it was going to continue the way it has, he didnt want them to get hurt. It had been a year with no contact so he thought hed make the first move, it made no difference though but at least he tried. His sister moved away and we werent told that she had gone, again, there has been no contact from her, we havent a clue where she is to this day,this obv hurt too, especially as she has caused a hell of a lot of trouble and all he has done is worked really hard and never recieved any acknowlegment for it, i know this has a little to do with how he wont go running, begging for them to be part of our family . I do personnaly think that we just have to leave it now, enough time has gone by and we do have a nice life ourselves, we have plenty of love in our little family so we are very lucky there. He hasnt phoned them as he feels that hes been abandoned, maybe not the right way to go about it but i do understand how he feels. Im so sorry to the poster who has had to get the police involved about thier inlaws, i feel for you x. Its such a shame familys cant be perfect, wouldnt it be great if they were? Thanks again for reading the post, its got a lot off my chest, its also made me realise that i do harbour quite a bit of resentment about them, be it right or wrong, hence i feel its best for myself to stay away, thanks again, bless you all xxx