FIL blanked me and eldest daughter

Bitsy_Beans

As others have said if you want to know why then someone needs to be direct and ask.
Based on what they said you can either walk away or take things further and try and resolve the situation.

Hope you manage to sort something out.

Carmina_Piranha_3

how old are your children? just wondering if there's an event they might be invited to which could break the ice - an 18th party, wedding. confirmation at church etc?

Kimberley

They are adults, if they want to blank you and your hubby fine but to take it out of the grandchildren is childish and hurtful. Why do some people behave like this? Life is too short and one day they will wake up and realise their mistake in missing out on several years of not seeing their grandchildren grow up.

Kimberley

shadwell.17 wrote: »

It's obviously your fault. Why are you stopping a father and son from having a loving relationship? You can have as many wifes as you want but you will only have 1 father. I would encourage your husband to spend what little time he has left with his father. Maybe, if your lucky, he will come back to you after his parents have passed on. Sometimes if you love someone you have to let them be happy even if it makes you sad. I hope your stepfather gets to see his son before it's too late

What?? His duty is to his wife and children, his parents need to grow up. When you have a family they come first.

allenx

Shadwell, im not sure if youre taking the mickey or not. Im not stopping my hubby seeing his mother or father, they decided they didnt want to see us any more, he has seen them and they still dont want anything to do with myself or the children. Its his choice to have no more to do with them. Hes an adult, we arent children who are having petty little arguments. As for him taking me back when his father passes on, lol, his dad is only 52, hardly the end of the line for him yet. In an ideal world we WOULD all be together, its the in laws that have chosen to have no contact. If you love someone let them go eh? I do let him go, he can go whereever he wants, its his family, and mine also as im married to him, but if he thinks all its going to cause is hurt then so be it, its his choice, as long as my family is happy thats all i care about. Vows are very important to us. I do get the sense of you taking the mickey, my hubby doesnt need any more than one wife, im more than enough for him to handle lol, he'll say he doesnt need any more earache lol. Love makes the world go round and we have plenty here thankyou, thanks for taking the time to reply x

allenx

Kimberley, thankyou hun xxxx

allenx

And also, saying i would feel sad that my hubby had got his relationship back on track with his parents is a joke, i would feel proud for him, i would personnaly stay away from them but feel immensly proud that he was happy. I am here for him as much as he is here for me. If we are all happy that is what counts surely, i would never stop him seeing his parents, no matter how resentful i feel, and i would never judge him for that, as far as im concerned that is childish, and im not a child any more, unfortunately lol x

Violetta_2

Just an idea what about a writing a letter to them asking why they aren't keeping in contact along the lines of you know your oh misses them for himself & their grandkids and you don't understand what happened and if it's something you have done you would like to try and apologise. (suck up iykwim).
Families are so difficult having prob's myself with my brother and if anyone else treated me the way he does (probably without thinking) I'd tell them where to go and just cut them off BUT because it's him it hurt's me everytime.
Hope everything is ok, maybe someone more articulate than myself could help with a letter, and like my dad say's to me you have your own wonderful family it's their loss.

misty

I find it hard to believe it can go from one extreme to another with nothing happening or being said in the meantime.

if you were the daughter she always wanted - then something must have happened to make them now not want to talk to you. Did you ever ask them? XXXX I feel you're upset with me - is everything ok? When they first ignored you - did you not think to phone them after and say - why did you blank me in the shop?

When your husband went round to give the birthday card - why didn't he say - Mum/Dad/sister what's your problem with XXX and why don't you speak or ask about the kids?

You've let it drag on now for years without doing anything to improve things - you need to either have it out with them or get over it.

It's had to get to this point and part of it lack of action on your parts too

allenx

Thanks Violetta, i have thought about the letter writing, but they moved, as far as i know about 8 months ago, i know theyre still in the area but i dont know the address, neither does hubby, although we know the rough area. I have thought about writing the letter and just keeping it, albeit dated so when we do find out where they are at least theres proof what date it was. This is soo complicated, its actually a bit of a nightmare. I try not to worry about it but it does make me cross, especially as it was his bday yest and i saw his dad in the shop saturday, it wouldve taken nothing to say send ***** birthday wishes please, we miss him, or anything like that, im not an awful witch that will start shouting and going, they know that, i will just pass the message on asap. The worst thing is, i feel bad, i can only imagine what he feels like, you know what men are like, we only hear the tip of the iceberg of emotions of situations like this, its horrible. Also what would i put in the letter, you havent been in contact with us for years, hubby went round and saw you and it made no difference, weve been invisible ever since, even though we live less than 5 miles from you, our youngest is 7 years old and you havent seen her since she was 3, even then you only saw her once. She saw a photo of them holding her as a baby a couple of weeks ago and said who is that, that says it all really, it was a really difficult situation, im afraid to say we just changed the subject, we didnt know what else to do, for her sakes really. The other 2 are older, one is about to leave school and he calls them dads, mum and dad, the middle one wont say their names, its a shame as they are missing out on grandchildren and grandparents, there are none my side of the family as mine are all passed over, effectively they have no nan or grandad, a hugggge shame and waste xxx