FIL blanked me and eldest daughter

allenx

Misty, no of course im not upset with you, sorry if ive made you feel like that. No, to be honest ive never asked them what ive done, the longer its dragged on the more resentful ive got to be honest. If im telling the truth, and please correct me here if you feel ive been wrong, although before ive even written it i can see what ive not done. Ive always felt it should be up to them to be in contact with thier son and grandchildren, and maybe thats where the problem lies. Im using my children as an example here, i would never not be in contact with my children, if they werent in contact with me for 48 hours i would be there on the phone or on the doorstep. They arent my parents but my inlaws. When she didnt speak when she saw me in argos, the fact she had gone so quickly, even tho i was with 2 of the grandchildren, bearing in mind she hadnt seen us for 2 years said it all to me im afraid. I was sooo hurt and we had done nothing wrong that it stuck in my mind, before all this she still wasnt speaking to us, but yes, i didnt get out of the car and go and confront her for want of a better word, to be honest, and if im really truthful, i thought why should i, they are her grandchildren, she should want to see them after a couple of years of not. Thankyou for your post, i can see where maybe i shouldve been the bigger person and i might have been able to sort all of this out years ago without all of this. It still holds in my heart though, that what about her son, you dotn abandon your children. Again, i am only thinking of my own actions of if this was my own children and what i would do. Hubby is really hurt and has given up, as far as i know we have done nothing wrong, not to our knowledge anyway, but yhes, i couldve taken the plunge and gone after her for want of a better saying and tried to find out why. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. Im still unsure of what to do at the moment though, im thinking live and let live, lets keep our family happy, after all we have children to care for and they are happy, luckily they dont know what they are missing, that sounds wrong too but im sure you know what i mean xxxx

ikkle87

I didn't have contact with my dad for 4 years, he was always there and then I moved out to live with my fella at the time and he never spoke to me again. I had a really tough time during those 4 years and he never got in touch even when people messaged him and rung him to say i was in hospital but a few weeks ago i snapped and i wrote a letter pooring my heart out and it worked the next day he turned up on my doorstep and we talked for an hour and we have spoken since and it feels great. If you have tried everything else then try the letter writing if it is there in black and white it may be easier for them to accept.

allenx

Ikkle, im really pleased for you, and i hope it all works out well for you, may all your dreams come true. unfortunately in our situation we dont know where they are so i wouldnt know where to post the letter. May all of our hopes and dreams come true to you, at least then it will all be worth it, love and best wishes to you all, stay strong and keep your heart strong, may it all work out for the best, bless you hun xxx

Sarahjovi

Its not hard to find out where someone lives! Try searching on 192.com or similar website. Electoral roll etc.,

ikkle87

allenx wrote: »

Ikkle, im really pleased for you, and i hope it all works out well for you, may all your dreams come true. unfortunately in our situation we dont know where they are so i wouldnt know where to post the letter. May all of our hopes and dreams come true to you, at least then it will all be worth it, love and best wishes to you all, stay strong and keep your heart strong, may it all work out for the best, bless you hun xxx

Try searching online hun if you know there name and the rough area they live in then you should be able to find the address.

Steel_2

This isn't really adding up for me. As far as I can see there are three possible reasons for this happening.

1) His sister - who you say has caused trouble, but you haven't really specified what - has told his parents something dreadful about him and they believe her.

2) They are truly deadful people who take umbridge at the slightest offense - real or percieved. You chose the wrong colour at your wedding or something equally daft.

3) Your husband has done something, his parents have found out, taken umbridge and he not telling you about it.
If it's option 1) you need to know so you can repair the damage.

If it's option 2) you're better off without them. get on with your life and let them behave like twits.

If it's option 3) hmmmmmm.......
How sure are you he didn't go round on his own that Christmas without you or the children because he was worried they might spill the beans about something you don't know about? Something he has done or is doing in secret?

*******

People don't take umbridge in this way over nothing. Something has crawled up their backsides in a big way for them to practically disown their son. Normal mothers (and from what you have said of her before all this happened it sounds like she's normal) don't just turn their backs on their children like this for nothing. They are either trying to blackmail him into doing something or punishing him for something he's done.

I'll put my hands up here and say I'm a suspicious person because I learnt the hard way just what people can keep secret in an apparently normal loving relationship. And I'm not talking about just boyfriends or husbands, but siblings and parents too. In fact I found out a family - included aunts and uncles - can keep a secret FOR YEARS

To me, the fact that your husband has let this slide for so many years instead of kicking up a MASSIVE fuss (let's face it who wouldn't) makes me hugely suspicious he knows EXACTLY what the problem is. He may not pursuing it because it will blow up in his face. So he's hurt? Why isn't he angry? Roaringly angry at the injustice of it all. At their house banging the door down to find out. That's a normal response, is it not? Not this feeble letting it slide business.

There's more to this than meets the eye and you wouldn't be looking out for your family if you didn't do some quiet investigating. If I were you, I would go round there on your own and find out straight from them. You don't have to be agressive or 'have it out with them'. But enough is enough. Don't take hubby. If it's about him, they may clam up and not say anything.

You'll be operating from a position of strength because you know - and you'll be in a position to do something to fix the situation.

Bottom line, what you don't know could hurt you and your children.