Son already dipped in to his overdraft...

jr666

Sit him down in front of the computer and make him read this thread. he could also do a lot worse than read this whole web site and start to organise his life.

Start being harsh. He'll thank you in the long run.

lipidicman

I was going to say something like 'Dyspraxia is a problem you have to deal with, not an excuse for you to hide behind' so I decided to go away and find out a little about it. I am a bit confused here as I find it described as 'motor difficulties caused by perceptual problems, especially visual-motor and kinesthetic-motor difficulties' I am left unsure how this causes problems with numbers. Also, most people who can program computers need to be pretty numerate and have at least a reasonable grasp of algebra. Dealing with a bank account shouldn't be beyond your son's abilities.

jr666

I agree.

You said that he had already done, and enjoyed, doing a university student budget spreadsheet thing in a key skills maths paper?

I dont understand why he cant do the same thing now that he actually needs one?

stellagypsy

Update - as I feared it has all gone t*ts up -

Despite me sorting all his papers for him beforehand, son handed in the wrong form at enrollment and has not yet got his loan paid in to his account (told you he was useless!) His dad has now sorted it out (don't ask how, fortunately he is in a position where he can but he has probably broken every DP law on statute) and it SHOULD be deposited on 7/10/05.

However, in the meantime he has spent £800 of his £1000 overdraft PLUS the £50 wages he gets a week. He is now panicking (better late than never) and last night actually TURNED DOWN an invitation from his mates to go play snooker (with the infamous £80 snooker cue he bought and is probably all he has to show for his spree).

I have suggested (I have stopped TELLING him now as he doesn't take it on board) that he tries to live off his £50 wages from now on and just dips into his account for materials (some of which he can reclaim anyway as he has access to the disabled student grant) and emergencies - oh and of course to pay his board (no, I am not going soft on him, he must learn his lesson).

When his loan is deposited his bank will be at approx zero plus the £1000 overdraft - I think he can pull it round so long as he keeps on working and keeps his little debit card in his pocket - how to make life difficult for yourself, eh?

Stella xx

chrislee765

stellagypsy wrote:

he is just plain USELESS.

Never ever call your son useless. Im sure youve done something in the passed that your parents didnt agree with, but im sure they didnt call you useless.

People have different strengths and weakness, and for alot of people money is a weakness. Dangle the carrot, dont crack the whip, talk to him about it.

But when you start calling him Useless, well then theres some respect issues between you both, which also need sorting!



(sorry for the parenting lecture, not meaning to offend but no one deserves to be called useless)

Savvy_Sue

chrislee765 wrote:

Never ever call your son useless. Im sure youve done something in the passed that your parents didnt agree with, but im sure they didnt call you useless.

I hear what you're saying, but in stellagypsy's defence the context is 'useless with money' ... and numbers etc which is part of her lad's special needs. She has spoken very highly of his abilities in other areas.

Stella, the plastic card probably needs to stay in his bedroom rather than his pocket!

He IS learning if he didn't go out with his mates. Let's just hope he learns well ...

stellagypsy

Yep, useless with money is what I meant, (didn't come accross very well!) he has no concept of "spending it only once" - I love him to bits but he exasperates me in this respect. It has been very hard watching him this past week squander so much money on nothing knowing that he will land himself in such a mess yet having to respect that he is an "adult". OH (who spent most of his GRANT money on beer and women) is particularly harsh on him - very hypocritical, a case of "do as I say" not "do as I did"!

I know I did lots of things that my parents disapproved of, probably still do even at my great age(!), you just don't want your own kids to repeat your mistakes. But I guess he will have to learn by experience, as I did (and a lot of others, I'll bet!).

Stella xx

Karnam

its prob really hard to say accept this, esp with your hindsight, but give him at least a term or two to adjust. most people these days (myself included) max thier overdraft in the first year or term and end up learning from this deeply. its a jump in the deep end kind of thing. as a student all i can say is try and not to be too pushy (it'll make him wanna hide money things from you) but make sure he has limited borrowing ability. Ie. only has one credit card, isn't tempted to sign up for loads, doesn't have a high limit etc. and try not to bail him out unless it's DIRE DIRE need, otherwise he'll depend on you and will never learn! You'd be surprised how resourceful students are at getting free food when there is no money left on thier overdrafts to spend!