Journey towards the light bulb

chevalier

I am surprised that the child benefit is in his name. I would definitely get that changed. And you ref the direct debit, well words fail me, it is such a simple thing to do, and I would say that if he won't set it up, then it is up to HIM to remember to pay it. And see how he likes it when he starts getting late charges on the credit card.

You also mentioned that he has savings, so why do you have debts. Surely you are a family with family finances and it makes no sense for one person to be paying a higher rate of interest whilst the other saves at a lower rate of interest.

I would also suggest that by being the way he is he has chipped away at your self esteem and that is no good either.

Ref the NI credits you can check whether yours are protected by going on the NI website. I think you can put in your NI number to see, or at least raise a query.

best of luck with sorting this.
chev

basketcase

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

I have access to his online banking, which he never checks (yes, I do it for him) and he never questions me about things I buy for myself.

If you have access to his on-line banking, can you not set up the DD there, rather than trying to pin him down to a signature on a paper form?

One thing I'm wondering about. If he doesn't fill in forms and you didn't know about the Child Benefit being in his name, who applied for it? I don't remember it being automatic...

There's something really satisfying about smashing china in moments of stress, isn't there?

wannabe_sybil

basketcase wrote: »

If you have access to his on-line banking, can you not set up the DD there, rather than trying to pin him down to a signature on a paper form?

One thing I'm wondering about. If he doesn't fill in forms and you didn't know about the Child Benefit being in his name, who applied for it? I don't remember it being automatic...

There's something really satisfying about smashing china in moments of stress, isn't there?

I really have benefited from smashing china.

He registered the birth of our little boy and completed the child benefit forms at the same time. I had to stay in hospital for a while after the birth.

I don't want to make OH out to be a villain, but really any debt free journey is down to me. I know how kind people are on this board, and I already have made some (very) small changes and had encouragement and I really appreciate it.

Welshlassie - the savings are in his name with passbooks. He would never accept that we should pay off the debt with savings, especially as our income has increased. This is going to sound bad, but I'm just trying to explain. Over Christmas, with no regular income, money from the redundancy, money from the inheritance, a new car to pay for, bills, groceries, he didn't understand where all the money went. I paid off a lot then.

I do appreciate all the advice, and thank you for all the information - especially about the NI website. I didn't know about that but I shall definitely go and investigate.

Additionally, someone from the insurance company is coming round to see if we have subsidence. If we have there is another £1,000 to find! OH will give that out of his savings.

FROSTYFRECKLE

Hi Wannabe Sybil,

If you have access to your OH Online Banking you should be able to set-up any Direct Debit. Your OH does not sound bad, he sounds as if he is slightly afraid of anything financial! My hubby got to the stage he could not open any mail - do not even mention bank statements :eek: - no we were not in trouble. He had a "mind set" - anything financial was too stressful. Slowly but surely he has been converted and can now be found surfing the MSE website.

wannabe_sybil

Thank you for that, I think there is a definite flight or fight reaction and fortunately it's a flight!

I've tried to set up the DD with online banking without success. I may try again, because after all, it has to be worth a go.

skint_spice

Hi Sybil,
It might be easier to set up standing orders on your OHs online account as then you(he) remain in control of them, I can amend the amount paid on mine which I can't do with DDs.
Good luck with the debts and in sorting things out with your OH, to be fair to him maybe the child benefit is in his name as he didn't have access to your bank details when he set it up and was just taking the easiest option.

wannabe_sybil

Still haven't got much further, as I can't find those blessed forms!

But I have managed to find out my overdraft rate, which is going up to @ 12%, I can't remember the point something.

I really want to buy some food covers from Lakeland. They are in themselves inexpensive and flies are coming in from the garden. At the moment I fret about the tea towels I am currently using to cover food because they can carry bacteria. The problem is not the food covers, it is the temptation to get enough for the free postage, then the free gift and then it has to go on a credit card....

If you look at it like that it is much cheaper to pay £3.95 postage. It is 18 days to next month. I wonder if I could hold out that long?

I have some items on ebay, and hope to spend some of my computer time putting some more items on there.

I am gloomy today - and I can't imagine why. I suspect that it is because OH will be home tonight instead of going out, and I do enjoy an evening of OH-free knitting once a week.

Challenge - find the forms!!!

GeorgeUK

Keep up the good work Sybil. You might be feeling gloomy because you don't feel you've moved forward much, but you are moving forward and making progress!! Keep plugging away.

lilac_lady

Sybil you've got a hard time ahead of you if you're not getting NI credits because your OH claims the Child Benefit money. On that basis alone he should be very willing to change it over to your name so that you can get the credits for you future pension. Br strong and sort that one out first.
Good luck.
PS - forget Lakeland, visit some pound shops.

lindens

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

Still haven't got much further, as I can't find those blessed forms!

But I have managed to find out my overdraft rate, which is going up to @ 12%, I can't remember the point something.

I really want to buy some food covers from Lakeland. They are in themselves inexpensive and flies are coming in from the garden. At the moment I fret about the tea towels I am currently using to cover food because they can carry bacteria. The problem is not the food covers, it is the temptation to get enough for the free postage, then the free gift and then it has to go on a credit card....

If you look at it like that it is much cheaper to pay £3.95 postage. It is 18 days to next month. I wonder if I could hold out that long?

I have some items on ebay, and hope to spend some of my computer time putting some more items on there.

I am gloomy today - and I can't imagine why. I suspect that it is because OH will be home tonight instead of going out, and I do enjoy an evening of OH-free knitting once a week.

Challenge - find the forms!!!

Hello
there are alot of us spendaholics on here!
Its all about training yourself and habits. I found it was not good forbidding myself from buying something it just made it worse. So i reward myself instead. For example, your reward can be - if those items on ebay sell and you then have £xxx in paypal, you can buy yourself some food covers off ebay with your paypal money. The chances are they will be cheaper than lakeland anyway and you wont have touched the evil credit card.
I think for a while it may help you to "freeze" your credit card in a bowl of water in the freezer and then you can't get at it for a while. I found i wanted something "now", having to wait 24 hours for the card to thaw out meant by that time the feeling had gone and I didnt want that item anymore.
There is a shopaholics thread on here somewhere, it may help you.

You do sound like you may have trouble converting your OH, but how about you stop asking him straight out, and just everyday, generally drop moneysaving into the conversation. Just tell him how well you are doing, "I found this offer today and saved us £xxx" very soon it may get his interest up. You never know.
Good luck (sorry turned out a bit long lol)