Private school fees (merged)

maverickangel

Discodee wrote: »

Household income of 40K????????

Blimey! Ours is 15k and we are in no debt and have several hols a year. We'd be rich with 40K lol!

maverick, when were you born then? I was 11 in the seventies too, tho i didn't take the 11 plus. (They weren't big on it at my primary but made no odds; as someone said, bright kids will do well anywhere if so inclined. (I wasn't but still passed all my O levels lmao) ) I was born in 63; we must be round the same age I reckon.

Jane, have you not looked at other schools? I moved my kids from one primary to a different one a few miles away. My DS is still there. It was 500% better than the first. I moved them more for social reasons as they were both high achievers but the new school is MILES better and children are grouped according to ability and are stretched and helped regardless of how bright they are. They're all encouraged to reach their potential which is all you can ask of your child. You cannot make a below average child a genius, that's how it is, but you CAN get your child to reach their full potential. (Not saying your child is below av btw, I am talking generally)
And all children have strengths. Some may struggle at maths but excel at art. others may excel at sport.

I certainly wouldn't deprive your child of holidays when there are several good schools around. Good luck

I'm a 66 vintage . I completely agree with your post. I bred late in life, so think I've skipped a mind set in education. I am at a complete loss why there appear to be so many convinced that with "the right education" or enough cramming, their child will be the academic elite.

For my children, who are pre-schoolers ATM, all I want is for them to do their best and be happy. I don't really mind if they don't do well academically, as in all honesty I don't think exam results are the deciding factor in income prospects long term, going by my experience.

As I said, I went to Grammar school, but would not want that for my littlies unless they could cope with it. Times may have changed, but when I went it was fiercely competitive, the only option was university and the thick ones (me lol) didn't sit Oxbridge exams! Retrospectively it wasn't the rounded education I would want for my littlies.

I'm abit at a loss why there is so much emphasis now on academic achievement when it doesn't really mean that much a few years down the line in career terms. I earn far more pro rata now in an alternative career which has nothing to do with my exams!:eek:

Obviously if the littlies begin to demonstrate a talent for academia then I will coach as necessary, but I don't really see it as a big deal if their talents lie elsewhere. Despite government rhetoric and the mumblings of the teaching profession, there is more to life than passing exams!

I'll get my coat

posh*spice

maverickangel wrote: »

I'm a 66 vintage . I completely agree with your post. I bred late in life, so think I've skipped a mind set in education. I am at a complete loss why there appear to be so many convinced that with "the right education" or enough cramming, their child will be the academic elite.

For my children, who are pre-schoolers ATM, all I want is for them to do their best and be happy. I don't really mind if they don't do well academically, as in all honesty I don't think exam results are the deciding factor in income prospects long term, going by my experience.

As I said, I went to Grammar school, but would not want that for my littlies unless they could cope with it. Times may have changed, but when I went it was fiercely competitive, the only option was university and the thick ones (me lol) didn't sit Oxbridge exams! Retrospectively it wasn't the rounded education I would want for my littlies.

I'm abit at a loss why there is so much emphasis now on academic achievement when it doesn't really mean that much a few years down the line in career terms. I earn far more pro rata now in an alternative career which has nothing to do with my exams!:eek:

Obviously if the littlies begin to demonstrate a talent for academia then I will coach as necessary, but I don't really see it as a big deal if their talents lie elsewhere. Despite government rhetoric and the mumblings of the teaching profession, there is more to life than passing exams!

I'll get my coat

Well said Lucky kids to have you as a parent;)

Janabiyah-Jane

Discodee wrote: »

Household income of 40K????????


Jane, have you not looked at other schools? I moved my kids from one primary to a different one a few miles away. My DS is still there. It was 500% better than the first. I moved them more for social reasons as they were both high achievers but the new school is MILES better and children are grouped according to ability and are stretched and helped regardless of how bright they are. They're all encouraged to reach their potential which is all you can ask of your child. You cannot make a below average child a genius, that's how it is, but you CAN get your child to reach their full potential. (Not saying your child is below av btw, I am talking generally)
And all children have strengths. Some may struggle at maths but excel at art. others may excel at sport.

I certainly wouldn't deprive your child of holidays when there are several good schools around. Good luck

Yes we have looked at other state schools, there are not many in the area. We have the First school, Middle School and High school system here. There is only one high school and I am not at all happy about my daughter going there. Believe me if there was a decent state school we would certainly try it. However I am not willing to put my child through different schools to find none are suitable. This is not a decision we have made overnight, it has been brewing for a couple of years!
My children were born overseas and have visited many other countries around the world already. We are all well travelled, my husband and I having been expats most of our lives! I don't believe that holidays are everything we enjoy doing lots together, walking and biking and picnicing in the peak district (not far from us) museums etc..

Doom_and_Gloom

Personally I see it as the holidays can come later in life in need be. Yes they can be educational, however you usually only get one shot at certain parts of school as a child so I see that as more important. I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks this. So people saying why send your child(ren) to private schools that would be my answer if I knew it was the only option left for my child(ren) to have a decent education when I have a child/children. I’m not going to be strict and say the academic route is the only option as my dad was an apprentice a long time ago (has been on a very well paid job for over 30 years due to it to), my partners aspiration is jewellery making and I know that carpentry and other non academia skills are very well paid also. I do however want to give them enough chance to do something academic based if they wish to and I if it is the only option so be it. I do not see a problem with giving a child the option of doing something.

sjaypink

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I feel now I have been criticised for
a) sending my daughter to private school
b) supporting grammar schools
c) being a single parent

And I have been very nearly accused of God knows what regarding the payment of my daughter's school fees!
So I will leave this thread that is just now so obscure!
Good luck in your debate!
Emma.

god u r oversensitive..... just been on the benefits threads again and there is some proper bashing going on there if u want to experience real critisism.

i have spent time as a (happily) single parent in the past but that does not mean that i am now going to assume people linking breakdown of families and various social problems are personally critisising me............... you would have to be pretty narrow minded to not recognise this yourself anyhow, no matter what your own situation is.

as for the paying of school fees, well i can see your peed off with me about that but perhaps your defensiveness is a slight display of understanding.....

im not against people on benefits, i too have claimed income support before, i (probably in a tiny minority) believe in a benefits system. however i do find it annoying when people appear to take more than the next, i have a friend who brags about getting a boob job on the nhs, because she pretended to cry in front of a few doctors. we all know of the guy who has a bad back but happily does a bit of cash in hand labouring.

of course i have no idea how you fund private ed., as another poster said, probably a savings account from grandparents. and quite right if it is not a case of fraud (of course not suggesting it is) then it is nobody elses business.

but, i couldn't not write anything after reading your post re poorer kids not achieving ; 'i can't be responsible for everyone!'
well actually if we are all to move foward (yes im a closet hippy!) i genuinely believe we do all have to be responsible for eachother- education system, communities, benefits system. and since you receive from that system i will concede your comment did wind my 'hippy' right up!

i am not claiming to know all the answers of how to do this, but i know that believing this and trying my best to help others is the only way i can really provide a better future for my children. after all it is the big wide world they end up in, not the private school, top uni, or big surburban house.

Dick_here

Mado wrote: »

And I was informed by SIl that at their schools, any child showing an aptitude for music is encourage to take at least 2 instruments and singing. Now at £20 for 30 min each, that soon adds up. (and to think I thought my DD's £12.5 lessons were expensive...)

At the secondary school that we've just got a place at, playing an instrument is "expected" at £100 for the loan of the instrument for the year...

It's a 'Music Specialist College' - state secondary to you and me

Discodee

maverickangel wrote: »

I'm a 66 vintage . I completely agree with your post. I bred late in life, so think I've skipped a mind set in education. I am at a complete loss why there appear to be so many convinced that with "the right education" or enough cramming, their child will be the academic elite.

For my children, who are pre-schoolers ATM, all I want is for them to do their best and be happy. I don't really mind if they don't do well academically, as in all honesty I don't think exam results are the deciding factor in income prospects long term, going by my experience.

As I said, I went to Grammar school, but would not want that for my littlies unless they could cope with it. Times may have changed, but when I went it was fiercely competitive, the only option was university and the thick ones (me lol) didn't sit Oxbridge exams! Retrospectively it wasn't the rounded education I would want for my littlies.

I'm abit at a loss why there is so much emphasis now on academic achievement when it doesn't really mean that much a few years down the line in career terms. I earn far more pro rata now in an alternative career which has nothing to do with my exams!:eek:

Obviously if the littlies begin to demonstrate a talent for academia then I will coach as necessary, but I don't really see it as a big deal if their talents lie elsewhere. Despite government rhetoric and the mumblings of the teaching profession, there is more to life than passing exams!

I'll get my coat

Exactly
Mine are both very bright and I encourage them all i can, but have always felt anyway that kids learn best through play/fun.
I also, although i fully expect them to do well academically, don't think education is the be all and end all. As I said their health and happiness comes first. I take them out of school for 2 weeks a year to enjoy their holidays (Sorry can't afford them in holiday time) and yesterday as I had 4 free tickets 2 Alton towers from the sun collect we went there for the day. And DS got up and played football this am and scored a blinder. Won the ball in his own half and skimmed down the wing past 4 opposition and scored from the wing!:T great stuff!

Discodee

meantto say, when I said
(They weren't big on it at my primary but made no odds; as someone said, bright kids will do well anywhere if so inclined. (I wasn't but still passed all my O levels lmao) )
I WAS bright, I just didn't have the inclination! My parents still berate me now. However I wouldn't change a thing

The reason I didnt care was, my life revolved around horses from the age of 8 and at 11 I began saving for my own. At 13 I got a paper round which boosted the savings and also paid for his keep once I acquired my pony in 1977 at almost 14.
All I cared about was doing my paper round then seeing to my pony.
He remained my faithful pal long after i married, and my eldest was 7mths old the day he died, in 1995, aged 24.

OK I didn't do A levels (though I did my A level Biol at college when my DS started school) but saving for and caring for my pony taught me the value of money and I can manage on a shoe string and have never once in my life been in any debt other than my mortgage. In fact people wonder how we do the things we do. It's cos I am a manager, and that's something they DON'T teach you in school. I could have got a well paid job and been hopeless at managing my generous salary. Who knows??
Que sera sera (is that spelt correctly? Foreign languages is not my forte!)

conradmum

maverickangel wrote: »

I'm a 66 vintage . I completely agree with your post. I bred late in life, so think I've skipped a mind set in education. I am at a complete loss why there appear to be so many convinced that with "the right education" or enough cramming, their child will be the academic elite.

For my children, who are pre-schoolers ATM, all I want is for them to do their best and be happy. I don't really mind if they don't do well academically, as in all honesty I don't think exam results are the deciding factor in income prospects long term, going by my experience.

As I said, I went to Grammar school, but would not want that for my littlies unless they could cope with it. Times may have changed, but when I went it was fiercely competitive, the only option was university and the thick ones (me lol) didn't sit Oxbridge exams! Retrospectively it wasn't the rounded education I would want for my littlies.

I'm abit at a loss why there is so much emphasis now on academic achievement when it doesn't really mean that much a few years down the line in career terms. I earn far more pro rata now in an alternative career which has nothing to do with my exams!:eek:

Obviously if the littlies begin to demonstrate a talent for academia then I will coach as necessary, but I don't really see it as a big deal if their talents lie elsewhere. Despite government rhetoric and the mumblings of the teaching profession, there is more to life than passing exams!

I'll get my coat

I'm one year older than you but had two of my children young, so I now have an 18 and a 15 year old. I think one thing you have to bear in mind is that things have changed since we were in education. When I went to university I was in quite a small minority. I regularly vet job application forms from people my age and most don't have a degree (these are people applying to be adult education tutors). Also, lots of colleagues my age don't have a degree. For people of our generation it isn't expected.

However now the Government's aim is to get 50% of school leavers on degree courses. For the job applicants of our children's generation, having a degree is going to be a basic requirement for many jobs.

Also, achieving in the classroom compared to the other children is important for a child's self-image and self-esteem. Ds1 was born in early Sept, so was always the oldest in his class. Because he was older, he could do things better than other children and this experience, I believe anyway, has contributed to his belief in his ability to succeed. It would be much harder for a child to feel this if they see the other children consistently doing better than them. Children are very aware of the ability hierarchy in their class from quite an early age.

What I'm trying to say (I think!) is that it's easy to look at your pre-schoolers and think how wonderful they are and know that you will always love them no matter how well or badly they do academically. I know this is true because I've felt it myself. And I know too that plenty of people live happy fulfilled lives without an exam to their name. But at the end of the day exam results do count and can make your children's future lives better than otherwise.

My children are at state schools and I don't even know what they're doing half the time, let alone pressure them into doing it, but I do make them aware that they're working for their future benefit - not mine or their teachers' praise. I let them know I believe they can do very well if they put in the work and so far they have. These things are important IMO.

Spendless

PasturesNew wrote: »

I think what you're mainly buying with a private education is the contacts side of things. It's not what you know it's who you know. The old boys' club and all that.

If you go to private school, your mates and their parents will be well connected. Together they seem to work together to tip each other off about good jobs etc. This works throughout their lives. If you're out of work you'll have the contacts to tap into and they all know people who know people ... who can set you up in your next well paid good job.

That's where the true value lies: job security from who you know.

The good results you get from the teaching methods; the easier access to Uni (being taught how to apply and having the right exam passes); these are all part of the parcel of "who you know". Success by association.

No matter how lovely they are, Bob who got a job as a part-time cleaner at the bus depot and Mary who works Thursday nights at the chippy really don't have the contacts to help get you good and well paid jobs when you want or need them.

I have worked with several 'hooray henry' sons of local businessman, all educated privately/at grammar schools. A few of them have managed to close down the business their dad built up from scratch, the others from what I saw are likely to do same, once their old man actually retires. A good dose of starting at the bottom in a chippy or cleaning buses might have actually done them some good.