Private school fees (merged)

borntobefree

emsywoo123 wrote: »

So is this debate turning into "should you spend your money on private school or save for uni?"

Unless you are uber rich, not paying school fees means you are in a better position to help your kids through uni. However, I do realise everyone's financial circumstances are different and that some people are able to afford school fees, uni costs, houses and holidays etc easily. For the rest of it is a choice. I don't want my kids to come out of uni with loads of debt. We have been saving for uni since our kids were born (that savings pot is coming along very nicely:p). I also want to help them with deposits for a home, weddings, etc etc.
Anyway, I'm sure we'd all agree on one thing - kids are not cheap:D:eek:

natalie1974

borntobefree wrote: »

Totally agree with you. Having local friends was important to me too.

All the kids at DD1's school are local though , apart from DD1 as we moved out of the area (Medway) and into Crayford when I met OH . I chose to keep her at the school and make the daily 130 mile commute so as she stays with her mates .

natalie1974

borntobefree wrote: »

Unless you are uber rich, not paying school fees means you are in a better position to help your kids through uni. However, I do realise everyone's financial circumstances are different and that some people are able to afford school fees, uni costs, houses and holidays etc easily. For the rest of it is a choice. I don't want my kids to come out of uni with loads of debt. We have been saving for uni since our kids were born (that savings pot is coming along very nicely:p). I also want to help them with deposits for a home, weddings, etc etc.
Anyway, I'm sure we'd all agree on one thing - kids are not cheap:D:eek:

You're right there , they are not cheap and well done with the savings pot :T How lucky your kids are to have parents like you

Mado

natalie1974 wrote: »

I chose to keep her at the school and make the daily 130 mile commute so as she stays with her mates .

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
I am simply gobsmacked by this. Can't be cheap on fuel either...
I think you should review your and your daugther's priorities. But that's my opinion.
We came back from Australia after an assignement a few years ago. I was scared of how my children would settle in their new school with regards to friends. I think it took about a month. She now has best friends locally and long distance pen friends.

Coupon-mad

My gob was smacked by that 130 mile commute as well! :eek: Does anyone else on here do a longer school run than that? I guess she means it's 65 miles each way, OMG I cannot imagine doing that every day.

Spendless

natalie1974 wrote: »

All the kids at DD1's school are local though , apart from DD1 as we moved out of the area (Medway) and into Crayford when I met OH . I chose to keep her at the school and make the daily 130 mile commute so as she stays with her mates .

Then how does your daughter have local friends that she can call on to play with after school, or at w/ends, school holidays, if she's at school 65 miles away from where she lives.

Mado

Spendless wrote: »

Then how does your daughter have local friends that she can call on to play with after school, or at w/ends, school holidays, if she's at school 65 miles away from where she lives.

can I also possibly ask how she gets the time to do all this, with 2 hours driving to and from school every day?

natalie1974 wrote: »

She does 45 mins ballroom on Mondays , until half term she did 30 mins swimming lesson on Tuesdays , Wednesdays 1 1/2 hrs Brownies , Thursdays 30 mins ballet and then after that 1 hour ice skating and again until half term Fridays were 15 mins private ice skating lesson but she could stay on the ice for an hour if she wanted to . All of the above she wants/wanted to do . !

natalie1974

Firstly its 65 mile round trip in the morning and 65 mile round trip in the afternoon . It takes me on a good day approx 25-30 mins , travelling at 56mph for fuel consumption purposes in my diesel car . I am lucky that I live very close to the motorway junction and DD1's school is literally 2 mins from Farthing Corner services on the M2 , so I come off at the services and then down the country lanes to her school . On a bad day , if there are lots of accidents on the motorway then I have 2 choices , sit in the traffic for anything up to 4-5 hours or go round my sisters house in Gillingham , 10 mins from the school and then we go out shopping .

Mado - My priorities and my daughter's are both fine thank you , she does not suffer at all in any way shape or form . It does not take me 2 hours a day driving , only 1 hour split between the 2 journeys .

Spendless - Yes , she has several friends round here , this is mainly a commuter area so not that many kids but there is a little boy aged 8 next door and a little girl aged 8 over the road and they all play together . She also goes to Brownies with the girl over the road , so she has lots of interaction with other local girls that go to her Brownie group .

She finishes school at 3.45pm , so on a Monday we drive round the corner (5 min drive) and then wait for Ballroom to start , 4.30pm to 5.15pm . In the time we are waiting we go through her homework writing out in rough the spelling sentences she will need to write up neat on the Wednesday night but as she has the spellings on the Monday we go through it then . Then she comes out , gets in the car and and we are home by 6pm . I cook dinner and she is bathed and in bed by 8.30pm .
Tuesday is now straight home but was swimming 4.30pm-5pm so by the time we got there and she got changed it was 4.20pm , again straight out and in car and home by 5.45pm . Homework done at home .
Wednesday is straight home for Brownies , in doors by 4.30pm , has dinner and thens goes out 5.30pm-7pm . Homework done before Brownies .
Thursday is ballet 5.30pm-6pm so we go to Virgin , she has something to eat , does her homework then had her ballet lesson . Then straight into car to go to the Ice Bowl 6.30pm-7.30pm for ice skating club if she wants to go , again into car and home by 8.30pm at latest and straight to bed .
Friday is now shopping after school till I pick DD2 up from nursery at approx 5.30pm but it was private ice skating lesson 4.30pm-4.45pm then to the nursery to collect my youngest at approx 5.30pm and then maybe go shopping or go straight home if so we would be in by 6.15pm . Homework done over the weekend .

She does all this off her own back , she wants to do these things , if she doesn't want to go all she does is say and I don't bother taking her .

I trust the above covers everything but feel free to ask anything I may have missed .

ETA : She is the brightest girl in her class so her schoolwork obviously isn't suffering .

Shoshannah

3plus1 wrote: »

If you make the decision to send your DD to private secondary school and not to private primary school, that gives you 7 odd years to save up more money and be able to a) afford school fees and b) afford all the extras like expensive school trips. If you are scrimping now, there is no way you're going to be afford to let your DD go to New York with all her 'rich' friends when the school says that's where her class is going next.

7 years is long enough to invest on the stock market (make use of your ISA stocks allowance each year) and see out any temporary 'blips'.

I went to a state primary school that was quite frankly rubbish, but it didn't do me any harm. When I went to a private secondary school, I was one of the brightest kids amongst my peer group. When we got streamed, I ended up in all of the top sets for each subject. Not trying to show off, but trying to point out that primary school really isn't that important.

I know you want to give your DD the best start in life, but I do think it makes more sense to invest the money in her secondary education - she'll get much more out of it. If you couldn't afford to buy her the same clothes as her peers in primary school, she probably wouldn't remember that. But if you can't afford to let her go away with all of her mates in secondary school - that feeling is going to last a wee bit longer. Plus she might gain some 'cultural awareness' from foreign trips.

Not quite what you were looking for, but I hope it helps a bit anyway.

PS Don't forget to look into bursaries for a) low parental income and b) smart kids! A friend of mine, who was incredibly bright, lost her father when she was relatively young. Because her mum had a low-ish income (she wasn't married so her partner's income didn't count) and my friend was really clever, she got through secondary school without paying a penny. Deserved it too.

Agree. I went to a state primary and did pretty averagely I guess.

I then attended a private secondary school. There is no way my poor parents could have afforded this, fortunately I won a scolarship there. I did pretty well.

Almost exactly as mentioned above, I was the one left behind with the teacher when the rest of my class went on a school trip to Greece. My parents did offer to try and find the money for me to go, but I knew it would be too hard so I genuinely didn't mind staying behind.

I'm grateful I got the chance for a private secondary education - much more important than private primary education. State education allows you to mix with a much bigger variety of people too.

anonymousie

borntobefree wrote: »

Totally agree with you. Having local friends was important to me too.

Interesting Q.

My 12 and 14yr old are state educated at a selective school. Thier friends do come from all over the city, BUT because they travel by bus there is a bias towards friends that live locally to meet up out of school hours etc. It also means they have a friendship group that is not necessarily just their year group, which seems great esp for DS (who plays playground rugby with kids much older than him etc).