Private school fees (merged)

borntobefree

benood wrote: »

I thought this thread had reached its end but great to see it rise again phoenix like - I'm interested that B2bf you were privately educated but have decided it is rubbish - what were the things that led you to that conclusion - surely not just the academic research showing there is no difference in exam performance?

I didn't say my education was rubbish!:D Both me & my hubby went to (ex Grammar) fee paying schools 'cos we are off a certain age *cough*. In the 70's nearly all these school places were assisted places and didn't cost anywhere near the sort of money we are talking about these days and required only a limited sacrifice by our parents really. Nowadays, the sort of money people spend on fees is eye watering and I look at the cost and just wonder how people think it's worth it (- see I'm repeating myself again;)) Our kids are in the state sector and they are getting a great education but I do keep on top of it - I help them with revision, they have music tutors, plenty of books, their own computer & lovely friends. I don't know what else they could need really?:D

If I'm being honest, however, I don't like anything that smacks of elitism. There is also alot of research that shows that kids who go to grammar schools and private schools actually lack self-esteem because they continually have to compete and never feel good at anything. I'm not saying state schools are perfect. In the end for me it is all about the money (and we could afford it) - but that's ok cos this is MSE.;)

meester

posh*spice wrote: »

Hi

I have to agree with b2bf it does seem like an awful lot of money and nobody has real explained what you get for it. I must admit I hadn't really realised it was anything like as expensive as that. I'm surprised anyone can afford it at all? What with that and Uni fees too.:eek:

Well in my son's case you get a child who is far academically progressed from when he was at state school. Eventually this could translate into better exam results, better job prospects and more success in later life.

Beyond this, there is the experience of witnessing the ghastly kids hanging around outside the local state school thinking 'I never want my child to turn out like that'.

There is also a distinct lack of parents like this, with their resultant offspring:

http://tomisswithlove.blogspot.com/2008/04/major-concern.html

meester

borntobefree wrote: »

If I'm being honest, however, I don't like anything that smacks of elitism. There is also alot of research that shows that kids who go to grammar schools and private schools actually lack self-esteem because they continually have to compete and never feel good at anything.

a lot of research? care to cite any?

not sure I agree with your thesis, which appears to be 'children shouldn't compete because somebody has to lose'. tough. that's life.

borntobefree

meester wrote: »

a lot of research? care to cite any?

not sure I agree with your thesis, which appears to be 'children shouldn't compete because somebody has to lose'. tough. that's life.

No TBH I can't cite the research of the top of my head (I just read it somewhere), but when we are thinking about schooling we all pick up the bits that help support our own conclusions I suppose. I personaly don't like an over competitive environment BUT it is all about the money with me I just could never get my head around those eye watering figures - that's all it is. But no I'm not in the slightest bit competitive either;)

borntobefree

meester wrote: »

Beyond this, there is the experience of witnessing the ghastly kids hanging around outside the local state school thinking 'I never want my child to turn out like that'.

http://tomisswithlove.blogspot.com/2008/04/major-concern.html

Being honest though aren't there kids like that everywhere? There are plenty of "posh" kids you think you wouldn't want your kids to be like too surely. My kids have loads of nice friends and I'm sure they are around loads of kids I wouldn't like so much.

Anyway, I suspect you have plenty of money and it's not an issue.

Mado

borntobefree wrote: »

No TBH I can't cite the research of the top of my head (I just read it somewhere), but when we are thinking about schooling we all pick up the bits that help support our own conclusions I suppose. I personaly don't like an over competitive environment BUT it is all about the money with me I just could never get my head around those eye watering figures - that's all it is. But no I'm not in the slightest bit competitive either;)

I have heard and read the same research. On radio4 or similar reliable informed sources . can't tell you which university has conducted it.
But read an extremely interesting book that will also inform you on the subject; freakonomics.

I wasn't educated in this country and find the grammar school system appaling; in principles it should be good.
In practise? Dreadful, because of the parents expectations.
Nearly all the children in my DD's class are tutored for the 11+. It doesn't matter a tiny bit what the children want to do; it's all what the parents wants them to do. Those who don't pass get made to feel like failures, which is a very corrosive message.
We are made to feel guilty because there is a chance, that however clever she is she may not pass because she doesn't go to a private tutor. And this has nothing to do with money. The system is ridiculous.

borntobefree

Mado wrote: »

I have heard and read the same research. On radio4 . can't tell you which university has conduscted it.
But read an extremely interesting book that will also inform you on the subject; freakonomics.

I wasn't educated in this country and find the grammar school system appaling; in principles it should be good.
In practise? Dreadful, because of the parents expectations.
Nearly all the children in my DD's class are tutored for the 11+. It doesn't matter a tiny bit what the children want to do; it's all what the parents wants them to do. Those who don't pass get made to feel like failures, which is a very corrosive message.
We are made to feel guilty because there is a chance, that however clever she is she may not pass because she doesn't go to a private tutor. And this has nothing to do with money. The system is ridiculous.

Hi Mado

The British/ English (!) system probably is ridiculous Are you in one of the few grammar school areas? Is that why her class mates they are being tutored?

b2bf

Mado

borntobefree wrote: »

Hi Mado

The British/ English (!) system probably is ridiculous Are you in one of the few grammar school areas? Is that why her class mates they are being tutored?

b2bf

We are in a grammar school area right on the border with another non grammar school county. The decision as to which school she wants to apply for is left to her. Not us.
My DD is pure grammar school material; very smart and hard working. She will do well regardless of where she goes.
I'd much rather put finance aside for my kids Uni than for private school.

mymatebob

borntobefree wrote: »

Hi Mado

The British/ English (!) system probably is ridiculous Are you in one of the few grammar school areas? Is that why her class mates they are being tutored?

b2bf

There is no "British" education system

borntobefree

Hi Mado,

I'm sure the academic outcome will be the same whatever school she goes to. I hope she finds nice friends. Does she have nice firends already? Do you think our system is "not so good"? How does it compare with other countries?