Elantan's enjoying her excellent adventure

elantan

so ive told him i am moving into the spare room for a while i think we both need space to sort out what it is we want from our relationship/lives he didnt take this very well but did try to put the blame on me which if it helps him i told him i would take ....as i really dont care who is to blame whats done is done and cant be undone and i dont bother about what people think of me where as he does...so i am going to try and get back to bed for a sleep then start moving some things into the other room ...have alot of planning to do i think ...

first things first neither of us can afford to rent a place out on our own and withthe housing market going the way it is we cant sell so i think we will share for the mean time

now he earns alot more than me and i cant afford to pay the bills as much as he can..but it isnt fair on him paying for more than his fare share.... so i dont know how i am going to work the finanaces but will give it a thought while i am sleeping

elantan

on the kinda bright side though we did get a whole 20 litres of water from the dehumidifier this morning so that is a good sign that it is working

hypno06

Oh hun, I am sorry things have got to this stage. But you are right in that you both need space of some sort. What happens from here is anyone's guess, it is early days. Don't have any expectations from yourself, OH or the general situation. Let things settle and they will find a natural way forward.

In the meantime, make sure you look after yourself - you need energy for uni etc and that is most important.

elantan

thats the way i am looking at it hypno i think we both need the space just now i hope we wont be finished but will face the future whatever happens ....wow been with a guy for 21 years nearly and this is the closest we have ever been to seperating its strange

boredofbeingathome

Holy moley missus. I am sorry i wasn't about yesterday. All i can say is that having met you both i am surprised it has come to this, as you are both very supportive of each other. I am sure it is just a hiccough and will sort it self out fairly quickly. I think you are doing the right thing giving each other space to think things through. Hope you have managed some rest as well. I also think that it may help when you are both rested and feeling better as well as Mr. EL has been under weather quite a bit as have you with knee and pain..take it easy hun. You know where i am if you want a natter or anything.x

ZTD

Oh babe! :grouphug:

Really sorry to hear this. Most important thing is to try to keep lines of communication open. You're right - blame is not important.

Just remember that with the alcohol, the pain-killers and the worry about his job, he probably doesn't have a single solitary logical thought in his body.

Then of course add pride the day after, and you have a recipe you wouldn't inflict on your worse enemy.

Take some time for you both to collect your thoughts, but just keep talking.

:grouphug:

jinky67

El ((((hugs)))) babe
you know where i am if you want to come for tea and sympathy
or ranting and raving:cool:

I will join in too...dont worry:rolleyes:

mizmir

Sorry it has reached this point but you are doing the sensible thing in giving each other space. After so long together it will be hard to contemplate anything else - and certainly as others have said, I am sure Mr El is not himself with the alcohol, pain etc. The space gives you both a chance to think about what you want.

Keep looking after yourself hun - that has to be your absolute top priority. And take your time. Hugs.

Karmacat

Hello El

Just here to add my hugs, and reinforcing what others have said, from Bob and Z onwards.... awful cocktail of issues affecting him and you, physical pain in particular does terrible things to us.... calming and resting sound good right now.

elantan

thanks everyone for all your support and understanding we have been spending the last few days talking about things and trying to understand what has happened ...things are moving along slowly as i am very aware that a few years ago something much worse happened and i swore then i would never put myself in a situation with hubby where i felt unsafe again and although that didnt happen the other night it could very easily have reached that level and i am a pain for insisting on being respected and not giving second chances which is something i have to work on