The plop-age chronicles! Oh bums I'll have no internerd connection for a bit

silvercar

nelly wrote: »

Sorry no updates I've not heard nowt.

I'd guess they are looking into the plans of drains sewage in the area first.

Your optimism astounds. Me thinks they are still playing minesweeper.

Maybe they have their own version sh1tsweeper?

clutton_2

empty houses often contain boilers - yummy !!!! tuns of munny !!

price of copper has rocketed lately - we'll be needing to put security in place soon .... maybe the NinjaTurdleSecurityForce can come and protect my boiler and pipework ???

mcmoby69

i am a plumber based in bury, i dont know nelly but he has a similar mindset to myself. nice to see a healthy interest in poo!

nelly's got a decking
with a river view thats super
sadly what is bad for him
theres a dirty rotten pooper

he sits upon his decking
in his peaceful tranquil spot
when suddenly in the trickling
theres a sudden awful PLOP!
he rolls his eyes
puts down his beer
and leans to look at it
its floating down the river
yet another piece of sh*t

he rang the man at north west water
i say 'i've got a pooper'
' sort it out yourself' he said
'or we'll send around a snooper'

he tested all the drains himself
and used two pints of milk
he should have bought some tracing dye
the dozy northern p*ll*ck.

now he's waiting for a man to come
with drawings of pies for sh*t
he's going to say 'just look at this
which one do you think is it?'

nelly starts to scratch his *rse
ideas begin to dawn
i'll start it street by street he thinks
i'll feed the b*st*rds CORN!

he nicks a trolley from asda
such a wicked clever chap
'when they've eaten all of this
it'll show up in their cr*p!'

'how can i make them ALL eat this
by the tin and by the bucket?
i a need a more subtle way....
cant think of it...
OH FORGET IT!!!!

nellys now back on his decking
he cracks a can to chug it
he lifts the can up to his lips......
PLOP!!!:mad:

ANOTHER F*&%$£G NUGGET!!!!:eek:

clutton_2

moby - what a corker of a pome !!!!!!! I'm laughing fit to burst and may well soon need the "Billy Connolly Incontinence Knickers/Trousers ""

what is it about norfern plumbers - great sense of humour ---

My A*rse as Jim Royle would say ..... !!!!!

zebulon

mcmoby69 wrote: »

i am a plumber based in bury, [...ode to nelly and the turd saga ....]

and my neighbour wonders why she's waiting so long to get her shower fixed .... :rolleyes:


welll, ok it's not true and i have no idea where Bury is anyway (somewhere in england I would imagine)

nelly_2

No news at all.

But I managed to get some scrap lads to take the railing away its all rotten the decking so its going but the railing weighed a ton and I coulnt be bothered so thats a result

Oh and weirdly the gave me a nearly new drill thats worth about £100 never asked for a penny neither????

Odd but a right result non the less

PasturesNew

nelly wrote: »

No news at all.

But I managed to get some scrap lads to take the railing away its all rotten the decking so its going but the railing weighed a ton and I coulnt be bothered so thats a result

Oh and weirdly the gave me a nearly new drill thats worth about £100 never asked for a penny neither????

Odd but a right result non the less

Probably felt sorry for you ... what he took away is probably worth £1000 this week :P

waddy80

Nelly, just wanted to say this thread is hilarious and I will be watching with baited breath.

nelly_2

PasturesNew wrote: »

Probably felt sorry for you ... what he took away is probably worth £1000 this week :P

£100 per ton for scrap steel, there was maybe half a ton....dunno not bothered, by time Id got it down loaded it in a van and driven to a scrap yard and unloaded it agin I'd have earnt double that at work.....false economy init.

red_bertie

Not to mention the hernia you'd get luggging it.......