Husband spent half the rent money on booze

jak

He can see that i'm upset but I think he doesn't understand the enormity of the problem. I think it's an imaturity problem rather than a drink problem as he doesn't tend to drink for ages then he'll have a bit of a binge kind of thing. A bit annoying but not too much of a worry in terms of the drink side of things. He can't access credit thank god. He has nothing to show for previous spending. Not an excusse for him but have to say his family are exacly the same. When they visited last summer they ran out of money after a week and had to extend their credit card to survive. (But still went out every night for dinner and ate starter, main and desert plus lots of drinks!!! I was horrified)So he's grown up with total disregard for money. Although I was brought up to not borrow and always budget and it's taken me long enough- so it doesn't make that much of a difference!

tallyhoh

I spend a lot of my time reading old newspaper archives. A lovely idea was to be fined for "failure to support your family". A wife could take hubby to court for not paying the housekeeping or spending it on drink.

Time to bring it back!!!

Persolv0

I do think as a shock tactic watching the film is a good idea as the Father lets his family down in the worst possible ways and seeing the results from the outside looking in may be just what he needs

But ultimately you want a relationship built on trust and partnership to go from strenth to strenth and to positively support each other.
Hopefully he is just showing immaturity, but if there is a drink problem behind this and he wont change then you will seriously have to review your position before he drags you down .....I sincerely hope hes just taking a bit of time to grow up a bit but he has to see its a no brainer....his family come first

Best of luck...

jak

Midlands Mum, i was just ready your post and thinking of the similarities! How funny. Thanks, I think I will have to take charge and he'll just have to put up with it. If it's that or LEAVE then he doesn't have much of a choice really. I didn't want to have to do that but I think I might have to for my sanity!!!How are you? Are you ok? It sounds like you've sorted your chap out now!?

MidlandsMum

He's had no choice but to be sorted out! I'm very good, thanks. Just pleased that I dont have to worry about him messing up my plan. I'm not expecting it to be easy, but he's started to realise that it's my way or serious financial trouble. I'll relent in a month or so and bung him an extra tenner one week to thank him for putting up with my plan, but I know he will be really thanking me in about 2 years when we are preparing for Florida and making the house look great.

jak

That's it isn't it./ They want the good things in life but don't want to work at it. (Well that's my husbands bag anyway)Glad ur doing so well. U give me hope....Jx

alanobrien

Sorry to hear this its apalling and he needs a serious priority check as it appears friends matter to him more than family. You must be incredibly tolorant to put up with such behaviour, i hope it works out for you.

jak

Thanks guys. Got to go nowWill check back in 2morrowxxx

dancingfairy

Perhaps it is a maturity issue. Maybe he is absolotuley petrified about his responsibilities and doesn't know how to cope. Perhaps he think you will be more into the new baby than him, maybe he is just trying to salvage a little bit of his freedom? I don't know but it is possible he may change when the baby comes. Can you have a chat with him and see if there is something scaring him about the future? Only you know how bad it is and whether it can be resolved or not. I think making plans for yourself and getting some savings together will give you some confidence just in case you need to get out. I hope things work out for you one way or another. Stay strong and get some counselling for you both.
Good Luck

bathgatebuyer

Always remember a family back home lost their house because the hubby carried on like that. My Mum and the neighbour were chatting about it and he was always spending down the pub. Sort of stuck with me that maybe my parents splitting up at an early age was no bad thing for us given the immaturities of men.

I feel really bad about your situation - what age are you if I can be so bold?