Husband spent half the rent money on booze

Seaxwyn

Hi Jak, poor you, what a horrible situation, I would be furious if my OH did that.

It sounds a good idea to just give him a small amount of spending money each week. He has shown he is not responsible enough to have access to your joint money.

Relate does charge - I rang up once myself and was put off by the price they quoted - but they may have a sliding scale, it's certainly worth ringing them to find out.

jak

Thanks everyone. We don't have joint accounts but king of pool our money to pay bills etc. All the debts ar ein my name as he can't get credit (thank god he can't can you imagine!!!) I think an allowance is a good idea although at the moment I can't imagine giving him any money! I can cover the money he spent but I almost don't want to. It feels like i'm always doing that!My baby has to take priority obviously but being a single Mum wasnt part of my plan really!!! Also we are waiting for husbands Visa to come through so basically if we seperate, then he might not be able to stay in the UK anyway so I need to make the right decision about that. I feel so confused about everything.Jx

jamtart6

Jak, its never as simple as black and white is it, especially whn you are in that situation.

Does he realise it is a problem?

jak

He does see the problem, but not enough to stop spending really. That is what I can't understand. It's as basic as keeping a roof over our heads. You can't get anymore crucial than that and I can't get it throguh his head. This is the worst thing he has ever done and I just don't think he gets it. I need to make a drastic change but I don't know what.

jamtart6

Definitely the pocket money! and feed him baked beans for 6 weeks and see if that gets the message through! Whatever you do, try and stay calm, its no good for your baby!

RAS

jak wrote: »

Also we are waiting for husbands Visa to come through so basically if we seperate, then he might not be able to stay in the UK anyway so I need to make the right decision about that.

Jak, I am sorry but if he knows that getting his visa is dependant on being a good boy and he is doing this now, when he gets the visa, you can forget it. The situation is not likely to get better. Can you get hold of Relate? if you cannot afford it, they may know someone else you could speak to.

jak

I'm trying to stay calm. Baked beans it is.... And he can use the bloody value toilet paper. I'll keep you posted anyway.Jx

Persolv0

My way would be a little unorthadox

Id rent out Angelas ashes from the DVD store....(if you dont know the film a quick google will fill you in on it)sit down with him and watch it...when complete tell him firmly that your not going to be the long suffering wife on the film and what is He going to do to stop a repeat of his behaviour.

Although i think that going to relate now would be the best option ....but no one should suffer from someone elses drinking habits.

good luck to you and your family

jak

Got the number for Relate. I'll call them when I get homex

jamtart6

persolv! brill idea!!!

best of luck jak