How to have a baby without making debt?

[Deleted User]

Just another angle to think about, which occured to me whilst I read this is our situation.

We had our first when I was 31 and recently our second at just 33. So I am a similar age to you. We have found ourselves in a situation where for the first year of our son's life his dad hasn't been around much due to working long hours plus travelling. With our second we want to change this and make sure our son and daughter get some quality time with their father during the week as well not just the weekend.

How we do this is another matter which we are trying to find the answer to. My DH rarely gets home much before 7.30pm so Jack is in bed by then, usually its nearer 8, or 9 and sometimes after 11pm.

However we are looking into what else he could do to change our situation, i.e. a job that brings him home between 6-6.30pm to help with the children's bedtime routine, but the closer to home we look the less the wage, which we can't manage on. We couldn't drop to less than 30k. I am currently a SAHM. I considered working a shift at weekends to help, but the whole idea is to get more family time together and for Dad to be around more in the week for the children. Also I add that we live in the south east where living and housing costs are substantially higher. This is where we originate from and our family are, so we have no desire to move up north to cheaper locations, as again our quality of life seeing our families/cousins etc would also depreciate. We are close to our parents and siblings etc, so moving isn't an option and also we like where we live and its what we know.

So not only do you have to consider how to afford children, but also longer term, how to spend quality time with them and your husband, as you could find yourself in a situation to finally afford your child, but having to work all hours to do this and sacriface enjoying them and family time together.

Btw, I don't have any answers, we are still trying to find them ourselves, but we have a goal that within the next year, hubbie will be home more and we can all enjoy some quality bath-time/bedtime routines together. Rather than me doing it all and giving hubbie dinner on a plate re-heated when he rolls in and i'm heading off to bed.

Sorry to dissallusion you but I also think you need to think further ahead as well. I did know it was going to be like this with Jack and it didn't put me off, but our second was a suprise and its not easy. It just doesn't stop at "how to afford children but how to spend that quality time as a family".

Take care and good luck with all your combined decisions.

MadMonkey

Hi - please do not get a water meter !!

As a couple it would save you money but once you add children into the mix then it will cost you a fortune - they use a lot of water and the amount increases as they get bigger !!

I have 3 kids aged 6 and under and the washer is never off, the bath is run every day, hand washing uses a lot e.t.c

Also kids do tend to "forget" to turn the taps off

CFC

People say 'you manage' because you do. You'd probably even be eligible for working tax credits to help out a bit, as the upper limit is so high that 9 out of 10 families are eligible.

Put it this way, at the very worst, you go back to work owing a few thousand that you can pay off in the future.

A child? Priceless.

sdooley

affordmylife wrote: »

it so can be done.

my hubby and i are on a combined income of about £30,000 and have 5 children and a 6 bed house in a lovely area (with a huge mortgage) and we have a brilliant life. no of us go without anything.

i really totally cant see your problem at all.

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squarehead99

How to have a baby without making debt?

Simple really - save up and pay cash for the things you need.

missbee

affordmylife wrote: »

it so can be done.

my hubby and i are on a combined income of about £30,000 and have 5 children and a 6 bed house in a lovely area (with a huge mortgage) and we have a brilliant life. no of us go without anything.

i really totally cant see your problem at all.

Obviously I don't know your circumstances but I can't see that 'Huge mortgage' plus lovely area PLUS 5 kids PLUS income over 20K less than me is possible - surely something is wrong there??!! I see you're called 'affordmy life' - well what's the secret?? Let us all know!! Maybe you have family that help you out with money/childcare?? This seems incredible to me!!

arthur_dent_2

I have a 3 bed with a mortgage of less than the rent would be 2 children and an income considerably less than £30000 a year a LOT less in fact. I am happy and we do manage. Children are not about money, they are about a decent upbringing and love.

LilacPixie

:hello: Missbee.

The answer is well you just do. I am also the major wage earner coming in at around 27k with DH at the 20k mark so probably around 5k less than you guys.

We had our first little pixie in september 06 and are currently expecting pixie number 2 in the summer.

I am lucky, my employer gives us 26 weeks full pay then the remaining 13 weeks at SMP level which is around £115 per week. Effectivly I have to bridge 3 months of wages and we have no savings and around £23k of debt :eek:

Our mortgage lender allows you to take a payment holiday if you ask before hand. we have arranged to take jan, feb and march 09 off so where as interest still accrues we won't be penalised this is saying £570 per month alone.

Pop over to the up your income board to look for ways to make cash, I'm currently doing a few things and where as its not a fortune it is another 30-40 a month which is always handy no matter what the income.

It sounds strange but when the baby is actually here you will sacrifice anything to give to your child

You will also get around £72 every 4 weeks child benefit and £80 child tax credits for the first year after baby arrives.

PeskyPenguin

missbee wrote: »

Obviously I don't know your circumstances but I can't see that 'Huge mortgage' plus lovely area PLUS 5 kids PLUS income over 20K less than me is possible - surely something is wrong there??!! I see you're called 'affordmy life' - well what's the secret?? Let us all know!! Maybe you have family that help you out with money/childcare?? This seems incredible to me!!

It appears that you are amazed how anyone ever has a home and children :rolleyes:.

BTW, in your 10 year relationship did the 'are we going to have children in the future' conversation never happen between you and your partner? Not even before you took on a big mortage?

affordmylife

we live in east anglia on the coast in a lovely rural village. we have a 35 year mortgage of nearly £600 per month.

luckily our children are all at school so we have no childcare to account for but i have always worked right throught each pregnancy and straight back afterwards. i have always worked part time when hubby is at home (ie evenings and weekends) so we could share the childcare. personally i wouldnt chose nursery care for my child/children but that has the added advantege of cutting that cost.

we cycle or use our beat up old banger of a car when necessary. i cook everything from scratch. none of us would dream of buying food at work we all have a pack up.

we have a family holiday every year and we often go out bowling, cinema or a meal (well once a month or so!)

i dont feel we are hard done by at all. each person has a different set of priorities and we have managed to work ours out to suit our budget.

we have no debt.
our house is six bedroomed detached on a 'exclusive development' cost £205,000. three years ago so no we havent had it for years.

i hope that clears up some questions. feel free to ask any more.