How to have a baby without making debt?

missbee

I assume I will get basic SMP as have been with employer only a year. I would definitely use freecycle - so much baby stuff is plastic anyway.

I am a worrier and what worries me is that if we wait until we are in a better financial postition we will wait forever and, who knows, we may have problems conceiving. My husband told me 6 mths ago - lets wait 6 months and see - and nothing has changed! Do I have to face the fact of going into debt and sorting it out when I'm back at work or is this a really bad idea?

missbee

do_it_today! wrote: »

Hi Missbee :hello:
but this question has been on my mind for a few years now and we are expecting our first in December so - there isnt much time!

By the way - congrats!!!

Snafflepants

missbee wrote: »

I assume I will get basic SMP as have been with employer only a year. I would definitely use freecycle - so much baby stuff is plastic anyway.

I am a worrier and what worries me is that if we wait until we are in a better financial postition we will wait forever and, who knows, we may have problems conceiving. My husband told me 6 mths ago - lets wait 6 months and see - and nothing has changed! Do I have to face the fact of going into debt and sorting it out when I'm back at work or is this a really bad idea?

I would check it out -you may be pleasantly surprised as I had only been with the company 6 months before I found out I was pregnant and I still got the full wack - but I do appreciate I was/am very lucky....

In terms of extra costs the baby will cost you as much or as little as you personally want - people often go crazy - I know I did a little and when we start ttc for no.2 I'll be much more savvy.

Have you thought about writing down all your outgoings, income, assets etc - in the DFW forum its called a SOA (Statement of Affairs) - this will enable you to see if there are any areas you can cut back and save on.

Snaffle x

do_it_today!

I worry too best thing is to look at the figures and see what absolutely must get paid / could go -
find out the facts ie I know f/t child care would cost us £820pm so you have a clearer picture of costs involved if you continue to work or what you could save (by not working) for me the more information I have - the easier I find making a desicion.

Is staying at home with baby more important than having to live with a Lodger? (thats my current question)

would you rather have your home to yourself but not much time with your baby?
basically I generation Y (why cant I have it? - myself included) have been brought up to think we can have do be everything I am only just finding out this isnt the case and it does seem a case of either or.... you are right it might take you longer than you expect to concieve (it did for me) so you'll just have to make some tough choices - you always hear people say arrrr you just manage.... I guess there is only one way to find out really???

good luck - keep posting :T

beanynharrison

I was in a similar situation to you - main wage earner etc. When I had my first we managed to save about £1000 which covered the months I got basic smp. As a teacher I got half pay plus smp for a while. My mum bought our pram/carseat and the in laws bought the cot. Don't be afraid to tell people what you would like them to buy as pressies - a lot of our friends and relative asked us what we needed so you are not inundated with cute but impractical outfits!! Ebya is fab.

We did cut our outgoings like car insurance, clothing budget (now primark and supermarket)and gym membership. We are now expecting our second and DH is giving up his season ticket (I nearly went into shock!!) and have kept most of the things from ds so have very little to buy. I only work part time now and we haven't been able to save anything yet but have until about November until my wage seriously decreases to the basci smp.

You will also find that a lot of your outgoings are socialising - I know we spent a small fortune on meals out, bowling etc and believe me you will not be doing nearly as much of this when you have a baby.

Sorry if I have waffled but I wanted you to know that it is possible to take a cut in wages and still maintain a fairly similar style of living to which you are used to.

Rach x

missbee

beanynharrison wrote: »

I was in a similar situation to you - main wage earner etc. When I had my first we managed to save about £1000 which covered the months I got basic smp. As a teacher I got half pay plus smp for a while. My mum bought our pram/carseat and the in laws bought the cot. Don't be afraid to tell people what you would like them to buy as pressies - a lot of our friends and relative asked us what we needed so you are not inundated with cute but impractical outfits!! Ebya is fab.

We did cut our outgoings like car insurance, clothing budget (now primark and supermarket)and gym membership. We are now expecting our second and DH is giving up his season ticket (I nearly went into shock!!) and have kept most of the things from ds so have very little to buy. I only work part time now and we haven't been able to save anything yet but have until about November until my wage seriously decreases to the basci smp.

You will also find that a lot of your outgoings are socialising - I know we spent a small fortune on meals out, bowling etc and believe me you will not be doing nearly as much of this when you have a baby.


Rach x

Thanks,
I am reasured that you managed to get by without saving £10k first!
We do not socialise at all (boo hoo) and there is not season ticket or gym membership to be got rid of but I will admit to take-aways and SKY! However, even if I cancelled stuff like this(OMG no Lost??!) I think this would save about £200 which still leaves me quite short.
I am now off to see my friend and her new baby (guess what prompted this thread!!!) and will no doubt want a baby even more.

I really think I should look into this foreign student option as a long term lodger doesn't appeal.
Does anyone know how to find out about this????

starbump

Bearing in mind I don't know all your personal circumstances...

I would expect a household income of £53k to generate some savings or investments - even if it was just a few pounds in a piggy bank. A lot of people rent their homes and raise lovely families - you do not "need" to own a property. You say yourself that you have always lived to and beyond your means. Time for drastic lifestyle change...

Only buy goods on a new-for-old basis e.g. if your shoes get holes and you need to throw them away and replace them. eBay everything you haven't used in the last 6 months - when you have a baby, this will include about 99% of all your personal possessions. Change your groceries from branded to "value" products. Eat less meat; veggie meals cost less than meat-based meals and aren't so objectionable heated up 3 times in one evening. Stop going out to restaurants, etc - when you have a baby you will be too tired to do stuff so you might as well get used to it now. That includes anything on subscription that takes up your time e.g. magazines, the gym, satellite tv, etc. Cease all non-essential purchases including gadgets and beauty products - when you have a baby you will be glad to make it past the front door wearing clean clothes, shoes on both feet and a slick of baby lotion instead of baby sick on your stylish outfit, old slippers and what turns out to be the tv remote that looks like a cell phone. Give up the DIY projects and focus on: is it clean, is it mould-free, is it safe and will it dissolve in drool after being sucked/chewed/dribbled on by a baby? Any time you need to buy something essential for yourself or the house, first decide if it can be washed: if you can't wash it, then buy the cheapest you can get away with as it is destined for destruction via some form of baby "fluid".

If after all that, you still find your expenses to be higher than your income, then I guess you'll have to choose between your mortgage and a baby.

I know I haven't been completely serious here but I hope it's given you something to think about anyway.

do_it_today!

Some good advice Starbumps
thanks for the Congrats missbee :j

nicola1982_2

We have had a baby on a pretty low income. However I'm 25, I chose to do baby first, career later so the income drop hasn't been significant. We chose to rent until he's in school. The way we manage is essentially using just child benefit for his costs, babies don't actually cost that much, however you say you have a mortgage, which I imagine is your biggest financial commitment. I guess I'd just look at ways you can cut down. Things like bottles of wine, meals out etc all become things of the past anyway so you can cut that out of your budget. You walk more because you have the buggy so petrol costs will go down. Do you know anyone with a baby? I've saved tons borrowing baby stuff from my pal. She's expecting in July so I'm sending stuff back for new babies soon, plus she got all my old maternity clothes too.

jessicat_2

Based on my own experiences look into the following:

• You're still entitled to paid holidays so you you can accumulate as many holidays as poss to tag on to the start and end of your maternity leave.
• Look into what benefits you are entitled to - you get more for the first year.
• A lot of mortgage providers allow a 6 month mortgage break for a new baby - would it be worth paying a bit more later to have that breathing space when you're on maternity pay?
• Does your employer do childcare vouchers? This can save quite a bit on childcare.
• Look at returning to work on compressed hours - I used to work a 35 hour week over 5 days but intend returning on a 32 hour week over 4 days. The saving on childcare means there won't be a huge difference in my pre and post baby salary.
• Can you cut car costs by scaling down car size/only having 1 car?
• You will save a lot by but travelling to work and buying lunches etc.
• Make a deal with friends/family not to exchange xmas/birthday presents while you're on maternity leave.
• Get clothes cheap on ebay - babies grow so fast clothes rarely wear out, especially in the pre-crawling months. Same applies to toys etc - you can get some great savings by buying local toy bundles and picking them up yourself.
• Accept all freebies offered to you - parents around you can be an invaluable source of advice and used baby equipment - I was given lots of toys, a changing station & bath, moses basket & stand.
• Sell the baby gear on ebay once you're finished with it to accumulate more cash to buy the next lot of stuff.
• Always buy things when on offer ie wipes on buy one get one, nappies when discounted, car seats when on offer. There are lots of useful discount codes on the discount thread.
• Sign up to all the baby shops - Mothercare, ELC etc and you will be emailed lots of offers too. We got a 20% off Mothercare voucher just before DD was born and bought loads with that.

Good luck with the decision making and above all have fun trying if you decide to go for it!