lost everything

dialysis

Panda1969 wrote: »

Dear Diane

I am new to this forum but I can already see how massive the support is.

I just wanted to say that your post moved me, and I can relate so strongly to your feelings. Due to financial difficulties I have lost my two girls (they have gone to live with their Dad as I could no longer afford the rent on my property) and I am living 30 miles from them. I took them home tonight after a weekend visit and it breaks my heart every time.

I am yet to start dealing properly with my debts, but am trying to look at bankruptcy as a positive rather than negative thing. And like lots of things that have a positive outcome (maybe a bit like childbirth - giving birth to a new, debt-free life - sorry if a bit deep!!) the process involved can be very painful and difficult.

It must be really hard if you and your OH are not able to to deal with this together at the moment. But you are both stressed and I am sure it will pass. Lean on friends in the meantime...and you can't go far wrong with the people on here!!

Thinking about you, and knowing what it's like..

Panda x

Hi Panda sorryI havnt replied to your post before now. I am really really sorry about your girls here i am moaning about my financial difficulties whan you are going through far worse, i cannot imagine being without my kids. My kids are 18 and 15 and they have been a great support to us. I can only say that I do have a feeling of what you are going through. My first child died 9 hours after birth with cancer we had tried for her for four years after two miscarriages our world fell apart. And here I am in financial ***t why an I complaining Love and hugs to you!!!!

dodecanese

Hi Diane
Just want to say I hope youre feeling better.
What other people seem to have is often smoke and mirrors- a lot of the nice cars, clothes are all on credit- hence the amount of debt in this country at the minute. I must admit, I used to live that way, nice holidays etc until it all came crashing down. Now Im skint and bankrupt I have good days and bad days- sometimes I feel really relieved the huge burden of unaffordable debt is gone, on others I feel so depressed as I cant even really afford to buy a daily newspaper ( rely on what my colleagues leave behind- a "Sun" is a major prize these days ).
Ive found bankruptcy hard- not the actual "deed" itself, but the emotional ups and downs it brings. In time I know (hope) that will ease, and Im sure it will for you too.
All the best.

tigerfeet2006

Just wanted to send you some (((hugs))) Diane.

I am glad you are feeling a little better now.

Please do go and see your Dr. Sit and write a list of what you want to say, it does help. It's what I do and I find it really helps.

Happy Birthday to your DH :bdaycake:

So_Sad_Angel

dialysis wrote: »

Hi all
Angel got hubby to read posts and I think it helped he realised that our neighbours are not what they seem and also knowing we are not alone.

We have had an OK day today feel a lot better feelings of optimism, I cooked in my kitchen tonite and it was nice. Hope these feelings last. Thank you for all your support on this site I would try and list you all but I am on the whisky maybe not a good idea
love and hugs Diane;)

Hi Diane...steady on the whisky girl!!!

You need to save this thread & use it whenever those `down days` happen. I have got my OH to read here too....it often starts a conversation & suddenly we are debating a debt problem & in itself this helps us deal with our problems...hows that saying go...`its good to talk !`:A

Angexxx

PS Happy Birthday OH !!!

Wol2

Hi D

I can't make a sensible post now..too much *hit hit the fan today for me. however...I can see enough to want to post to you and say:

Courage ma souer..keep strong and keep positive. There are many, many wonderful people here to give you the support you may need to get you through these dark times....So stay strong..stick with it. There will always be light at the end of the tunnel......we (you and me) just have to believe in that..... even when at times we think and feel that we are all alone. Well my dear I've got news.....here on DFW...you are NOT alone....and that makes ALL the difference.

So sweetheart; keep with it, keep posting, keep feeding back so the people here know they are not wasting their time with their advice ..and you will receive riches that you never even dreamt of! God bless the DFW's...and God bless you D!!

Much hugs
Wol2
xxx

betterlatethannever

Wol2, what a lovely, heart felt post. Thank you:j

scaredwitless32

So glad to hear you are having a better day today sounds like you have enjoyed it! Im glad hubby has read some of the posts too.
Best wishes to you and your OH xx

dialysis

Hi everyone sorry I have not posted lately but been busy. thank you for all your kind words and support you have all been a great strenght to me. I am feeling OK today been to see my counsellor and I am having a good day even hubby is starting to feel a little more optimistic. You cant win though my son got his mountain bike pinched last night and to top it all we are not covered on insurance as it wasnt on our property. I went to see my personnel manger today also and was told I can claim my pension through ill health thats the good news the bad news is according to the CCCs the BR will probably take my lump sum. Oh well easy come easy go thats just my luck:eek: Think I have handled the situation quite well considering!!!!
Hope you are all OK

Diane

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Diane,

You sound so much better!! Shame about your sons bike though...happened to my son when he was younger & he learnt a valuable lesson about not leaving things lying about.

Anyway , & I`m not a pension expert, do you have to draw your pension? If you left it where it was then the OR would not expect to take it would they?

I hope someone may know the answer as my OH (much older than me) may have option to draw at 50 so not sure of the position on this.

Angelx

dialysis

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

Hi Diane,

You sound so much better!! Shame about your sons bike though...happened to my son when he was younger & he learnt a valuable lesson about not leaving things lying about.

Anyway , & I`m not a pension expert, do you have to draw your pension? If you left it where it was then the OR would not expect to take it would they?

I hope someone may know the answer as my OH (much older than me) may have option to draw at 50 so not sure of the position on this.

Angelx

Hi Angel
The process has already startedwith regards to pension but the kind CCCs man said I might be able to ask the pension department if I could take a larger yearly pension rather than a lump sum. This would mean that as far as BR goes we would still be under the income bracket so they should not be able to put an IPO on OH salary. The other advice he gave was to wait to go BR but dont want to do that we want to get it over with. It also depends on how much pension I get it all depends on wether they pay me enhanced pension or not it is all to do with wether they class me as not being able to do any job or just the one I am employed to do now. I know I thought i read somewhere that the BR will not take a pension if you go BR after 2000. Like you I hope someone on here will be able to help. How are things going with moving etc

Diane;) x