lost everything

dialysis

Hi All
I really need help, so low and depressed. As some of you will know from my previous threads OH and I have moved out of our home as we are in serious financial ***t. We have moved into rented and have an appointment to go BR on the 29thMay. A year ago we had everything now it is all gone apart from furniture and a car, which will probably go with BR. I thought this move would be a fresh start fro us but it has turned out to be the worst thing I could have done. All I want to do is go 'home' but I cant. OH and I are fighting all the time I think he blames me as after all I lost my job through ill health and I looked after the bills before I lost my job. I know he is feeling it too he is off work with stress. Not only have I lost everything my marriage is not far behind. Thios house I am in does not feel like home neighbours are all loaded we dont belong here. All I seem to do is cry. I dont know how much longer I can go on like this.
Please help
Diane

dane-katie

I understand where you are, to be honest give it time, when your down everything gets on top of you, it did me wonders to go to my doctor and to just talk someone, sit down with your husband explain how you feel and get your husband to do the same with you, it will get better i promise you, remember when you had everything and it has led you to this debt....remember how better you will feel when you pay for everything with cash and not credit, please bare with it and im sure you will get better i was servely depressed and i have come out of it, i am positive you will too!!! Chin up hunnie!!:)

AmIdone4?

Hi Diane (((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))),

God, what can I say, as you are obviously really upset ((((((((more hugs)))))))). I could start by saying that I know a little of what you are feeling, in that a few years ago, I went through a massive and difficult life changing experience, and would say (though it probably won't make the slightest bit of difference at the moment) that things will get better for you.

You have said that things are extremely difficult with your husband at the moment. Have you tried to explain to him how you are feeling at the moment, as you seem so upset? Have you confided in friends or family?? Or is that not an option at the mo?

Things will get better, even if they have to get a little worse first (though things couldn't be much worse could they?). Try to relax a little and come back with how you feel...

Cheers

betterlatethannever

Diane, you have a PM. please read.

FeelingLow

!!{hugs}} i know exactly how you feel hun i felt exacty the same when we moved in december, & still to this day i miss my old house & i say hoiuse & not home as a home is the people & things in it, a house is just bricks & motar, i know when your emotionally attached to a house its so hard but i promise you things do get easier just try not to push hubby away, you are both hurting & probably need each other more now than ever

please keep posting things do get easier !!!!{hugs}}}

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Diane,

You helped me the other week & now its my turn ..Katie is right when she says `remember when you had everything and it has led you to this debt` . You have just moved & after the adrenaline of the last week or so you will experience a little down time..accept this & speak with your OH. We always tend to pick on those closest to us in times like these (..& don`t I know!! ) but somehow the shared experience will make you stronger!!

Tonight I walked around my house (that OH & I have renovated) & cried at the sheer sweat & tears we have put into it ...all seemily for nothing & when I leave it will hurt so much!! I am starting to look at it as if I was 20 again..remember when you did`nt have those heavy burdens round your neck like debt & mortgages. Then I hope to plan with a fresh start...i`m rambling sorry.

So , sit down with a cuppa or stronger ..revisit some threads to give you strength & plan for the future...not whats past...that`s gone now.

<<<hugs>>> does`nt seem enough but I really am thinking & feeling what you are going throu`.

Take some deep breaths sweetie,

Angelxxxx

JPS29

Hi Diane,

I posted on here nearly a month ago now and i think at one point we have all felt how you feel now. Its horrible I know but the people on this board are absolutely fantastic, and you already have 2 stars on here who helped me through (hello AmIdone4 and Sosadangel).

I can't really offer you any advice other than keep coming on here and keep talking to your hubby, he is just as upset as you but us men are funny things at expressing our true feelings without coming across as complete ogres.

Re the people on your estate being loaded..... I live on a similar estate, facing a lake, all detached houses, and you know what I used to be one of them. I unloaded my car with 10 bags of LIDL shopping today and a massive grin on my face knowing they would be gossiping about me. I even whistled while i was doing it to make sure they seen me:rotfl:

Keep your chin up, things WILL get better

So_Sad_Angel

InTheBrownStuff wrote: »

Hi Diane,
I unloaded my car with 10 bags of LIDL shopping today and a massive grin on my face knowing they would be gossiping about me. I even whistled while i was doing it to make sure they seen me:rotfl:

Keep your chin up, things WILL get better

Hi ITBS

LOL .Just have to say well done...I use Netto bags that are recycled!! & then shop at Lidl!!..my neighbours have`nt got a clue!! & I quite enjoy the wind-up factor!!

Diane...hope you are smiling now just a little bit maybe...you have so much support here. xxxx:A

betterlatethannever

I used to watch my very rich neighbour bringing in Kwik Save No Frills Cheese and Tomato Flavoured Pizza, out of the back of his top of the range BMW..i mean, you just wouldn't, would you:o

I bet all your neighbours are living on credit and breaking themselves each month.

wherediditallgo

Hi Diane,

You both need to give yourselves a chance to settle into your new circumstances & your new home. When you've been forced to give up work instead of doing it from choice, it's bound to be a shock, not least of all because you can't really properly prepare for it.

As for where you're living, it takes time to make a house into a home. Don't be fooled into thinking that your neighbours have pots of money - I bet loads of them are in debt up to their eyeballs ("all fur coat & no knickers", as my mum used to say ), & even if they're really loaded to the gills it doesn't make them any better than you.

Although you're short of money, try to find free stuff in your area to go to, as that will get you out of the house during the day - just having something to do or go to will make the world of difference. You could check with your local library (they often have noticeboards with local events), have a look at the council's website to see what's coming up, & also make use of any free/reduced price sports facilities if you're able to do them. If you can swim, you might not want to do several lengths for hours on end, but your local pool might have aquarobics classes - if you can do those, you'd get them at a reduced price as you're out of work, they'd help you with your fitness & you could make new friends there at the same time. Your OH could also find things to do, some of which you could do together, which would help to reduce his stress levels.

Don't let the move get you down. Instead of thinking about the good things you no longer have, try to think about the good things you have to look forward to. More time with your OH, being debt-free in six weeks, & having a chance to start again, a bit battle-scarred but wiser for it.

AmIdone4?

Hi ITBS, Have been watching your thread (just like reading a self-help book:D)

Yes Diane, Just to echo what ITBS and So Sad Angel (oh and feeling low + WDIAG + BLTN- I'm getting true team spirit vibes at the mo.......:D:D ) said really, that you'll get load of support on here.

Cheers

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