Need to brainstorm

tigerfeet2006

betterlatethannever wrote: »

If you look HERE it gives you a rough idea of why they want to move

(sorry for jumping in Tiger, just thought it would save time explaining etc and give people an idea of why you want to move so they can help-hopefully:D )

BLTN you are an absolute star looking out that old post. It must have taken you ages, I am grateful.

I was really having my very own pity party wasn't I. Everyone was so good to put up with me.

So_Sad_Angel

Hey TF,

Getting other folks` opinion is extremely valuable. Ultimately its up to you but the pros & cons suggestion is what I always use....ie get as much info as possible & then jot down p&c `s for each one.

I would also add that if the outcome does not feel `right` then you have your decision as well!! (sorry...in serious rambling mode this evening!!)

Let us know....cheers Angelxx

tigerfeet2006

leonlala wrote: »

hi Tiger
sounds tricky.
lots of positives to both,
i've thought of a view hopefully didn't miss. can you afford to move twice?? as in move then remain on swap book and then move again?? If we stay on the exchange list then we have decided that we can afford to be much more picky to the house we move to so we would be looking at a year/18 months before a move at least we reckon. So I am hoping to save a bit to hire a van to move for then
new house sounds much more desirable than present.( 3 years ago we lived in a two storey flat upstairs in a nice area, but difficult with two kids one a babe at time. we then got offed a three bed house 7 miles from first in a village) bonus was two doors to outside world, that walked straight into garden so safe place for kids to play, garden was much smaller but know have an allotment. any of those nr new? DH has rung the person who deals with them today and there is a year/18 month waiting list and it is about 10/15 mins from us. also no damp and bedroom each for kids. so know where you are coming from.
not sure about the school thing, maybe there will be others going the same way? and split petrol? maybe asked at the school gates find out if anyone else lives in that area. It's the end of term and the school are off for 2 weeks but I'm going to ring the school to try and get more info on the walking bus if there's anyone there.
if this is just a stop gap is it worth it? cost upheaval etc?
good luck with decision
lou

Thank you for that it is much appreciated.

scaredwitless32

Hi Tigerfeet,

I really have no advice for you, it's certainly a hard one , all I would say is how much do you REALLY want to get out from where you are?

See no help at all , so I'll just keep quiet

Best wishes
H

Ps Hope babba is better soon

tigerfeet2006

Persolv0 wrote: »

Thanks for the link betterlatethannever.

Hello again Tigerfeet
catching up on the condition of your current house clarifies your dilemma alot but i guess my two cents worth remains the same.....you just seem to have so many doubts on the new place with good reason as your post explains weighed up against how important is it to move.

One positive is at least its black and white in the sense that you have two options

1)hold out for somewhere geographically more suitable The neighbour from hell has been near the top of the waiting list for 2 years for something in the same area and hasn't found anything suitable. So it could be a long wait.

2)move into a nice new house and leave the dampness behind Hmm! really sounds tempting.

yeak ok...theres the third grey area of moving into the new house and reapplying for an exchange in time as mentioned above Could be a while before something suitable comes up so could be in new house for a little while. Though having a new house in a very desirable area means the chance of mutual exchange is much more likely, but we could afford to be choosey where we want to move into. More so than now.

Ill always come down on the side of health comes first but in your case its a bit double edged...you dont want the kids in a damp house on one hand and on the other you need to consider your own mobility My kids are my life and they are constantly ill at the moment. It's a nightmare.

if it was me?.....i think the dampness and lack of rooms would be the deciding factor and id move(albeit with the neighbour from hell but she is six doors away so at least not next door) and when i re qualify id keep looking for an exchange that ticked more boxes.....leaves the extra distance to school etc problem of course but in my mind moving gets you and your family into a more comfortable envireoment and hopefully the issues moving creates can at least be limited with some thinking and overcoming the negatives Thinking this more and more.

best wishes to you and yours

Thanks for helping me brainstorm, you are a star.

tigerfeet2006

wherediditallgo wrote: »

I think I'd wait to see what your nightmare neighbour does. If they accept the new property, She is definatly accepting it! . I used to have a horrible neighbour, & 6 streets wouldn't have been enough for me, never mind 6 doors DH has been on the new HA's website tonight and they have one hell of a strict anti-social behaviour policy. It is 10 times better than ours. You are on probation with them for the first year and they renew your contract weekly during that period, as long as you behave yourself you have a roof over your head. They provide servaillance equipment and all sorts to help plus lots of other things.. I'd then turn down this property without declaring an interest in it, as that won't affect your future eligibility. As your children get older, they will need more room not less. Also, you have to bear in mind your disability - I have mobility problems, & two of the reasons for me moving to where I am are now were that I have less stairs to deal with (I used to have 5 flights of stairs to contend with just to get to my own front door), and I'm nearer to work. Believe me, being able to get on a bus literally across the road from my office for a 10-minute journey & get off it 2 minutes from my door is great at the best of times, & an absolute godsend when I'm not feeling at my best or the weather's rotten. Checking out buses tomorrow and DH is going to check his work run. He thinks he might be able to drop son off at the walking bus or all of us if neccesary

Don't let the location of the college influence you - courses change, colleges move sites, & even if your children wanted to study there, by then they'll be old enough to get there under their own steam from wherever you're living. Also, open space is important - whether you're growing veg or sunning yourself in the nuddy, everyone needs somewhere to escape to when the house gets claustrophobic (noisy children etc), & you'll miss the space you have now. I realise the storage heaters are costing you a lot in winter, but summer's coming so that will drop soon. Yep! that's a thought, but could be here next winter.

I've always believed that a house/flat becomes a home when you first get that "Ooh" & a little tingle about it & can't resist a smile. I don't think you've felt anything like that about this one, so I'd say stay put. And if you turn down this one, plague your housing officer like I did mine until they offer you something else.

This flat has never been a home it's a place I loathe and despise with a passion.

The HO didn't even tell us about these and I have been ringing her every week since my 'whinge' thread. I'd actually rung her on the Friday just before this letter turned up and she told me that there was nothing at all, any where.

tigerfeet2006

Praxis99 wrote: »

I tend to find that when I ignore my 'gut' feeling I tend to regret it. The feeling I get from viewing your post is that you don't feel this is the right move for you at this time. I'd also consider some of the practicalities particularly re the journey time to school.

I have some experience of this having moved to my current home (which I rent from a HA) via a home swap some 2 yrs ago (swapping a five bedroom house - in which I lived alone) for a 2 bed one. Yes on a practical level it was a good move and saved me a good deal of money and time spent looking after the house, but in doing so I gave up a 'home' for a 'house' and one in which I have never settled. With hindsight I'd have hung tight and checked out my options better (I had a great deal of leverage given the nature of the property I was giving up).

As I said to BLTN this place has never been a home. I hate it and will be glad to be out. Though I will miss the gardens and I have to accept where ever we move we will never have gardens as big again.

tigerfeet2006

MammaCas wrote: »

Hiya TF

Sorry, I don't know your 'whole' situation, I remember that you are in a flat with bad damp and are overcrowded (hope I remembered correctly).Yep! you did, thank you.

The new house sounds lovely, although it will be expensive for carpeting/flooring initially.The kitchen, downstairs toilet, bathroom and en-suite will have flooring down as standard.We are going over to Carpet Right this week to check their prices as they are having a 50% off plus other discounts on at the moment.The HA are also putting a built in gas oven in the kitchen, which is lovely as I have been praying that mine will soldier on just that little bit longer for us.

The nightmare neighbour would be further away than is present? Yup!! Won't have her son jumping on my head (metaphorically!0 at 6 oclock every morning. Won't have the constant shouting and screaming and everything else we are putting up with at the moment above us. The house is end of terrace so I suppose we will have next door to contend with, but hopefully....

Would it be you that has to take children to school/nursery? Is it on a bus route? Is there any possibility of them moving schools nearer to the new house? No the school nearest the house is not as good, they have just had a new head to try and improve things. The school my son goes to at the moment is a faith school and has just sailed through ofsted. They have an especially good record with bright children of which my son is. Am going to investigate buses tomorrow.

Sorry for all the questions...I know what you mean about brain storming - sometimes it helps if other people give their 'outside view'. That's it exactly. It's helping get my thoughts in some sort of order.

If it would make your daily life better after considering all of the above then I would go for it. If it would make life difficult, then I would wait for the next offer...

HTH

MC xx

Thanks MC.

tigerfeet2006

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

Hey TF,

Getting other folks` opinion is extremely valuable. Ultimately its up to you but the pros & cons suggestion is what I always use....ie get as much info as possible & then jot down p&c `s for each one.

I would also add that if the outcome does not feel `right` then you have your decision as well!! (sorry...in serious rambling mode this evening!!)

Let us know....cheers Angelxx

Cheers Angel. Having people write their thoughts on the situation down for me has been very helpful. I know ultimatly the final descision is ours to make but it is helping me put things into perspective and bringing u things I han't thought of. My pro's and con's list is growing.

tigerfeet2006

Thanks once again folks for letting me brainstorm with you. I am off to bed now to TRY and sleep with a fractious baby and will go through the DFW thread tomorrow. Everyone has been so generous with their time. Thank you once again.